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jtaylor991

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jtaylor991
  • Town/Country : Kansas City, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 8 August 1985 (28 years)
  • Number of visits : 1780
  • Number of comments : 73
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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jtaylor991's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

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jtaylor991's favorite FMLs

Today, I was eating lunch, and accidentally got ketchup on the sofa, so I hastily doused it with stain remover. The ketchup is now no longer there; however there is a larger stain in its place. I stained the sofa with stain remover. FML

#19673245
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17340) - you deserved it (3782)

On 05/24/2012 at 3:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I am on vacation in the Smoky Mountains with my parents. They just decided to take me to the place I was conceived seventeen years ago: a bench at a public park. FML

#19673132
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23207) - you deserved it (2041)

On 05/24/2012 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, after spending about 5 grand on my home studio over the past year, I realized I have no musical talent whatsoever. FML

#19660967
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6117) - you deserved it (29702)

On 05/22/2012 at 3:34am - misc - by gaga - United States (California)

Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML

#19660572
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22499) - you deserved it (4476)

On 05/22/2012 at 1:05am - intimacy - by chchboy (man) - United States

Today, my colleague yet again misused the word "literally." It's driving me insane. I have to work opposite him and hear him say things like he's just "literally shit himself inside out." FML

#19656531
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14957) - you deserved it (3383)

On 05/21/2012 at 10:11am - work - by Rebecca (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

#19650159
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24335) - you deserved it (2760)

On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to the water park with my boyfriend. A swimsuit was required to go on the rides. My bikini straps somehow got torn off and I had nothing else with me. My boyfriend said, "Hell, just wear my spare shorts. You could pass as a guy with your chest". FML

#19642292
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22854) - you deserved it (2125)

On 05/18/2012 at 3:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML

#19641324
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19069) - you deserved it (5427)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:13am - kids - by 23yearoldtoddler - United States

Today, I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML

#19640630
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6229) - you deserved it (47547)

On 05/18/2012 at 3:41am - health - by TLJ321 -

Today, I wanted to prank my roommate. So, I thought it would be funny to take all the toilet paper out of our bathroom. She thought it would be funny to wipe with my cashmere sweater. FML

#19640453
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6033) - you deserved it (44764)

On 05/18/2012 at 2:07am - misc - by Karmaisabitch - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was reading a book on paper for the first time in maybe a month. I had to stop at a word I did not recognise. Because I'm so used to using a Kindle, I tried to get the definition by pressing it. I had my finger on the word for a few seconds before I realised it was paper. FML

#19637178
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6158) - you deserved it (32784)

On 05/17/2012 at 2:57pm - misc - by Bilze - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was really stressed, so I tried to let it out by crying. It lasted about 30 seconds, and I was making fun of myself the whole time. Even my subconscious thinks I'm pathetic. FML

#19636428
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17566) - you deserved it (4376)

On 05/17/2012 at 10:37am - health - by Username (man) - Australia

Today, I noticed that whenever someone belches, I immediately think of my boyfriend. FML

#19636097
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13791) - you deserved it (2894)

On 05/17/2012 at 8:00am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was told the Mandarin greeting that my new Chinese friends at school taught me was not really a greeting at all. I've been proclaiming "I'm a dumb bitch" every time I've greeted them, almost every day for the past month. FML

#19627538
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18095) - you deserved it (5758)

On 05/15/2012 at 3:02pm - misc - by FML (woman) - Finland

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

#19623439
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35977) - you deserved it (3780) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm - misc - by lafinesse (woman) -



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