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jtaylor991

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jtaylor991

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 8 August 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2641
  • Number of comments : 73
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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jtaylor991's page activity

Visits<b>khloelpcn</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 4:13pm<b>jazzmin1997</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 10:23am<b>imaCONartist</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 6:01pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 8:58pm<b>ryanbeast</b> - the 05/06/2012 at 10:06pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 3:27am<b>OhzNoes</b> - the 06/06/2009 at 1:45am

jtaylor991's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

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jtaylor991's favorite FMLs

Today, I was selected to give my speech to the entire school. I was later told it had to be censored because it was inappropriate, even though I was just trying to make a point. My speech was on political correctness. My speech on political correctness was censored for political reasons. FML

#1973868
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44801) - you deserved it (4580)

On 05/16/2009 at 9:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at the mall with my girlfriend's family. Her 7 year old brother told me he was feeling sad, so I tried to give him a pat on the back, but it turns out he had a bruise there. He yelled out "don't touch me there!" In the middle of the mall. Now her parents think I'm a pedophile. FML

#1971968
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48071) - you deserved it (3713)

On 05/16/2009 at 4:39am - misc - by notacreep (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, we were running late for school so my mum shouted at me to hurry up and get in the car. I put my school bags in the boot of the car and my mum drove off. It wasn't until she got to my school and told me to get out that she realised I wasn't there. FML

#1898485
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54750) - you deserved it (3841)

On 05/13/2009 at 8:36am - misc - by albert (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I spent hours baking a multi-layered, detailed cake from scratch for my mom's birthday. It took two seconds for my dog to devour the cake while I picked up a spoon I dropped on the floor. FML

#1868232
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51263) - you deserved it (6212)

On 05/12/2009 at 7:16am - animals - by babyboomerang (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday. I went to the bathroom and heard the woman in the other stall crying. She couldn't pull her underwear up over her obese, old-lady ass because her arms don't reach that far anymore. I was the only one there. I had no choice. FML

#1866535
385 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75408) - you deserved it (10869)

On 05/12/2009 at 3:19am - health - by bathroomseww (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took my lunch break to buy my mom a pretty orchid. I took it to her apartment (to which I have a key), placed it on her coffee table with her card, and went back to work, pleased with my surprise. She called me later to ask why I got her a stick in a pot of dirt. Her cat ate the orchid. FML

Today, my 3 year old kid wanted to do something nice. I told him he could pick up some of his toys. He washed my new Iphone instead. FML

#1774504
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54463) - you deserved it (7111)

On 05/09/2009 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Troms)

Today, while in the hot tub with my friends, my gum fell out of my mouth and I had no idea where it went. Later that night I realized it had fallen down my swimsuit and had become adhered to my pubic hairs which then stuck to my underwear. FML

#1752202
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45994) - you deserved it (18267)

On 05/08/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by ydahs (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving down the road at about 10pm, when the passenger in the car in front of me threw something out the window. The object flew towards and landed directly on my windshield. It was a condom. A used condom. It wasn't tied. Semen spreads out quite a bit when you're driving fast. FML

#1600602
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (130334) - you deserved it (7158)

On 05/03/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by Aether (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML

#1550059
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30175) - you deserved it (275998)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:21am - health - by breathalizard (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I told my mom I'm severely allergic to my cat and that the doctor told me it would be best to get rid of the cat. Somewhat jokingly, I told her it was either me or the cat. She chose the cat. She was serious too. FML

#1432736
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46838) - you deserved it (5005)

On 04/28/2009 at 7:05pm - animals - by My_Cow_kiM (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was looking at my recommendations on Amazon, which included several vibrators. Just a few days earlier I was looking at books on anger management. Amazon thinks I need to get laid. They're right. FML

#1297315
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62422) - you deserved it (8468)

On 04/24/2009 at 6:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, as I was washing the dishes, I felt what I thought was a mosquito on my leg. I kicked at it with my foot only to realize that I had just kicked my adopted puppy in the face. Now, whenever I come into a room, he runs to the corner and pees. FML

#1286671
349 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25753) - you deserved it (85756)

On 04/24/2009 at 11:18am - animals - by Anonymousagb (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)



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