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jstorie95

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jstorie95
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 143
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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jstorie95's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML

#19710494
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26359) - you deserved it (2568) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm - love - by Monsieur-Madame (man) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, I heard my alarm go off, dragged myself out of bed, had breakfast and got ready for work. As I was heading out the door I checked the time again. It was 1:41 AM. Apparently my alarm never actually went off. FML

#18520175
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25767) - you deserved it (4037)

On 12/15/2011 at 3:12pm - misc - by 2285morgan - United States

Today, I had to jump into my car while it was still moving. Apparently, just because you put it in park and turn it off, doesn't mean it won't take off towards a ditch without warning. FML

#18473570
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17786) - you deserved it (7467)

On 12/10/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by CassieMarieee - United States (Texas)

Today, while standing completely still at Walmart, I was hit by a drunk man on a Jazzy Scooter. He laughed, said it was an accident, gunned the scooter and took out two more people. FML

#18459479
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21760) - you deserved it (2191)

On 12/08/2011 at 9:48am - misc - by skidmark (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my entire family came over for thanksgiving. It went pretty well, only four family members got in a fist fight and only one cop car was called. FML

#18341850
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23113) - you deserved it (1814)

On 11/24/2011 at 9:49pm - misc - by guy - United States

Today, I was working the graveyard shift as a security guard. I fell asleep in my car doing paperwork around 2 am. When my supervisor came to check on me, he pounded on my window, wearing a "Scream" mask. I panicked and pepper sprayed him. Too bad my window was closed. FML

#18208389
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13723) - you deserved it (29666)

On 11/10/2011 at 6:40am - work - by copshop - United States (California)

Today, I got shot at. Not by police, but by a hunter. While at work. Driving a garbage truck. How the hell a hunter mistook an orange-clad garbageman in a truck for a deer is beyond me. FML

#18188542
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29344) - you deserved it (2428)

On 11/07/2011 at 10:17pm - work - by lprocter1982 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was hurriedly doing laundry. I threw a second load in the dryer and slammed the door shut. All of a sudden, I heard scratching and whining coming from the dryer. My cat probably hates me now. FML

#18129545
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13618) - you deserved it (32336)

On 11/01/2011 at 3:02pm - animals - by benji - United States (Michigan)

Today, while in the car with my mom, she gave me a lecture about how bad of a driver I am. During that process she ran a red light and hit a car. FML

#18117452
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24406) - you deserved it (2052)

On 10/31/2011 at 12:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got pulled over. Suspicious that I'd been drinking, the police officer made me walk a straight line and recite the alphabet. I failed both. I was completely sober. FML

Today, my brother and father thought it would be a good idea to wake me up by turning on a chainsaw and wearing hockey masks. FML

#14753442
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29657) - you deserved it (3868)

On 01/29/2011 at 2:29am - misc - by unlucky dudebag - United States (California)

Today, my Dad told me that I was named after the dog he accidentally shot in the head as a teenager. FML

#9081770
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24570) - you deserved it (1755)

On 03/14/2010 at 7:23pm - animals - by OhhhNooo (man) - United States (California)

Today, we had company over, and after dinner, I saw a package of gumballs sitting on the table. Figuring my brother had brought them, I took one and bit it. I got a bunch of weird looks. Turns out wasn't a gumball - it was a mini paintball. FML

#6768008
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5808) - you deserved it (17980)

On 12/15/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by BlueMouth (woman) - United States (New York)



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