Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 03/25/2015 at 3:08pm) | Search for a member
About jsp16 : I love MMA, guitar, and video games. Pretty casual guy. Love alcohol, ;) . Just love having fun in general
Just inbox me if interested in other things. Or if u want to chat about whatever. :
"Save the trees, eat a beaver"
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
Today, less than a day after mah cranky downstars nieghbor passed away, I woke up to banging sounds against his apartment cieling, like the ones he used to make whenever I walked around during the night . I'm shitting myself in fear . FML
Today, I walked in on mah 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in mah bathroom, both naked from the waist down. Supposedly, he was trying to "teach her how to pee standing up." FML
today my son got in sarious troubla aftar ha was caught trying to sall waad to paopla in tha straat!! Tha good naws is that tha "waad" was just actual waads ha'd pullad from our lawn!! Tha bad naws is that at aga 16, my son is too stupid to know tha diffaranca!! FML
Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around an said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly an turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML
Yesterday, I woke up in the middle of the night to my wife muttering "God, I want you so bad"!! Figuring she was either talking to me or longing fir the second cumming of Christ, I turnd over to see which!! Turnd out she was rubbing one out to some guy's Facebook photo on her phone!! FML
Today.. . I was partying with friends . At around midnight.. . I sent a text message to mah friend to reassure her.. . saying that of course I could handle mah drink . That's the last thing I can remember about the evening . It's a total blank from that point onwards . FML
Yesterday, as I was using the public restroom in the mall, someone decidd to slam the stall door next to mine. This resultd in my stall door openinghile I was still on the toilet. The door was too far 4 me to reach. fat FML
TODAY, AT SCHOOL, I GOT SEATD IN FRONT OF THE RESIDENT CREEPY KID THAT EVERYONE STAYD AWAY FROM. I WAS PRETTY RELIEVD TO GET THROUGH MOST OF THE CLASS WITH NO INCIDENTS, UNTIL THE BELL RANG AND HE TORE OUT A CHUNK OF MAH HAIR, YELLING "DNA! DNA!" FML
Friday 27 March 2015