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jscoggs21

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jscoggs21

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 608
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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jscoggs21's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband and I broke the news to my 10-year-old son that in about 8 months, he'll have a baby brother or sister. I knew he never wanted a sibling, but I didn't expect him to throw a tantrum, then look at me through teary eyes and scream, "Why can't you keep your fucking legs closed?" FML

#21423894
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35254) - you deserved it (6970)

On 06/10/2015 at 12:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I took new sleeping meds. One of the side effects was sleepwalking. I had a dream my girlfriend wanted me to pee on her. Apparently, while sleepwalking, I pissed all over our dog. FML

#21423425
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23261) - you deserved it (2649)

On 06/09/2015 at 4:03pm - health - by feels like an asshole - United States

Today, my dog was knocked unconscious. I had to race him to the vet and pay a small fortune for x-rays and shots. All because he ran into the kitchen at full speed and smashed headfirst into the refrigerator after hearing me open a bag of turkey. FML

Today, my husband and I caught our 12-year-old son "experimenting" with a 5-foot tall stuffed Mickey Mouse. He even made sure to rip Mickey's pants off. FML

#21392745
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29454) - you deserved it (3065)

On 04/13/2015 at 1:35am - intimacy - by bigmouthedmommy - United States (California)

Today, I went to the gun range for a birthday and got shot in the foot by my mom. FML

#21390121
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30084) - you deserved it (3746)

On 04/08/2015 at 5:17pm - misc - by Notre_Dame_714 - United States

Today, at the DMV I was told I had to prove, with a doctor's note, that I was an amputee and my disability was permanent to get my placard. Apparently, setting my prosthetic leg on the counter wasn't proof enough, and is considered "threatening". The police were called. FML

#21386342
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38661) - you deserved it (2088)

On 04/02/2015 at 2:43am - health - by usadisvet (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML

#21384025
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37076) - you deserved it (2951)

On 03/30/2015 at 6:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was sitting in my bedroom relaxing when I heard my little sister and my brother. Thinking it was cute they were talking again, I was listening. They were not just "talking", they were making plans on how to kill me. FML

#21383476
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31088) - you deserved it (2715)

On 03/29/2015 at 8:54am - kids - by M.SHUKRI - United States (Illinois)

Today, my older brother puked in the sound hole of my sister's guitar. He blamed it on me, and in revenge my sister beat me with the guitar. FML

#21383103
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27227) - you deserved it (1830)

On 03/28/2015 at 5:30pm - misc - by Pukey - United States

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

#21379710
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32937) - you deserved it (6586)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm - misc - by oooooops (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided to show off one of his favorite skills: Peeing on my ceiling. FML

#21378092
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27820) - you deserved it (3195)

On 03/19/2015 at 11:22pm - love - by TooShortToCleanThat - United States

Today, I found out how much those tiny dogs cost when my German Shepherd ate one. FML

#21377263
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32682) - you deserved it (11182)

On 03/18/2015 at 6:23pm - animals - by brokeforever (man) - Latvia (Riga)

Today, while on a date, I desperately let out a stealth fart in my date's car. I didn't have the nerve to own up to it, even as he started panicking and thinking the smell was coming from his engine. FML

#21374172
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27436) - you deserved it (7708)

On 03/14/2015 at 12:27am - misc - by thecarisfine (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, in my online class I accidentally unmuted my mic. Normally that would be fine except today I decided to serenade myself with a silly song. I didn't realize until everyone started clapping at the end of the song. FML

#21373396
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27618) - you deserved it (6310)

On 03/12/2015 at 8:39pm - misc - by acapelladisaster - United States (Indiana)



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