I am on myspace, but who isnt't?
www.myspace.com/jrotcsuck
Well I guess the petafiles in jail aren't anymore. Haha losers.
Today, I gave my wife her anniversary card. She started to giggle then walked in our bedroom and came back with the exact same card from last year. This is the second time I've done this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4260) - you totally deserved it (17353)
On 12/22/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by todayJman03 (man) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years confessed that he was sleeping with me and 5 other girls while we first started dating. He told me he numbered us and rolled a die to see which one he would date. I guess I won. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20667) - you totally deserved it (1787)
On 12/16/2009 at 7:09am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was getting ready to go to a surprise party I'd planned for my best friend. All was going well on the discretion part until I logged onto Facebook. I saw that my sister had set her status to, "At Natalie's surprise party! BBL!" Natalie had liked it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17264) - you totally deserved it (1406)
On 12/11/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by surprise (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was pulling into a parking garage space and using the next car over to judge where the wall was in front of me, but ended up whumping my front bumper as I pulled forward. Wondering what had happened, I got out to see that the car I was aligning myself against had hit the wall too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3742) - you totally deserved it (11727)
On 12/11/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my daughter's school called to inform me that I needed to bring her some sneakers. Not feeling like driving the 15 minutes to her school, I told them I was away from town. Then I realized I was on my house phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2073) - you totally deserved it (35713)
On 12/10/2009 at 9:34am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, completely excited, I told my mom about this guy from high school, that I had really liked and who had found me on Facebook. He said he regretted not asking me out in high school and offered to fly me out to visit him. Her response? "Has he seen what you look like now?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25174) - you totally deserved it (2141)
On 10/07/2009 at 5:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my fiance was performing oral on me. I was really getting into it, when I heard him start making a "Waka waka waka waka" noise. When asked, he confessed to pretending to be Pacman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9589) - you totally deserved it (2152)
On 10/03/2009 at 9:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26643) - you totally deserved it (64139)
On 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by blizzard_of_77 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was volunteering at a school. There's this really bratty boy there and he was being rude, so I joked, "How are you ever gonna get a girlfriend when you're so mean?" He responds, "I think the better question is how are you ever gonna get a boyfriend when you're so ugly." He's 7. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45108) - you totally deserved it (9566)
On 04/07/2009 at 7:34pm - kids - by ugly (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (106941) - you totally deserved it (27451)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my boyfriend brought me breakfast in bed, told me all the things he loved about me, got down on one knee and pulled out the little blue box I had been hoping for, for so long. He opened the box and there was a note inside that said, "April Fools!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (182746) - you totally deserved it (20037)
On 04/01/2009 at 9:44am - love - by twstedillusion (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, while walking to class enjoying the warmer weather, a bee flew down my shirt. I'm allergic to bees so I freaked out and started ripping my clothes off. By the time I was done, I was half naked and there was no bee in sight. Turns out, it was the string on my jacket hood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40062) - you totally deserved it (21271)
On 03/31/2009 at 2:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I checked my facebook, and my wife of 5 years was listed as single. I then write on her wall that it is ok to announce to be married. She writes back saying that we have to talk and to come to the kitchen. My wife divorced me over facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (193243) - you totally deserved it (6653)
On 03/30/2009 at 5:34pm - love - by nothappywithlife (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my friend told the cute waiter it was my birthday. He brought out a dessert with a candle and put a huge sombrero on my head. Everyone at the restaurant started singing me happy birthday. I got embarrassed and put my head down. My sombrero caught on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49227) - you totally deserved it (16284)
On 03/29/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by Hotsauce887 (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I got a small scar on my faced removed at a plastic surgeon's. Afterward, I told my mom that losing the scar felt weird, like I lost something that gave me character. My mom replied, "Don't worry, you have plenty of other flaws to give you character." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40947) - you totally deserved it (4349)
On 03/27/2009 at 12:07am - misc - by Lena (woman) - United States (Florida)
