Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 11/01/2015 at 5:16pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 25 October 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 326
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jrod92 : Well I love to laugh. I have more of a dark sense of humor, although it's pretty easy to get a laugh out of me. I try not to take things too serious and enjoy all the little ups and downs, even when the downs make me want to punch a baby (not literally, I like babies). A couple of my favorite hobbies are eating and sleeping. Lucky for me it just so happens those things are required to stay alive, so life's good. Um, I like Daniel Tosh and his show, along with a few others. Not into Facebook, Twitter, or anything else. Also, I live under a rock because I don't understand what most abbreviations other than Idk, lol, or lmfao mean. But it's a pretty cool rock, just sayin.

jrod92's page activity

Visits<b>Robby2448</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 10:05pm<b>violinest20</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 10:58pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 5:44pm<b>Brian2911</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 7:28am<b>FrenchToastKick</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 1:02am<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 3:18am<b>FFStepchild283</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 6:02am<b>sinn3r76</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 2:18pm<b>ItsaBucsLife</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 12:12pm<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 6:58am<b>JordanODST</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 4:00pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 2:42pm<b>carebear1228</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 9:43pm<b>kunal222</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 9:23pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 9:01pm<b>jerzjay</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 8:10pm<b>pks2014</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 11:39am<b>shain1988</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 8:44am

Fucked!<b>sinn3r76</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 8:19pm<b>carebear1228</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 3:43am<b>kunal222</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 3:24am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 3:01am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 3:21am<b>pks2014</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 1:39am<b>amcquaid</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 8:29pm

jrod92's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.


Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.


You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of jrod92's badges

jrod92's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting heated. I kissed her on the neck, chest, stomach, and threw up as I kissed between her legs. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29382) - you deserved it (5737) - Translated from the version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/23/2015 at 11:17pm - intimacy - by Walter (man) - Spain

Today, I got fired, apparently for being racist to black people. When I told my boyfriend, he couldn't stop laughing. He's black. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32373) - you deserved it (3157)

On 07/15/2015 at 6:02pm - misc - by Razz - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend decided to suddenly stop in the middle of sex, just as I was actually starting to enjoy myself, just to bear hug me and exclaim, "Crikey, she's angry!" in the voice of Steve Irwin. He laughed so hard at his own joke that he went soft and couldn't continue. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34099) - you deserved it (3446)

On 05/16/2015 at 5:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, I was supporting my aunt as she gave birth. She was getting tired during the pushing stage, so I tried to encourage her by making a show of pushing as well with each contraction. I got a little too into it and accidentally gave birth to a little turd of my own. FML

Today, I went on a date with a girl I like. Afterwards, I drove her home, and we just sat there awkwardly. I thought she wanted to kiss me but was nervous, so I jokingly said "What're you waiting for? Christmas?" I guess she took that as a "Get the hell out", because she broke into tears and left. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24467) - you deserved it (32606)

On 04/18/2015 at 10:38am - love - by fuck (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (42869) - you deserved it (5339)

On 11/23/2014 at 11:34am - intimacy - by 404: fuck not given (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50757) - you deserved it (4195)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44858) - you deserved it (10806)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I was informed by a laughing friend, that my phone must be taking and uploading photos to Google+. Among numerous black shots, there is a particularly nice one of me while I'm sitting on the toilet. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38125) - you deserved it (5813)

On 07/14/2014 at 5:31am - misc - by photoman (man) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I saw a cute guy and decided to say hi. As I started to think about things to talk about, one story in particular about a drummer who looked like Jesus stuck out in my mind. I was so nervous that instead of saying hi, I blurted out, "Some people look like Jesus!" and took off. FML

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to viciously rip off my thong. My ass crack is numb. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34501) - you deserved it (7288)

On 10/25/2011 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by beccav23 - United States (Texas)

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML


I agree, your life sucks (14492) - you deserved it (62017)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was in the line at Chipotle and noticed a very attractive lady in her mid 20's. I deliberately took the table next to her and her friend and happened to overhear what they were talking about. They were both discussing how much diarrhea they were going to have when they got home. FML


I agree, your life sucks (9476) - you deserved it (29363)

On 01/19/2010 at 7:08pm - misc - by maximus (man) - United States (Maryland)

Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: