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Offline (the 11/01/2015 at 5:16pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 25 October 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 607
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jrod92 : Well I love to laugh. I have more of a dark sense of humor, although it's pretty easy to get a laugh out of me. I try not to take things too serious and enjoy all the little ups and downs, even when the downs make me want to punch a baby (not literally, I like babies). A couple of my favorite hobbies are eating and sleeping. Lucky for me it just so happens those things are required to stay alive, so life's good. Um, I like Daniel Tosh and his show, along with a few others. Not into Facebook, Twitter, or anything else. Also, I live under a rock because I don't understand what most abbreviations other than Idk, lol, or lmfao mean. But it's a pretty cool rock, just sayin.

jrod92's page activity

Visits<b>thomas5915</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 8:58am<b>Robby2448</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 10:05pm<b>violinest20</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 10:58pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 5:44pm<b>Brian2911</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 7:28am<b>FrenchToastKick</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 1:02am<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 3:18am<b>FFStepchild283</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 6:02am<b>sinn3r76</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 2:18pm<b>ItsaBucsLife</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 12:12pm<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 6:58am<b>JordanODST</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 4:00pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 2:42pm<b>carebear1228</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 9:43pm<b>kunal222</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 9:23pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 9:01pm<b>jerzjay</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 8:10pm<b>pks2014</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 11:39am

Fucked!<b>sinn3r76</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 8:19pm<b>carebear1228</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 3:43am<b>kunal222</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 3:24am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 3:01am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 3:21am<b>pks2014</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 1:39am<b>amcquaid</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 8:29pm

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jrod92's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting heated. I kissed her on the neck, chest, stomach, and threw up as I kissed between her legs. FML

by Walter / 10/23/2015 at 11:17pm / Spain / Intimacy

Today, I got fired, apparently for being racist to black people. When I told my boyfriend, he couldn't stop laughing. He's black. FML

by Razz / 07/15/2015 at 6:02pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was late for work, so I grabbed my handbag, my sports bag and ran out. The bus arrived at the stop just as I did, so I hopped on and sat down, trying to catch my breath. I dumped my bags onto my knees and looked down to see my cat, staring back at me from inside my sports bag. FML

by matou / 07/09/2015 at 4:41pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend decided to suddenly stop in the middle of sex, just as I was actually starting to enjoy myself, just to bear hug me and exclaim, "Crikey, she's angry!" in the voice of Steve Irwin. He laughed so hard at his own joke that he went soft and couldn't continue. FML

by Anonymous / 05/16/2015 at 5:11am / United Kingdom (Aberdeen City) / Intimacy

Today, I was supporting my aunt as she gave birth. She was getting tired during the pushing stage, so I tried to encourage her by making a show of pushing as well with each contraction. I got a little too into it and accidentally gave birth to a little turd of my own. FML

by nityasomaiya / 05/16/2015 at 1:34am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went on a date with a girl I like. Afterwards, I drove her home, and we just sat there awkwardly. I thought she wanted to kiss me but was nervous, so I jokingly said "What're you waiting for? Christmas?" I guess she took that as a "Get the hell out", because she broke into tears and left. FML

by fuck / 04/18/2015 at 10:38am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML

by 404: fuck not given / 11/23/2014 at 11:34am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

by disappointedjamaican / 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

by cat lady / 08/30/2014 at 7:56am / Norway (Rogaland) / Animals

Today, I was informed by a laughing friend, that my phone must be taking and uploading photos to Google+. Among numerous black shots, there is a particularly nice one of me while I'm sitting on the toilet. FML

by photoman / 07/14/2014 at 5:31am / Austria (Wien) / Geek

Today, I saw a cute guy and decided to say hi. As I started to think about things to talk about, one story in particular about a drummer who looked like Jesus stuck out in my mind. I was so nervous that instead of saying hi, I blurted out, "Some people look like Jesus!" and took off. FML

by wondercat40 / 04/24/2014 at 5:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I packed my bags and left for the airport. When I passed through security, the X-ray scanner discovered that my cat had also come along for the ride. FML

by tal / 08/22/2012 at 5:57am / France / Animals

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to viciously rip off my thong. My ass crack is numb. FML

by beccav23 / 10/25/2011 at 12:08pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

by notinthebutt / 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm / United States (Minnesota) / Money

Today, I was in the line at Chipotle and noticed a very attractive lady in her mid 20's. I deliberately took the table next to her and her friend and happened to overhear what they were talking about. They were both discussing how much diarrhea they were going to have when they got home. FML

by maximus / 01/19/2010 at 7:08pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous