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jrduarte

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jrduarte

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  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 267
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jrduarte's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML

#20669389
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49689) - you deserved it (13514)

On 05/17/2013 at 5:16pm - health - by -1 friend (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML

#20668913
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47824) - you deserved it (3355)

On 05/17/2013 at 11:52am - misc - by Sonofa - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad used to stalk when he was in high school. FML

#20668592
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45859) - you deserved it (2919)

On 05/17/2013 at 5:25am - misc - by Jololol - United States

Today, my family and friends decided to throw a surprise party for my 16th birthday. I was so surprised that the shortness of breath triggered a serious asthma attack. FML

#20668366
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40886) - you deserved it (3438)

On 05/17/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by presente13 (woman) - United States

Today, I had to listen to yet another delusional fuckface at school bitch about how a girl he's interested in put him in the "friend-zone". I really couldn't focus on my work, so I tried to shut him up by saying he's an idiot, not least because she already has a boyfriend. I now have a black eye. FML

#20667310
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35518) - you deserved it (16131)

On 05/16/2013 at 4:31pm - health - by getafucktoysomewhereelsedude (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on my sister masturbating with my curling iron. FML

#20667250
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73177) - you deserved it (6149)

On 05/16/2013 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by need € for new iron (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I was sitting next to an attractive man. Much to my surprise, he started stroking his foot against mine. I was happy at the flirting because I've been attracted to him forever, so I played along. That's when he stood up and explained he was trying to stretch out a cramp. FML

#20664979
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53006) - you deserved it (10404)

On 05/15/2013 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by Redfaced (woman) - United Kingdom (Walsall)

Today, I was wearing a black shirt, black pants, and a black beanie at a grocery store. I came around a corner, bumped into a woman and she screamed, "Murderer." I was immediately thrown out. FML

#20664547
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43301) - you deserved it (9446)

On 05/15/2013 at 3:20am - misc - by notarobber (man) - United States (California)

Today, as usual, my mom got shitfaced and started berating me for something. This time, it was for missing a therapy appointment. Not only am I unable to drive, it was her appointment. For her alcoholism. FML

#20664501
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42585) - you deserved it (2449)

On 05/15/2013 at 2:21am - health - by the only sober one (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my new neighbor moved in. Because she was fairly young, I offered to mow her grass whenever it needed cut. Her dad then tried to start a fight with me because he thought it was sexual come-on. FML

#20663640
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38342) - you deserved it (6443)

On 05/14/2013 at 7:52pm - misc - by Brenden - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up without my fiancé in bed next to me, but I assumed he'd gone to work early. I went on Facebook to find that he had posted a break-up post to himself from my account and set my status to single. I then found a note with "Sorry" written on it stuck to the kitchen counter. FML

#20663501
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52690) - you deserved it (3223)

On 05/14/2013 at 6:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my 55 year-old mother faked a pregnancy because she was jealous of all the attention I've been getting since I had my twin boys. FML

#20663345
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45582) - you deserved it (2614)

On 05/14/2013 at 5:35pm - misc - by for the love of god (woman) - United States

Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML

#20663182
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41832) - you deserved it (4060)

On 05/14/2013 at 4:09pm - health - by DrewK (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML

#20663152
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41939) - you deserved it (4684)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:52pm - love - by wellokaythen (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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