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jr5480

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jr5480

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 10 April 1984 (30 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 976
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jr5480's page activity

Visits<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 12:42am

jr5480's FML badges

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jr5480's favorite FMLs

Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML

#7143279
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36613) - you deserved it (2735)

On 01/04/2010 at 8:34am - health - by Soresack (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

#7139059
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27027) - you deserved it (6761)

On 01/04/2010 at 1:43am - health - by sadface (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I witnessed my drunk grandmother attempting the Single Ladies dance, complete with hip gyrations and ass slapping. FML

#7125944
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29775) - you deserved it (3333)

On 01/03/2010 at 1:06pm - misc - by ohdear (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, I handed my friend a $50. I paid her to take care of my farm on Farmville, feed my fish on Fishville, and flip my burgers on Cafe World, while I went on vacation for a week. FML

#7122357
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9443) - you deserved it (60429)

On 01/03/2010 at 7:00am - misc - by loser (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had a blind date. When I arrived at our meeting place, I spotted my date, because he was the only one in the bar wearing a nametag. I walked up to him and asked, "Are you John?" He responded, "That depends. Are you Jen?" When I said yes he said, "Then no," and left. FML

#7056556
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35028) - you deserved it (3421)

On 12/31/2009 at 12:33pm - love - by lifesux (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 7 year old looks at me and states, "When I grow up Mommy I want to be fat just like you." FML

#7050421
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25217) - you deserved it (10122)

On 12/31/2009 at 2:39am - kids - by Missyangel (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML

#4636801
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58359) - you deserved it (11693)

On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at the mall with my little brother. I saw him touching some expensive objects, so I slapped his arm. I noticed he wasn't my brother when he started crying and his real mom slapped me in the face. FML

#4402350
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14222) - you deserved it (51057)

On 08/09/2009 at 3:28am - kids - by mochiko (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I walked out to my car to see a broken window, a bunch of stuff missing, egg shells, and a note that read "stop banging my boyfriend". I haven't had anyone in over a year. FML

#4325647
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55762) - you deserved it (2707)

On 08/06/2009 at 1:28am - love - by gkline09 - United States

Today, I was trying on some shoes when I felt the heels break underneath me. Not only did they cost two paychecks worth, but as I was leaving I heard the sales girl say that "we really should have a weight limit for who can try on our products." FML

#4122629
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40570) - you deserved it (18382)

On 07/29/2009 at 12:03am - money - by BigFoot (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
819 comments

I agree, your life sucks (123104) - you deserved it (75481)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML

#1046980
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90967) - you deserved it (7404)

On 04/17/2009 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I performed in my school play. Right before my big solo, I noticed a few girls changing backstage and I became aroused. The play was Jesus Christ Superstar, and I was playing Jesus. All I was wearing was a little cloth, so the whole audience saw Jesus get hard during the crucifixion. FML

#981592
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95378) - you deserved it (39013)

On 04/14/2009 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by jizzlemonster13 (man) - United States (New York)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

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  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

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