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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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jr5480

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jr5480
  • Town/Country : NAS LEMOORE, US
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 9 April 1984 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 404
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jr5480's favorite FMLs

Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML

#7143279 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (28646) - you deserved it (1892)

On 01/04/2010 at 8:34am - health - by Soresack (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

#7139059 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (19375) - you deserved it (4836)

On 01/04/2010 at 1:43am - health - by sadface (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I witnessed my drunk grandmother attempting the Single Ladies dance, complete with hip gyrations and ass slapping. FML

#7125944 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (21321) - you deserved it (2272)

On 01/03/2010 at 1:06pm - misc - by ohdear (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, I handed my friend a $50. I paid her to take care of my farm on Farmville, feed my fish on Fishville, and flip my burgers on Cafe World, while I went on vacation for a week. FML

#7122357 (212)

I agree, your life sucks (6905) - you deserved it (42770)

On 01/03/2010 at 7:00am - misc - by loser (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had a blind date. When I arrived at our meeting place, I spotted my date, because he was the only one in the bar wearing a nametag. I walked up to him and asked, "Are you John?" He responded, "That depends. Are you Jen?" When I said yes he said, "Then no," and left. FML

#7056556 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (26402) - you deserved it (2338)

On 12/31/2009 at 12:33pm - love - by lifesux (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 7 year old looks at me and states, "When I grow up Mommy I want to be fat just like you." FML

#7050421 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (18402) - you deserved it (7521)

On 12/31/2009 at 2:39am - kids - by Missyangel (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML

#4636801 (286)

I agree, your life sucks (48198) - you deserved it (8639)

On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at the mall with my little brother. I saw him touching some expensive objects, so I slapped his arm. I noticed he wasn't my brother when he started crying and his real mom slapped me in the face. FML

#4402350 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (9863) - you deserved it (35739)

On 08/09/2009 at 3:28am - kids - by mochiko (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I walked out to my car to see a broken window, a bunch of stuff missing, egg shells, and a note that read "stop banging my boyfriend". I haven't had anyone in over a year. FML

#4325647 (79)

I agree, your life sucks (46694) - you deserved it (1794)

On 08/06/2009 at 1:28am - love - by gkline09 - United States

Today, I was picking my daughter up at day care. She was outside playing kick ball. A red ball rolls over to me, and trying to impress the kids, I kicked it over the slide. I turn around to see three crying six year olds. It was their hamster ball. FML

#4308181 (309)

I agree, your life sucks (21849) - you deserved it (59838)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was trying on some shoes when I felt the heels break underneath me. Not only did they cost two paychecks worth, but as I was leaving I heard the sales girl say that "we really should have a weight limit for who can try on our products." FML

#4122629 (241)

I agree, your life sucks (32642) - you deserved it (12983)

On 07/29/2009 at 12:03am - money - by BigFoot (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

#3146320 (459)

I agree, your life sucks (137060) - you deserved it (19618)

On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494 (859)

I agree, your life sucks (85939) - you deserved it (50905)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML

#1046980 (232)

I agree, your life sucks (76521) - you deserved it (5388)

On 04/17/2009 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I performed in my school play. Right before my big solo, I noticed a few girls changing backstage and I became aroused. The play was Jesus Christ Superstar, and I was playing Jesus. All I was wearing was a little cloth, so the whole audience saw Jesus get hard during the crucifixion. FML

#981592 (250)

I agree, your life sucks (77394) - you deserved it (28876)

On 04/14/2009 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by jizzlemonster13 (man) - United States (New York)