Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jpkehoe

Search for a member

jpkehoe

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 136
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

jpkehoe's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of jpkehoe's badges

jpkehoe's favorite FMLs

Today, my cousin started sending sarcastic love messages to me. I replied, with even cheesier lines. Then she rang me saying she was so glad I felt the same way. Turns out she wasn't being sarcastic. FML

#20991120
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49136) - you deserved it (8483)

On 12/13/2013 at 10:10am - love - by wth? - United Kingdom (Rotherham)

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old son to the hospital. He'd gone out dressed as some My Little Pony character and encountered someone who'd had the same idea. They then got into a fistfight, and my son got the shit beaten out of him. I wish I'd never bred. FML

#20940283
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41729) - you deserved it (8759)

On 10/31/2013 at 2:27pm - kids - by anna (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML

#20895842
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51321) - you deserved it (6288)

On 09/25/2013 at 5:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my online order arrived earlier than I expected. I opened it to find some kind of anal sex toy. Whoever this is for is going to be disappointed when they get my 3DS game. FML

#20894309
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38225) - you deserved it (2616)

On 09/24/2013 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to explain to my brother why it's not OK to stick his knob in the toaster. FML

#20893446
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38176) - you deserved it (2925)

On 09/23/2013 at 8:05pm - kids - by latter - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was playing World of Warcraft, when all of a sudden, I remembered I was supposed to be at a wedding. I was 25 minutes late to my own wedding. FML

#20880446
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22164) - you deserved it (89021)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my cousin decided it would be fun to get drunk before my wedding. During the ceremony, he got up on the stage and tried to do a stage dive into the crowd. He landed on my nephew and broke his arm. FML

Today, I went on a blind date that my friends set up. Not only did my date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins. When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered "Fuck it" and left. FML

#20806263
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44048) - you deserved it (3572)

On 07/27/2013 at 12:30pm - love - by Anonycunt (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my boyfriend got angry because I laughed when he asked me if he should retire from being a Pokemon Trainer. He was serious. He's also 21. FML

#20798065
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37811) - you deserved it (10380)

On 07/22/2013 at 6:14pm - love - by ihatepokemon (woman) - United States

Today, my cousin thought it would be cool to put a firecracker in an abandoned birdhouse. Before I could tell him not to, it exploded and about 30 wasps came after me like the wrath of God. FML

#20749556
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48672) - you deserved it (4601)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:27am - animals - by EpicJman2828 (man) - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54974) - you deserved it (64086)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my cousin thought it would be funny to make copies of my house keys and give it to random people on the street. I live alone and work a 12 hour shift daily. FML

#20657611
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50243) - you deserved it (3193)

On 05/12/2013 at 12:09am - misc - by Baikal - Singapore

Today, I had to share my room with my cousin while she stayed over. I let her take my bed while I slept on the floor. Not only do my back and neck hurt, but I had to clean vomit out of my hair. Apparently, she "wasn't feeling well" last night. FML

#20640612
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47654) - you deserved it (4133)

On 05/04/2013 at 9:32am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a guy professed his love for me in front of my friends. The guy is my first cousin. FML

#20414731
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37907) - you deserved it (3074)

On 12/22/2012 at 9:33pm - love - by Brittany (woman) - United States

Today, I was watching TV with my grandma. I said aloud, "Dang, that actor is hot." My grandma pointed out he was a spitting image of my cousin. I realized she was right, and that I may as well be attracted to my own cousin. FML

#20072880
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17816) - you deserved it (3227)

On 09/15/2012 at 12:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: