josiem

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Offline (the 11/22/2015 at 3:20am)

josiem

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2067
  • Number of comments : 67
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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josiem's page activity

Visits<b>jlmartin411</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 2:05pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 7:10pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 9:21pm<b>SingingFarmGirl</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 3:34pm<b>xDochx</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 11:33pm<b>MrsKent123</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 11:58am<b>testtest2</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 10:52am<b>grogers311</b> - the 06/01/2013 at 8:30am<b>hippodamia</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 11:16pm<b>waterboy14</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 6:41am<b>ireynkc</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 4:29am<b>KVKdragon</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 4:25am<b>PhotoSmith</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 3:47am<b>MGITSWFTC</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 11:16pm<b>jeffandjeff</b> - the 04/23/2013 at 3:02pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 7:27pm<b>Ergayles</b> - the 04/08/2013 at 12:24am

josiem's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of josiem's badges

josiem's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML

by sucks / 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my mom told my boyfriend all about how she had to be a parent volunteer when I was in kindergarten. Apparently I used to masturbate in class by rubbing myself against the edges of chairs and tables. The teacher thought it would be best if my mom was there to make me stop. FML

by Noname / 03/12/2009 at 7:24am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

by SpiderMan / 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I tried to prove to my dad that he snores by secretly putting a tape recorder under his bed. I soon found out my parents had sex that night. Apparently, my mom likes to talk dirty. FML

by Zack / 03/11/2009 at 2:57pm / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Intimacy

Today, a man on the train asked me if i had any change. I quickly responded with "no habla engles". He then tapped me on the shoulder and said "That would've been a lot more believable if you weren't reading that paper." FML

by nthor / 03/11/2009 at 2:05pm / United States (New York) / Money

Today, me and my boyfriend had some crazy rough sex. In the process I ended up with huge bruises and bite marks all over my neck and chest. I'm giving a speech on domestic violence today. FML

by Noname / 03/10/2009 at 2:52pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I was at work and a very obese woman came in to get a pedicure. When she took her shoes off I noticed an odd black substance on her feet. I started scrubbing it off and wondered out loud, "What IS this stuff??" As a chunk of it fell onto my lip, she replied, "Girl, that's just the fungus." FML

by SalonGirl / 03/10/2009 at 7:55am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I had to run to catch my train, so I didn't get the chance to buy a ticket. When the conductor was in sight, I saw he was a young man and I opened my top a little, in hopes of not having to pay a fine. When I told him I didn't buy a ticket he said: "Close your top, I'm gay". FML

by Mulee / 03/07/2009 at 7:03am / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

by Girl123999 / 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. Being the stud that I am, after a short time I turned to her and said "You think you're ready for a round two?" She replied "No, but I do think I'm ready for the rest of round one." FML

by saddude / 03/04/2009 at 2:03am / United States (District of Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking down the street when a homeless man asked me for some spare change. I told him I didn't have any. I then tripped. Not only spilling the soda I was drinking all over myself, but also spilling the spare change I had from buying it. FML

by hlev24 / 03/02/2009 at 7:11pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Money