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josh7279

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josh7279

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  • Number of visits : 533
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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josh7279's page activity

Visits<b>jseid2</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 3:01pm<b>thatoneguy2a</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 2:27am<b>stayuptodream</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 6:16am<b>Darkreign333</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 4:46pm<b>fliz</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 3:34pm<b>notsick</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 11:08pm<b>NiamhMcA</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 7:59am<b>iammeorami</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 12:45pm<b>bbaxter2000</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 1:49pm<b>Tika876</b> - the 07/02/2013 at 1:38pm<b>Pixl8</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 11:02pm<b>jaydenl_9</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 1:11am<b>demass</b> - the 03/26/2013 at 6:26pm

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josh7279's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out first-hand that the most horrifying sight you can ever witness is two morbidly obese people getting nasty with each other in a dance club's run-down, public restroom. FML

#21316146
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28274) - you deserved it (4093)

On 12/12/2014 at 11:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, my boyfriend and I were planning on having sex. He first excused himself to the bathroom, then returned with a sad face saying he had fumbled with himself in the bathroom to get "ready" and accidentally came. He said, "I was thinking of you though." FML

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39178) - you deserved it (9900)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom told me my relationship is a joke, because teenagers don't understand the meaning of relationships and commitment. I couldn't help but remind her how she's divorced three separate men to date. She hit me over the head so hard that snot flew out of my nose. FML

#21213268
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53189) - you deserved it (10130)

On 07/18/2014 at 7:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I ran into a good friend at work. I work at a jail. She doesn't. FML

#21211411
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51370) - you deserved it (4207)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:51pm - misc - by Is that..? - United States (Colorado)

Today, while driving home, some idiot kept tailgating me, so I slowed down, hoping he'd overtake me. He didn't, so I pulled to the side of the road. He did the same, in front of me. He kept toying with me until I crashed into another car trying to speed away from him. FML

#21149457
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42876) - you deserved it (14248)

On 05/23/2014 at 6:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend, who was driving down the highway with the windows down. All of a sudden, everything went black. A cattle truck had sped past, and I had been hit by cow faeces travelling at 110km an hour. My boyfriend was hysterical. None of it hit him. FML

#21127873
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49531) - you deserved it (4523)

On 05/01/2014 at 10:17am - animals - by Felicityfrank (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

#21059471
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46433) - you deserved it (6560)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey on my breast. To be fair I decided to give him a hickey on his chest. He was so worried about catching shit from the guys on his swim team that he dislocated my jaw trying to get me off him. FML

Today, after years of insomnia and going to doctors to help get a regular sleeping pattern, I finally fell asleep without the help of medication, only to dream about being chased by an angry seal and singing to Rihanna with a horse. This is probably why I don't sleep. FML

#21049132
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41875) - you deserved it (3875)

On 02/03/2014 at 8:29am - health - by Sleepless (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while in the prison I work at, I came down with severe digestion issues. Master control probably laughed as they watched me wait at the security gates in a cold sweat, squeezing my ass-cheeks together like an inmate smuggling contraband. FML

#21047394
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39154) - you deserved it (4000)

On 02/01/2014 at 5:42pm - work - by TwistedCherub1 (woman) - United States

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

#21044971
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49853) - you deserved it (6246)

On 01/30/2014 at 7:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML

#21010264
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45077) - you deserved it (23455)

On 12/30/2013 at 7:10am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I received a poorly-written letter from my asshole neighbor in which he threatened to "sew" me because my dog shat on his lawn again. I went over, asked if he needed some wool for his sewing, and told him to stop being an idiot. Now he's apparently hiring a lawyer for real. FML

#20981890
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39135) - you deserved it (21748)

On 12/05/2013 at 5:26pm - misc - by possibly a sweater (man) - United States (Texas)



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