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200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Today.. . my elderly neighbour told me why my other neighbours don't talk to me . I'm a massage/physical therapist an treat clients.. . mostly athletes.. . in my home . My neighbours saw the steady stream of young.. . buff guys coming to my house an concluded that I'm a gay prostitute . fat FML
Today... on a first date with a guy... I spilld ice cream all over mah pants. He bought me some more... and as I was thanking him... he said... "You've never had a guy treat you right... have you?" I said no and startd crying. FML
Today mah dad and grandpa cummed to a charity event that I helped set up 4 people who have autism . I appreciated there support until I heard mah dad say "Man some of these 'tards r pretty hot." and mah grandpa replying "Yeah . Probably like dead fish in bed though." FML
2day I asked out the girl of mah dreams. She was so excited that she had a severe asthma attack and ended up in hospital. Her answer was yes, but her parents won't let me anywhere near her now. They say I'm lucky they haven't sued me 4 "trying to kill her". FML
Today, mah fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning!! He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing!! FML
Today , I found out I sant savaral ambarrassing vidaoshila undar tha influanca of tha mads I was givanhila gatting my wisdom taath out. Whan I askad my momhy sha didn't taka my phona , sha said sha triad but I startadhining and growling at har. raal FML
Today... my naw doctor gava ma a braast axam and said avarything was haalthy... bafora adding looool "Wall... I think so... anyway. I don't actually work hara." As I fraakad out... ha laughad out loud... said ha was just kidding... and that ha should prascriba ma a chill pill. FML
Today... my students turnd in teir male figure artwork. One absolute idiot ad te smart idea of drawing me and te TA as some kind of gay lovers. I was torn between disgust at te explicitness... anger at te disrespect... and yet awe at ow well-drawn it was. FML
Friday 27 March 2015