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jordynnann

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jordynnann

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  • Number of visits : 196
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jordynnann's page activity

Visits<b>christian_novoa</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 1:54am

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jordynnann's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through my birthday card. FML

#20871364
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61439) - you deserved it (3583)

On 09/07/2013 at 12:08pm - love - by brycepetrillo - United States (Florida)

Today, my best friend confessed to me that she's a lesbian. She quickly added, "Oh, don't worry, I don't like you. You're not attractive." FML

#20871260
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51208) - you deserved it (4368)

On 09/07/2013 at 10:17am - misc - by ...thanks (woman) - United States

Today, I found out my kids only remember my birthday because it's the password on the iPad. FML

#20871062
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41663) - you deserved it (5182)

On 09/07/2013 at 4:22am - kids - by Sean - United States (California)

Today, a week after my dad discovered Family Guy and started mindlessly repeating catchphrases from it 24/7, I finally lost my temper and told him how incredibly annoying it is. He just paused, turned to look me in the eyes, and said, "Shut up, Meg." FML

#20870528
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51604) - you deserved it (18784)

On 09/06/2013 at 6:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my neighbour was practicing his opera singing, drunk. FML

#20869663
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32108) - you deserved it (2957)

On 09/05/2013 at 11:27pm - misc - by Thesuz - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML

#20867818
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45248) - you deserved it (3069)

On 09/04/2013 at 6:46pm - work - by dear god help me. - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

#20866525
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23131) - you deserved it (36610)

On 09/03/2013 at 7:53pm - health - by ugh - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to calm my hallucinating mom after she accidentally overdosed on one of her pills, then spend ages trying to protect her from the "monkey" on the wall. FML

#20866110
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37449) - you deserved it (2358)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:04pm - misc - by D - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend got offered a job at Abercrombie. The first thing he asked was "they only hire hot people, right?!" Now he won't stop telling me how lucky I am to be with such a hot guy. FML

Today, I was at the doctor's getting a check up. He asked me if I was allergic to anything, to which I blurted out, "Cats." He gave me a weird look and said, "Don't worry, I won't give you cats." FML

#20865755
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40123) - you deserved it (6615)

On 09/03/2013 at 4:17am - health - by NoNotCats =^._.^= (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I announced my third pregnancy to my family. My dad's only reaction was to scoff, "Really? Stop breeding already." FML

#20780277
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43441) - you deserved it (14365)

On 07/13/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when a girl came out of nowhere, screaming at me for cheating on her, and saying she was dumping me. I've never seen her before, and she was almost grinning during her little act, but my girlfriend believed it, and I'm now single. FML

#20779978
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64318) - you deserved it (3726)

On 07/13/2013 at 1:33pm - love - by fuckingtrollingskankwhoreshitwankcuntfuck (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

#20779714
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51251) - you deserved it (4232)

On 07/13/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by speechless - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was doing a demonstration in front of my taekwondo class because I'm flexible. Really flexible. I kneed myself in the face and broke my nose. FML

#20779010
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40870) - you deserved it (9852)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:37am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML

#20778979
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63606) - you deserved it (4750)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:22am - love - by Stacy (woman) - United States



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