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jordi55

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jordi55

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3537
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jordi55's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of jordi55's badges

jordi55's favorite FMLs

­Today, my dog decided to fly through the front door like Superman. All 180lbs of her promptly slammed sideways into the wall, putting a dog-sized hole in the plaster. FML

#15726248
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27088) - you deserved it (3538)

On 04/10/2011 at 3:32pm - animals - by a man - United States (Tennessee)

Today, after three days of hospital camping with my very sick husband, he was finally out of danger when I left last night to get my first good night's sleep in almost 96 hours. He woke me at 5 a.m. with a phone call asking me to bring him comic books because he's bored. FML

#15721476
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24674) - you deserved it (10451)

On 04/10/2011 at 6:59am - health - by Frazzled (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML

#15718627
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19331) - you deserved it (66023)

On 04/10/2011 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my dog was barking at a squirrel in the yard. I opened the door to let him chase the squirrel. I went to look at the dead squirrel and found out it was the neighbor's chihuahua. FML

#15714709
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22281) - you deserved it (37930)

On 04/09/2011 at 8:58pm - animals - by Sid (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to call AAA because not only did I lock my keys in the car, I also locked in my toddlers. FML

#15710097
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13538) - you deserved it (42677)

On 04/09/2011 at 2:37pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, when I picked up my repeat subscription of anti-anxiety medication, they had changed the packaging to be more 'child safe'. Now it's so hard to get the pills out that I had an anxiety attack trying to take one. FML

#15706489
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29803) - you deserved it (7215)

On 04/09/2011 at 8:53am - health - by VoiceMail (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was looking in my grandparents' drawers and cupboards to find a blanket, but instead found a stash of sex toys, and a male G-string with a horse on the front. The best bit? When you press the horse's nose, it neighs. FML

#15703960
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39414) - you deserved it (9256)

On 04/09/2011 at 1:46am - intimacy - by fuundmental/// - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, it was sunny and bright so I woke up feeling great. I pulled back the curtains in my room and saw my cat dead on the lawn. FML

#15676274
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43844) - you deserved it (3686)

On 04/07/2011 at 3:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I sprained my sternum in my rugby match. I now can't yell, laugh, cough, inhale or exhale fully, or sneeze without a sharp pain shooting through my chest. I have a pollen allergy, and sneeze every 5 or 10 minutes. FML

#15674369
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38223) - you deserved it (3776)

On 04/07/2011 at 12:17am - health - by ouchiee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my mother I have a girlfriend. Her first answer was "Does she know?" FML

#15655514
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36831) - you deserved it (4814)

On 04/05/2011 at 8:00pm - misc - by notacreeper -

Today, I spent six hours driving between two airports to try and catch my flight. Two trailer accidents, two construction zones, three detours, and one police escort later, the airline wouldn't let me on the plane. FML

#15651361
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33584) - you deserved it (3107)

On 04/05/2011 at 2:13pm - money - by anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my 3 year old daughter decided to put black nail polish over the webcam lens on my laptop because "It wasn't all black, so I decided to fix it." FML

#15650612
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31059) - you deserved it (5457)

On 04/05/2011 at 12:48pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that our neighbors told almost everyone on our street that I was mentally handicapped. All this time I wasn't sure why they would speak slowly and loudly at me. Now they won't believe me when I tell them I'm a 4.0 GPA student. FML

#15650544
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33232) - you deserved it (3246)

On 04/05/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by Imslow (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at a band concert with 500 other people. The song they were performing stopped, and I loved it so much I stood up and clapped. Everyone stared, while I slowly realized the song wasn't over. FML

#15649522
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12214) - you deserved it (32109)

On 04/05/2011 at 10:06am - misc - by RedFace (woman) - United States

Today, I told my boss I was too sick to come to work. He asked if I had a late night so I told him I stayed in. Apparently I ran into him at a bar last night and was too drunk to remember it. FML

#15647734
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8901) - you deserved it (51961)

On 04/05/2011 at 3:30am - work - by randa -



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