Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jordi55

Offline (4 hours ago) | Search for a member

jordi55

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 August 1955 (59 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4070
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

jordi55's page activity

Visits<b>child_of_3_girls</b> - 15 hours ago<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 2:31pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 8:10am<b>ilovefood17</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 10:47pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 5:27am<b>Lesser</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 1:39am<b>annarcheer</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 3:00pm<b>Steffi3</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 11:53am<b>AngelOf_Darkness</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 1:39pm<b>Drosophila82</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 9:28am<b>rlovetx</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 5:10am<b>PaigeLeeAnn11</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 5:57pm<b>qdawg06</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 1:56pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 10:04am<b>alfonze07</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 9:59am<b>KatieKoala</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 3:50am<b>royr7395</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 7:50am<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 11:22pm

Fucked!<b>KatieKoala</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 9:50am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 3:58pm<b>Purexinsanity</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 7:10pm

jordi55's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of jordi55's badges

jordi55's favorite FMLs

Today, I came out to my parents. They nodded empathetically throughout my entire speech and told me repeatedly that it was okay. As I smiled and stood up, my dad asked, "But you're still going to marry a guy, right?" FML

#15767181
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39846) - you deserved it (7681)

On 04/13/2011 at 6:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML

#15762337
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18839) - you deserved it (38218)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm - animals - by Anonymous -

Today, at 6am I was waiting for the tram to go home from my late night job. A homeless man came up to me and offered to buy me a beer because "guys like us have to stick together." FML

#15754863
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30262) - you deserved it (4507)

On 04/12/2011 at 12:02pm - misc - by ihaveahome (man) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, I wore a Stanford college T-shirt to school. My Spanish teacher took one look at it and said "You wish". FML

#15752266
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34703) - you deserved it (7827)

On 04/12/2011 at 6:09am - misc - by anon -

Today, my girlfriend chose the most expensive restaurant in town, then spent the entire time facebooking, texting, and playing games on her phone while I dined in silence. This is the second time we've been out this week. She didn't even eat her food. I didn't even get a thank you. FML

#15749672
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55668) - you deserved it (14031)

On 04/12/2011 at 12:27am - love - by BrokeAndPsst (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I've been on the same train for two hours at a standstill due to "signal problems". We can't get off because it's "unsafe". I'm on my way home from work and I can see my house through the window. FML

#15741918
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42273) - you deserved it (2940)

On 04/11/2011 at 4:07pm - misc - by bananaman - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was robbed. They took my father's ashes. FML

#15741508
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97860) - you deserved it (5026)

On 04/11/2011 at 3:29pm - misc - by stolen - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. My usually detached and unromantic boyfriend rushed right over after work with flowers and movies. A little while later, he admitted excitedly that he'd heard the numbing medication also works on gag reflexes and wanted to test the theory. FML

#15741479
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45623) - you deserved it (6528)

On 04/11/2011 at 3:27pm - intimacy - by Numb (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend actually remembered our anniversary. Not our anniversary of being together, which he forgot last month, but the anniversary of him getting his first blow job from me. FML

#15733743
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40726) - you deserved it (8793)

On 04/11/2011 at 12:01am - intimacy - by blower - United States (Colorado)

­Today, my dog decided to fly through the front door like Superman. All 180lbs of her promptly slammed sideways into the wall, putting a dog-sized hole in the plaster. FML

#15726248
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27181) - you deserved it (3544)

On 04/10/2011 at 3:32pm - animals - by a man - United States (Tennessee)

Today, after three days of hospital camping with my very sick husband, he was finally out of danger when I left last night to get my first good night's sleep in almost 96 hours. He woke me at 5 a.m. with a phone call asking me to bring him comic books because he's bored. FML

#15721476
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24777) - you deserved it (10459)

On 04/10/2011 at 6:59am - health - by Frazzled (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML

#15718627
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20285) - you deserved it (66066)

On 04/10/2011 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my dog was barking at a squirrel in the yard. I opened the door to let him chase the squirrel. I went to look at the dead squirrel and found out it was the neighbor's chihuahua. FML

#15714709
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22339) - you deserved it (37992)

On 04/09/2011 at 8:58pm - animals - by Sid (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to call AAA because not only did I lock my keys in the car, I also locked in my toddlers. FML

#15710097
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13557) - you deserved it (42764)

On 04/09/2011 at 2:37pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, when I picked up my repeat subscription of anti-anxiety medication, they had changed the packaging to be more 'child safe'. Now it's so hard to get the pills out that I had an anxiety attack trying to take one. FML

#15706489
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31889) - you deserved it (7456)

On 04/09/2011 at 8:53am - health - by VoiceMail (man) - Australia (Queensland)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: