About jordan713 : I love boxers, and black cats :)
jordan713's FML badges
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
jordan713's favorite FMLs
by . / 10/16/2013 at 5:05pm / United States / Money
Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML
by Anonymous / 10/14/2013 at 3:13am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by Kat_Styles / 07/19/2013 at 4:51am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, while getting ready for a friend's wedding, I was curling my eyelashes. My cat decided to jump onto the towel rod. As I went to catch her, I ripped all the eyelashes out of one eye. I called my boyfriend crying. When he saw me, he laughed and said, "You look really surprised in that eye." FML
by lashless / 05/22/2010 at 4:32pm / United States (Colorado) / Animals
Today, I realized that my girlfriend had never said anything about the proposal ring I had put into a box of her Froot Loops. When I hinted it to her, she said that the cereal had expired, so she threw out the box. FML
by frootloops / 11/21/2009 at 4:44pm / United States (New York) / Love
- « Previous page
- Next page »
- Today, after getting my husband off before bed, he decided he wasn't going to get me off tho I was… Today, I was pissing liquid out of my rear for what seemed like an eternity. In the wrong bathroom.… Today, my computer class teacher checked on me as I had my email open. He commented, "you've got a…