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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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joojoo

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joojoo
  • Town/Country : New York, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 18 April 1986 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 5958
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About joojoo : blah blah blah

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joojoo's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom when randomly turned to me and said: "You know, you're the kind of person that has to change literally everything about themselves to get a guy to like you." I thought she was joking so I laughed. She then said "Like that. Your laugh... What is that? Change that." FML

#3587785 (204)

I agree, your life sucks (54150) - you deserved it (3307)

On 07/08/2009 at 5:43pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, a woman came up to the counter and asked if we made sweet and sour chicken. Before I could answer, she told me a really long recipe and said "I expect to see this on the menu next time I come in, or I will complain to the manager about your lousy work ethic". I work at Starbucks. FML

#3495649 (319)

I agree, your life sucks (56286) - you deserved it (2492)

On 07/05/2009 at 1:21am - work - by Barista (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML

#3268493 (298)

I agree, your life sucks (88398) - you deserved it (5295)

On 06/27/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan

Today, I went to announce to my son that I am pregnant again. After I told him, he looks up and yells: "fuck this shit!" and walks out of the room. My son is nine years old. FML

#3261545 (235)

I agree, your life sucks (50766) - you deserved it (18617)

On 06/27/2009 at 12:05am - kids - by poormom (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told my dad I was going to Walgreens and asked if he needed anything. He needed condoms, and that I should call him when I get there so he can explain the kind he likes. FML

#3113124 (92)

I agree, your life sucks (53819) - you deserved it (3578)

On 06/22/2009 at 5:03am - intimacy - by fml (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went out to dinner with my brother. There was a very attractive man sitting a few tables away who kept glancing at me. When my brother excused himself to the bathroom, the man worked up the courage to come over and introduce himself to me. He asked me if my brother was single. FML

#3104897 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (51359) - you deserved it (3241)

On 06/21/2009 at 10:45pm - intimacy - by Kat (woman) - United States

Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML

#2699534 (162)

I agree, your life sucks (88922) - you deserved it (3805)

On 06/07/2009 at 7:15pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I discovered my boyfriend of 5 months runs a website where men can submit nude or semi nude pictures of their ex's for revenge. FML

#2658374 (301)

I agree, your life sucks (52602) - you deserved it (3474)

On 06/06/2009 at 12:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I saw the following message on my Facebook News Feed: "Morning Sex: [My mom] and [My dad] are fans. Click here to Join" FML

#2498639 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (65713) - you deserved it (3875)

On 06/01/2009 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by crazystuff23 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a chinese restaurant with my asian girlfriend. When she went into the bathroom I practiced saying "Can we have sex" in chinese which is where she is from. After saying it a few times out loud, a waiter walked by and stared at me. When he gave me the check he included his number. FML

#2189119 (246)

I agree, your life sucks (16702) - you deserved it (48634)

On 05/22/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, we were visiting my great-grandma, who has Alzheimer’s. We spent most of the day with her and she didn't know who we all were. Time came for us to leave so when I gave her a hug good-bye, she whispered into my ear, "You're my type." FML

#2067937 (166)

I agree, your life sucks (60656) - you deserved it (2411)

On 05/18/2009 at 11:29pm - love - by KarlwithaK (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML

#2059220 (214)

I agree, your life sucks (58405) - you deserved it (1881)

On 05/18/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by emoney (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying 'I'm good' or "I'm okay", I said "I'm gay". FML

#1972272 (189)

I agree, your life sucks (49951) - you deserved it (17807)

On 05/16/2009 at 5:13am - misc - by UncleRory (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while working as a makeup artist in the mall, I was approached by a man who wanted to try lipstick (not unusual we do a lot of drag). While I'm applying it he starts to make gross noises and after a quick glance I realize he has a massive erection. He then whispers mmmm don't stop now. FML

#1745966 (162)

I agree, your life sucks (63471) - you deserved it (2591)

On 05/08/2009 at 10:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML

#1683242 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (49035) - you deserved it (14883)

On 05/06/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)