jonzeyswoman

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jonzeyswoman

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 June 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 64
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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jonzeyswoman's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jonzeyswoman's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked out of my apartment to see that someone had climbed onto the hood of my car and taken a shit on my windshield. I only moved in a couple of weeks ago. FML

by poopsthegame / 12/03/2012 at 2:36am / United States (Hawaii) / Transportation

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

by Danny / 01/07/2012 at 5:27am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me, when I heard my dog start growling. He must have thought my girlfriend was hurting me, because out of nowhere and before I could do anything, he attacked her. FML

by ohsnap / 01/22/2011 at 4:24pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my four year old daughter pulled her pants down in the middle of Best Buy. Apparently, you can smell the farts better when they don't have to pass through clothing. FML

by Username / 10/04/2010 at 1:48am / Kids

Today, while eating a Subway sandwich, I was watching a comedian on TV. As he said his signature line, I laughed hysterically and accidentally snorted a jalapeño into my nose. I spent the next 5 minutes trying to snort out the little piece that got lodged into my nostril. FML

by zombielover1 / 07/13/2009 at 2:17am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found an old dress in my house laying around. I decided to dye it green to wear it out on St. Patrick's day. Turns out it was my grandmother's wedding dress that my sister was planning to wear for her wedding. FML

by Noname / 03/16/2009 at 1:29pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous