jonseydear

Search for a member

Offline (the 03/21/2016 at 6:49am)

jonseydear

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 129
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

jonseydear's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of jonseydear's badges

jonseydear's favorite FMLs

Today, I lost a bet with my grandma, and now she's coming with me on my next date. FML

by Anonymous / 01/07/2014 at 11:21pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I saw my dad's friend across the street working on my neighbor's roof. To continue the airsoft war we'd been having I shot at him with the sniper gun I bought. I hit him, and he fell off the roof. I ran over to see if he was ok. It wasn't my dad's friend. FML

by FailedSniper / 03/22/2011 at 12:31pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I called a wrong number. Calling back the right person, I began a long story about how I'd just called the wrong number. It was the wrong number lady again. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2011 at 8:38am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad was stupid enough to think that the kitchen sink is a good place to clean a gas tank. Now, the whole house smells of gas fumes and I'm about to pass out. FML

by shakyhands / 03/21/2011 at 10:48pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I posted an event to have a get together with friends. Most of them put "not attending". I hadn't even set the date. FML

by lonely / 03/21/2011 at 3:15pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I am taking a 16 hour flight. Five minutes in, the lady on one side has clipped her toenails onto me and the guy on the other side has the most horrific gas I have ever smelled. To help this problem he bought a cheese plate from the stewardess. 15 hours and 55 minutes to go. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 2:36pm / United States (Georgia) / Transportation

Today, I called my mom to tell her that I'm coming over for a visit. She answered: 'Why? What do you need? Food? Money? I'm not going to help you! You're a grown woman!' And she hung up. I just found out that I'm pregnant and she was the first person I wanted to share it with. FML

by kelly / 03/21/2011 at 3:07am / Estonia (Harjumaa) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend was buying a new hockey stick; to test it out he started hitting a ball around the aisle and decided to shoot it back into its bin. Instead the ball hit me dead in the mouth, giving me a fat lip. Instead of consoling me, my boyfriend yelled "GOAL!" FML

by Anonymous / 03/20/2011 at 11:34pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I called the car repair shop to complain to the manager about their tow driver who keeps making sexual passes at me. The girl taking my call started crying and said that their driver was her husband. I'm being sexually harassed, my car is dead, and I think I just ended a marriage. FML

by WhyMe / 03/20/2011 at 1:42pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try cybersex, because we rarely see each other these days. We only used text. Halfway through, I noticed that she started being more demanding. As it turns out, my girlfriend had left the room and her older brother had walked in and taken over. FML

by Anon / 12/05/2009 at 9:19am / United Kingdom (Leicester) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking to the parking lot from class while texting. When I looked up as I approached my parking spot, I noticed the words "F*ck you Dave" keyed into my car. Hi, my name is Clare. Who's Dave? FML

by mynameis / 11/13/2009 at 1:35am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous