jonsboo

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jonsboo

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 December 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 434
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jonsboo : I love you Papa Bear:)

jonsboo's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of jonsboo's badges

jonsboo's favorite FMLs

Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML

by Emily / 12/05/2012 at 12:55pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I got into a car accident. The guy wouldn't give me his information, but instead stood there saying, "Like a good neighbor, Statefarm is there." FML

by Read The Fine Print / 11/24/2012 at 12:55am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down laughing uncontrollably. FML

by radioinvader / 10/28/2012 at 8:29am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I realized that my five-year-old daughters are deranged psychopaths, when one of them started screaming to get my attention while the other pulled the car door shut on my fingers. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2012 at 12:17pm / Philippines (Manila) / Kids

Today, I was eating lunch, and accidentally got ketchup on the sofa, so I hastily doused it with stain remover. The ketchup is now no longer there; however there is a larger stain in its place. I stained the sofa with stain remover. FML

by Anonymous / 05/24/2012 at 3:23pm / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to take Viagra. FML

by aaah. / 05/24/2012 at 1:42am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy

Today, I went into my classroom to find a bag of shit on my desk with a note saying, "Thanks for failing me b*tch!" FML

by Anonymous / 05/24/2012 at 12:59am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I finally got the chance to meet this wonderful guy I met on a dating site. She was very excited to see me, too. FML

by Anonymous / 05/16/2012 at 1:02pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

by lafinesse / 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

by lafinesse / 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend started laughing during sex because my boobs are slightly different. He then broke up with me after I pointed out that his nuts aren't exactly even either. FML

by anonymous / 05/14/2012 at 6:31am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I got all my wisdom teeth out. Have you ever thrown up after mouth surgery? Stomach acid in your bloody gum holes is just as fun as it sounds. FML

by lspicknall / 05/12/2012 at 2:41am / United States (Wisconsin) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I took a picture in front of my bathroom mirror and posted it on Facebook. When I checked it later, it had 20 comments on the picture. I was feeling good until I read the comments and looked at the picture again. I left my vibrator on the the bathroom counter. FML

by Hunter101 / 05/12/2012 at 12:24am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I took a picture in front of my bathroom mirror and posted it on Facebook. When I checked it later, it had 20 comments on the picture. I was feeling good until I read the comments and looked at the picture again. I left my vibrator on the the bathroom counter. FML

by Hunter101 / 05/12/2012 at 12:24am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, after my boyfriend broke up with me, the only thing positive about my day was a pregnancy test. FML

by rawr_fml001 / 05/11/2012 at 7:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love