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jonnied23

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jonnied23
  • Town/Country : Silver Spring, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 23 June 1997 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 3048
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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jonnied23's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least, they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around, listening to me talking in my sleep. FML

#20793742
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49106) - you deserved it (8112)

On 07/20/2013 at 4:35am - work - by Dirty_Mind_69 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was playing solitaire when an achievement popped up on my phone. "You have just completed your 1000th game of solitaire!" Never felt so alone in my life. FML

#20793723
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41965) - you deserved it (6836)

On 07/20/2013 at 4:14am - misc - by solitaire - United States (Washington)

Today, I announced my first pregnancy to my family. Not to be outdone, my sister immediately announced that she "might" be getting pregnant soon. My family ended up congratulating her instead, and asked me if I would plan the baby shower. FML

#20793609
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51698) - you deserved it (2634)

On 07/20/2013 at 2:31am - kids - by Happyunlucky (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went to watch a movie. In the middle of it, I accidentally fell asleep. Minutes later, I awoke on a stranger's shoulder. He was caressing my hair. FML

#20793573
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37397) - you deserved it (8929)

On 07/20/2013 at 1:53am - misc - by imawesomeokay (woman) - Mexico (Jalisco)

Today, I woke up with a half-shaved head, thanks to the friends I let crash at my place last night. I have work in an hour and a half, and they hid my hair clippers. FML

#20793566
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33170) - you deserved it (3758)

On 07/20/2013 at 1:47am - work - by Eisenhorn (man) - United States

Today, my dad grounded me for swearing, after I read a funny comment on Youtube to my sister. The supposed swear word? "YOLO." FML

#20792771
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35252) - you deserved it (31865)

On 07/19/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by libraries are a girl's best friend (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went on a blind date and we seemed to have hit it off nicely. I asked him if he could drive me home. Along the way he stopped on a pitch-black road and told me to get out so he could take a picture. He then gave me my bag and drove off, leaving me stranded in the middle of nowhere. FML

Today, I had to break up a fist fight between two female residents. I work in a retirement home. FML

#20791178
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38345) - you deserved it (2816)

On 07/18/2013 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend said she wanted to get a little crazy and try some role-play. "Act like you don't want it," she said. Without thinking, I replied, "Well, that should be easy." FML

#20790896
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25979) - you deserved it (45256)

On 07/18/2013 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by FootinMouth (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while wiping my ass, the broken finger that has been set straight dipped into the toilet and touched a turd. This keeps happening since I broke it, and I'm sure it will again. FML

#20790784
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37623) - you deserved it (10169)

On 07/18/2013 at 4:53pm - health - by broken finger (man) - United States

Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML

#20790528
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19115) - you deserved it (38978)

On 07/18/2013 at 2:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I called a tree removal company to have my diseased elm removed. When I got home from work, I was surprised to find it still there. Not as surprised as my neighbor was to discover that his tree was missing, nor as surprised as his children when they saw there was no more tree-house. FML

#20790198
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51890) - you deserved it (3874)

On 07/18/2013 at 10:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I overheard my ripped, handsome, genetically perfect brother telling my mom how "fat people" make him "nervous". I have only recently accepted my weight, after struggling for years. I now understand why my brother rarely talks to me. FML

#20790160
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46410) - you deserved it (5947)

On 07/18/2013 at 9:53am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my pre-teen brother has started using the entire Axe line because he believes that it will give him an "edge with the ladies". He insists on using the products at least three times a day, including before bedtime. I'm allergic to anything that is perfumed. We share a room. FML

#20790014
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45691) - you deserved it (3066)

On 07/18/2013 at 5:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML



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