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Today, it was hot out, so I opted to stay cool and wear my bathing suit all day. My mom took it as me rubbing in the fact that I'm thinner than her and grounded me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29165) - you deserved it (3784)
On 07/24/2011 at 4:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was in a pool locker room, surrounded by semi-naked people. While changing into my clothes, I accidentally pushed a button on my phone, causing it to make the loud, unmistakable camera shutter sound effect. Everyone definitely heard it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26184) - you deserved it (3435)
On 07/22/2011 at 1:36pm - misc - by Roode (man) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24817) - you deserved it (79157)
On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)
Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10276) - you deserved it (38876)
On 07/11/2011 at 3:21pm - kids - by dummy (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, after having my car been broken into the day before because I didn't lock it, I made sure I locked my doors. When I got off shift and entered the parking lot, I noticed a brick had been thrown through my windshield and a note that said, "Nice Try". FML
I agree, your life sucks (33072) - you deserved it (2272)
On 07/09/2011 at 3:04am - misc - by JohnyP - United States (Ohio)
Today, I realized that I look sexier in my fiancée's panties than she does. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24042) - you deserved it (15239)
On 07/08/2011 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by Joe - United States
Today, after running a couple of miles, I went upstairs into my air conditioned room to cool off. Apparently, my mom walked passed my room and heard me breathing heavily. Later, she had my dad give me a talk about masturbation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28576) - you deserved it (2233)
On 07/08/2011 at 12:20am - intimacy - by chumleevil - United States (Maine)
Today, my mother resolved to never visit McDonald's again. Not because of ethics or health concerns, but because they charged her for extra barbecue sauce. She bitched out the man in the drive-through for a good five minutes, while I sat awkwardly in the passenger's seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21895) - you deserved it (2146)
On 07/07/2011 at 7:07pm - misc - by AgentFreshers (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23759) - you deserved it (11654)
On 07/04/2011 at 12:09pm - health - by hero to zero - United States (New York)
Today, my sister confessed to me that she sold some of my old shirts to the girl who's stalking me. This explains why I got a note that read, "I have your scent, now I can track you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34736) - you deserved it (1941)
On 07/03/2011 at 8:27pm - misc - by beablue18 - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)
Today, my son is going through a rebellious phase. He's taken to wearing leather and chains, listening to death metal music all day in his room alone, and screaming at me in public places. He was fired from his part-time job for swearing at customers. My son is 29 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35649) - you deserved it (9706)
On 06/27/2011 at 2:26am - kids - by SheenaL (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I sent my romantic interest a sexy text about a dream I had about a "sex gameshow." I sent it by replying to the last text sent. I'm now responsible for traumatizing my 12 year old niece who could only reply, "Like Jeopardy?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (7859) - you deserved it (30616)
On 06/25/2011 at 12:32am - intimacy - by PandaMantis (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I Googled myself. I found my mugshot and a blog my mom had written about how much of a problem child I am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24085) - you deserved it (15708)
On 06/21/2011 at 5:41pm - misc - by badgirl (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, my boyfriend told me why he stood me up last night instead of coming over to visit. Apparently me telling him I couldn't wait for him to do naughty things to me turned him off, and made him feel like a piece of meat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28508) - you deserved it (7849)
On 06/17/2011 at 7:32pm - intimacy - by Willow - United States
Today, my boyfriend told me that he is homophobic. This wouldn't be such a big deal, if my mother wasn't a lesbian. He doesn't know this yet, and I'm afraid to tell him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29098) - you deserved it (4678)
On 06/12/2011 at 11:20pm - love - by ash - United States (Missouri)
Monday 20 May 2013
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