Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jonnied23

Offline (the 02/07/2015 at 11:48pm) | Search for a member

jonnied23

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 23 June 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6607
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

jonnied23's page activity

Visits<b>raven83</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 11:40am<b>Wondermage</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 6:21am<b>btob143</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 2:24am<b>LondonderryAir</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 7:58pm<b>hahatofunny</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 7:37pm<b>XQuartzX</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 5:35pm<b>Cmealons</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 4:45pm<b>xReDMemory</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 1:30pm<b>homes7d</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 5:20pm<b>allie2590</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 2:12am<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 6:07pm<b>AnOriginalName</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 7:57pm<b>fueledbyhate</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 11:02pm<b>WafflebotO_O</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 7:12am<b>jasonmar</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 6:41am<b>onlyme25</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 12:56am<b>NineInchSacks</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 7:26pm<b>kanuka</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 6:59pm

Liked!<b>homes7d</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 11:20pm

jonnied23's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of jonnied23's badges

jonnied23's favorite FMLs

Today, I was racing my friends to the car for shotgun in the parking lot at night. I opened the passenger door of the car to find an old lady staring at me. It was the wrong car. FML

#20427324
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13007) - you deserved it (31495)

On 12/28/2012 at 3:14am - misc - by Anon - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went shopping. At the counter, the cashier started flirting with me and asked me for my number. He was cute, so I gave it to him. After walking out of the store, I got a text that said, "I didn't want to say it out loud, but your pants are unzipped." FML

#20427288
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37463) - you deserved it (5228)

On 12/28/2012 at 2:49am - misc - by Ren - United States (Ohio)

Today, while sharing a few beers on the couch with my boyfriend, he drunkenly uttered the fateful words, "Babe, if I could suck my own dick, you'd be single as HELL." FML

#20426492
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53605) - you deserved it (7243)

On 12/27/2012 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by well, i am now (woman) - United States

Today, after ranting to my boyfriend about how Pandora bracelets are pointless and cliched and that I'd never spend that kind of money on a tiny charm, he gave me my Christmas present. It was a Pandora bracelet. FML

Today, I tried to impress a girl at the gym on the squat rack, but let out a big fart. She was grossed out and laughed at me with her friends. Her boyfriend came over and told me I was a dead man, and I'd better leave. I'm now the proud owner of a year membership at a gym I can't go to. FML

#20425068
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19003) - you deserved it (24959)

On 12/27/2012 at 1:46am - health - by pipefitter28 (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at a post-Christmas party, I saw a cute girl standing underneath a mistletoe. I walked up to her and pointed out that we were both standing under a mistletoe. She looked at me, winced, and quickly walked away. FML

#20424412
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18284) - you deserved it (21181)

On 12/26/2012 at 9:09pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML

#20423881
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42639) - you deserved it (5015)

On 12/26/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by geewhy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML

#20423578
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50357) - you deserved it (4747)

On 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after giving my husband a new video game that he's been wanting, along with homemade waffles and a surprise blowjob, he gave me my gift: two packets of ramen noodles, and toilet paper. FML

Today, my ex-boyfriend of over 4 years decided to turn up outside my house at 1am, drunk off his ass, to confess his love for me. When I told him I'd moved on and am happily engaged, he cried on the grass for an hour, then tried to steal my cat. FML

#20423470
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40069) - you deserved it (4043)

On 12/26/2012 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got a phone call from my boyfriend breaking things off with me. He waited until the day after Christmas because he wanted all his presents. And he got me nothing. FML

#20423285
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44268) - you deserved it (3449)

On 12/26/2012 at 9:32am - love - by Jolene - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up from an explicit dream involving my dentist. I'm scheduled for a conscious sedation appointment with him in two hours and I'm terrified of what I might say or do while I'm under. FML

#20423262
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27056) - you deserved it (2929)

On 12/26/2012 at 9:05am - health - by ugh - United States (Ohio)

Today, I unwrapped my present and, to my surprise, I had gotten a repair manual for my truck. Apparently, my parents are "Tired of seeing that piece of shit in front of our house." FML

#20423026
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13351) - you deserved it (20428)

On 12/26/2012 at 3:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML

#20422616
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33222) - you deserved it (3264)

On 12/25/2012 at 11:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • Sidonie's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! In this week's edition, some pedalos, some kittens, a bunch of gypsy singers, some ponytails, a crooner, a house that looks like Hitler, a joke about George W. Bush's cocaine habit and a brilliant…

Thursday 19 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: