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jonnied23

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jonnied23
  • Town/Country : Silver Spring, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 23 June 1992 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 1309
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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jonnied23's favorite FMLs

Today, my thirteen-year-old daughter tried to scratch the freckles off of her face. We ended up going to the hospital. FML

#20067114
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17122) - you deserved it (1820)

On 09/11/2012 at 12:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I took a girl out to dinner. Halfway through, she sighed and asked if it was all an episode of Disaster Date. FML

#20064691
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17097) - you deserved it (2152)

On 09/09/2012 at 1:21pm - love - by zed - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got into an argument with my mom over her sexist, emotionally-abusive boyfriend. I told her that either he goes or I go. She called me a disrespectful bastard for not respecting my "new father." I'm now sitting outside a McDonald's with my suitcase, leeching their WiFi. FML

#20063189
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26369) - you deserved it (1651)

On 09/08/2012 at 1:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized how much it sucks to have the same name as my dad when I overheard my mom moan his name in bed. FML

#20062873
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32265) - you deserved it (1685)

On 09/08/2012 at 7:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got back to work. Last week, my divorce was finalized and my last name is, once again, my maiden name. Since I'm a teacher, all my students will remember me by my ex-husband's last name. I get to be reminded every day that my marriage failed until everyone memorizes my maiden name. FML

#20059793
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16730) - you deserved it (2368)

On 09/05/2012 at 11:27pm - work - by divorcee - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my teacher assigned us teams in a class debate. I landed on the team that had to argue the obviously wrong point of view. When I finished, my teacher told me and the entire class how much I disturbed her, and how I reminded her of Hitler and Napoleon. FML

#20058797
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19087) - you deserved it (1416)

On 09/05/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had to give a speech as part of my campaign for school captain. I was rather happy with it and so I told another candidate my speech. Apparently it was a good idea as minutes later that same candidate stole my entire speech, leaving me looking like a complete idiot. FML

#20058690
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6566) - you deserved it (21777)

On 09/05/2012 at 9:51am - misc - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Right as she orgasmed, she screamed out Megatron's name. When I later confronted her about this, she said that she always had a crush on him and wanted to be queen of the Decepticons. I've been dating this lunatic for a year and half now. FML

#20056354
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12589) - you deserved it (15327)

On 09/03/2012 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by Loserbot (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after a visit with my mom, I started feeling sick. I meant to send her a text asking if she had gotten sick lately, but I accidentally sent a text asking if she had gotten dick lately. FML

#20054615
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21780) - you deserved it (3913)

On 09/02/2012 at 7:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the girl I went on an awkward date with two weeks ago showed up at university and started smashing my car with a bat. She then broke down in tears and alternated between declaring her love, and cussing me out for "cheating" on her. FML

#20051466
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20279) - you deserved it (1710)

On 08/31/2012 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontanous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML

#20051213
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19857) - you deserved it (10904)

On 08/31/2012 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by jon (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was dumped by my boyfriend. He claimed that it's because he's an agent fighting the Mafia, and he doesn't want to put my life at risk through reprisal attacks. FML

#20045057
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15802) - you deserved it (1720) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/27/2012 at 6:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML

#20044244
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17501) - you deserved it (2122)

On 08/27/2012 at 8:57am - love - by kvdfan (woman) - United States

Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML

#20043181
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19666) - you deserved it (2469)

On 08/26/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML

#20043181
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19666) - you deserved it (2469)

On 08/26/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



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