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jonnied23's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
jonnied23's favorite FMLs
Today, I caught my boyfriend wearing yoga pants and taking pictures of his butt to post on a "Girls in yoga pants" site. He saw my expression and said, "Nah, it's cool, I hid my junk so they'll think it's a chick!" FML
by Amy / 01/10/2013 at 12:09am / United States / Intimacy
by wtf dad / 01/09/2013 at 10:15pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. After he left my place, I realized he took my Sonicare toothbrush because he knew that I would be more upset about missing that than our relationship. He was right. I am really upset about it. FML
by niki / 01/09/2013 at 9:37pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML
by GDBeast / 01/09/2013 at 6:55pm / United States / Love
Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML
by thanksmom / 01/09/2013 at 2:57pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
by kk / 01/09/2013 at 11:07am / United States / Miscellaneous
by anonymous001 / 01/08/2013 at 2:58pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by finallyready / 01/08/2013 at 2:56pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Love
Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word "cunt", which prompted her to ask what that word meant in a loud "whisper". She followed up even more loudly with, "Does that mean pussy?" FML
by troll of a gran / 01/08/2013 at 12:10pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend of a year asked me to move in with him. I would have been touched at this gesture, had he not asked in the form of a text message, saying: "Got kicked out. Wanna get a flat or something?" FML
by movingbuddy / 01/08/2013 at 8:31am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by maddiecat / 01/08/2013 at 12:34am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by legitweirdo / 01/07/2013 at 11:16pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by EffUrEll / 01/07/2013 at 7:58pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found a ring box in the pocket of my boyfriend's pants while doing laundry. I eagerly walked up to him knowing that it was an engagement ring, hoping that he would propose on the spot. He tossed it back to me and said, "Well you found it, I don't actually have to ask now, right?" FML
by anonymous / 01/07/2013 at 7:21pm / United States / Love
Today, in an elaborate plan to finally meet my cute neighbor, I convinced my friendly mailman to switch up our mail so I'd have an excuse to meet her. After I delivered her mail, I waited for her to mention that she had my mail, but she never did. I even saw her take it out of her mail box. FML
by james88 / 01/07/2013 at 4:39pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
- 1Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 2Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…
- Today, my dad came to pick me up early for the Christmas break. He walked in on me cleaning all 19… Today, I desperately tried to explain to my boyfriend why he shouldn't talk about the bible during… Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden,…