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jonnied23

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jonnied23
  • Town/Country : Silver Spring, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 23 June 1997 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 3061
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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jonnied23's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked up sixteen flights of stairs to my room to avoid the lift lines. When I was almost to the top, the fire alarm sounded. FML

#20462640
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24818) - you deserved it (2325)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:02pm - misc - by tired - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML

#20462590
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34695) - you deserved it (2954)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:26pm - health - by SF49 - United States

Today, after a long, horrible day at work and some fighting with my family and my girlfriend, I decided to cheer myself up by going to McDonald's for a change. I burst into tears when the cashier told me they couldn't make me a Mars McFlurry because they'd run out of ingredients. FML

#20460946
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33730) - you deserved it (7558)

On 01/15/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I got a new girlfriend. Unfortunately, the last girl I asked out just responded to my relationship request on Facebook. It's been 4 hours, and my new girlfriend already thinks I'm cheating on her. FML

#20460941
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12596) - you deserved it (39543)

On 01/15/2013 at 3:53pm - love - by George - United States (Washington)

Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML

#20460703
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41019) - you deserved it (5696)

On 01/15/2013 at 12:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML

#20460540
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38318) - you deserved it (4050)

On 01/15/2013 at 9:41am - kids - by Nightmare (woman) -

Today, while I was having sex, he stopped, looked at me all seriously and said, "Permission to climax, ma'am?" FML

#20458937
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35361) - you deserved it (6614)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, both my brother and sister missed my wedding. She was playing in a Call of Duty tournament, and he got so high that he forgot about the wedding completely. He was my best man. FML

#20458912
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41266) - you deserved it (2352)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:36pm - misc - by What a happy day (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was at a party with my crush. The collar on his shirt was sticking up so I fixed it for him. He gave me a hug and said, "Aww you're so good to me. You're like my mother. You can be my college mother." I got mother-zoned. FML

#20458655
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44775) - you deserved it (5466)

On 01/14/2013 at 7:56am - love - by shiney100893 (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my mum excitedly discussed with me the prospect of starting a mother-son YouTube duo. Thinking she was joking, I went along with it. She is now installing a 24-hour webcam in the house to record our conversations, which she perceives as hilarious, and is going to upload them. FML

#20458570
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29540) - you deserved it (7295)

On 01/14/2013 at 5:06am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while living in Florida, I had a conversation with my mother explaining that it might be best for me to come back home. Her response, "Don't worry, they have plenty of homeless shelters down there if you need a place to stay." Thanks Mom. FML

#20458436
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25341) - you deserved it (3124)

On 01/14/2013 at 1:51am - misc - by living_thedream (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my vegan boyfriend told me that if he were forced to kill either his cat or me, he'd kill me because he "would never kill an animal." FML

#20458188
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31604) - you deserved it (5824)

On 01/13/2013 at 11:49pm - animals - by Abendigo77 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my husband that the 5-second rule doesn't apply if you drop the floss into the toilet. FML

#20458013
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31920) - you deserved it (2617)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:36pm - misc - by PeeFlavouredFloss (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, the girl of my dreams asked me if I wanted to go biking with her. "Just the two of us," she said. I had to turn her down because I'm 17 years old and never learned how to ride a bike. FML

#20457168
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20826) - you deserved it (25413)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was making wedding plans with my fiancé. His mother kept complaining about everything, and insisted it was pointless to plan because it's just our "first marriage." She then tried to convince him to dump me and move back in with her because "she's all he'll ever need." FML



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