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jonnied23's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
jonnied23's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 01/17/2013 at 5:43am / United States / Work
by tired / 01/16/2013 at 2:02pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML
by SF49 / 01/16/2013 at 1:26pm / United States / Health
Today, after a long, horrible day at work and some fighting with my family and my girlfriend, I decided to cheer myself up by going to McDonald's for a change. I burst into tears when the cashier told me they couldn't make me a Mars McFlurry because they'd run out of ingredients. FML
by Anonymous / 01/15/2013 at 3:56pm / Finland (Southern Finland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got a new girlfriend. Unfortunately, the last girl I asked out just responded to my relationship request on Facebook. It's been 4 hours, and my new girlfriend already thinks I'm cheating on her. FML
by George / 01/15/2013 at 3:53pm / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML
by Anonymous / 01/15/2013 at 12:45pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML
by Anonymous / 01/14/2013 at 12:58pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by What a happy day / 01/14/2013 at 12:36pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at a party with my crush. The collar on his shirt was sticking up so I fixed it for him. He gave me a hug and said, "Aww you're so good to me. You're like my mother. You can be my college mother." I got mother-zoned. FML
by shiney100893 / 01/14/2013 at 7:56am / Ireland (Dublin) / Love
Today, my mum excitedly discussed with me the prospect of starting a mother-son YouTube duo. Thinking she was joking, I went along with it. She is now installing a 24-hour webcam in the house to record our conversations, which she perceives as hilarious, and is going to upload them. FML
by Anonymous / 01/14/2013 at 5:06am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, while living in Florida, I had a conversation with my mother explaining that it might be best for me to come back home. Her response, "Don't worry, they have plenty of homeless shelters down there if you need a place to stay." Thanks Mom. FML
by living_thedream / 01/14/2013 at 1:51am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Abendigo77 / 01/13/2013 at 11:49pm / United States (California) / Animals
by PeeFlavouredFloss / 01/13/2013 at 10:36pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/13/2013 at 1:25pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
- Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, because I’m on my period, I asked my boyfriend to turn around so I could change my clothes.… Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without…