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jonnied23

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jonnied23
  • Town/Country : Silver Spring, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 23 June 1997 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 3087
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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jonnied23's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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jonnied23's favorite FMLs

Today, after recently breaking up with my boyfriend, I unknowingly washed my laundry using his washing tabs. My whole wardrobe now smells like my ex. FML

#20467750
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24001) - you deserved it (14836)

On 01/19/2013 at 11:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, someone broke into my car by smashing the driver's side window. I'd be less irritated if they had just used the door handle; the lock has been broken for years. FML

#20467580
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26666) - you deserved it (2902)

On 01/19/2013 at 8:14am - money - by Perplexed - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I found out that my home-made pasta sauce had a weird taste to it because my basil patch in the backyard has become my dog's preferred spot to pee. FML

#20467403
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28093) - you deserved it (6220)

On 01/19/2013 at 2:40am - animals - by damnthedog (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was driving and noticed a police car parked in a spot reserved for the handicapped. I stopped my car and got out to take a picture. The cop gave me a ticket for parking in the road. FML

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

#20466884
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30068) - you deserved it (2586)

On 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by methane overload (man) - United States

Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly that someone decided to hurl a chair at me on-stage. FML

#20466782
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24859) - you deserved it (13586)

On 01/18/2013 at 7:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Iceland

Today, I saw in my browser history a profile from one of those "Facebook of sex" websites. Turns out that my boyfriend has been posting naked pictures of himself on there using my laptop and flirting with teenage girls. His excuse? "I have friends on there." FML

#20466217
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22279) - you deserved it (1899)

On 01/18/2013 at 12:21pm - love - by TheOtherWoman (woman) - United Kingdom (North Somerset)

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

#20466086
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33497) - you deserved it (3543)

On 01/18/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by Keastwood013 - United States

Today, I was walking towards a party where I knew my cheating ex would be. I passionately rehearsed how I would have a go at him big time when I met him. Guess who was walking right behind me and heard it all. FML

#20465975
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12274) - you deserved it (36549)

On 01/18/2013 at 7:55am - love - by Shuttie (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, when I asked my boss why my bonus was cut in half, he replied, "I have no idea what you really do." I'm the IT Manager. FML

#20465650
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25549) - you deserved it (2172)

On 01/18/2013 at 12:53am - money - by Anon - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML

#20465100
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31171) - you deserved it (9139)

On 01/17/2013 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by jakeeey - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML

#20464395
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29088) - you deserved it (14152)

On 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, an elderly gentleman came into my store complaining of a toothache, so I showed him where the Orajel was located. He then insisted on making a big scene, claiming that I really had the magic touch and if I would just stroke his cheek all his pain would go away. FML

#20464379
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25445) - you deserved it (2407)

On 01/17/2013 at 11:57am - work - by lifebecrazed (woman) -

Today, after months of searching and several emotional breakdowns, I finally found a new job. My wife's words of encouragement? "Try not to fuck this one up." FML

#20464089
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25904) - you deserved it (8390)

On 01/17/2013 at 5:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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