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jonnied23's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
jonnied23's favorite FMLs
Today, while sledding with my daughter, I tried getting her to go down a steeper slope than she's used to. She was worried she'd crash, so I went first to show her how it's done. I lost control halfway down the hill, bailed, and rolled into a tree. My wife has it on video. FML
by Fluffydemise / 01/19/2013 at 1:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/19/2013 at 11:50am / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Love
by Perplexed / 01/19/2013 at 8:14am / United States (South Dakota) / Money
by damnthedog / 01/19/2013 at 2:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals
by LaLince / 01/19/2013 at 1:14am / Switzerland / Transportation
Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML
by methane overload / 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/18/2013 at 7:26pm / Iceland / Work
Today, I saw in my browser history a profile from one of those "Facebook of sex" websites. Turns out that my boyfriend has been posting naked pictures of himself on there using my laptop and flirting with teenage girls. His excuse? "I have friends on there." FML
by TheOtherWoman / 01/18/2013 at 12:21pm / United Kingdom (North Somerset) / Love
by Keastwood013 / 01/18/2013 at 10:25am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking towards a party where I knew my cheating ex would be. I passionately rehearsed how I would have a go at him big time when I met him. Guess who was walking right behind me and heard it all. FML
by Shuttie / 01/18/2013 at 7:55am / Denmark (Syddanmark) / Love
Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML
by Anon / 01/18/2013 at 12:53am / United States (Texas) / Money
by jakeeey / 01/17/2013 at 8:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML
by Anonymous / 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work
Today, an elderly gentleman came into my store complaining of a toothache, so I showed him where the Orajel was located. He then insisted on making a big scene, claiming that I really had the magic touch and if I would just stroke his cheek all his pain would go away. FML
- Today, I was hanging out with a co-worker who I really liked. One thing led to another and we ended… Today, I found out that applying toothpaste to your penis to make it taste good for your girlfriend… Today, my girlfriend asked me to take my belt off as the buckle was hurting her leg. I didn't have…