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Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. We were under the covers, and my little brother thought we were wrestling, so he got on top of the covers and started "wrestling" with us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10451) - you deserved it (19213)
On 07/14/2012 at 3:09am - intimacy - by Leyla - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. We were under the covers, and my little brother thought we were wrestling, so he got on top of the covers and started "wrestling" with us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10451) - you deserved it (19213)
On 07/14/2012 at 3:09am - intimacy - by Leyla - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend came to a family barbecue. I guess my dad heard him talking about the "fun" we'd be having later, because over the following two hours, he tripped my boyfriend up on concrete, threw a beer can at him, and sprayed him full-force with a water hose. All "accidentally" of course. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13929) - you deserved it (4682)
On 07/06/2012 at 5:30pm - misc - by :$ (woman) - United States
Today, my over-protective husband went into an extreme fit of jealousy at the sight of me breast-feeding our newborn baby boy. He's trying to make me bottle-feed our boy, because apparently it's "wrong" to let another guy touch my boobs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34790) - you deserved it (3699)
On 07/06/2012 at 1:44pm - love - by wife of a shithead (woman) - Norway (Oslo)
Today, I was having an argument with my girlfriend in front of our friends. I didn't want her to spoil my good time, so I ignored her until she disappeared. She re-appeared thirty minutes later just to throw a punch that would make Muhammad Ali jealous. Our friends' reaction? They clapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6214) - you deserved it (34261)
On 07/03/2012 at 7:51am - misc - by ali (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I saw my best friend, who's a cop. He was dressed up in regular clothes and with six other guys. I said, "Officer T.? Didn't you have work today?" Turns out he was undercover, and I blew his investigation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14031) - you deserved it (29661)
On 07/01/2012 at 4:45am - misc - by immabitch - United States
Today, I was having sex with the guy I've been in love with for years. I moaned, "say my name." He didn't know it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24258) - you deserved it (7211)
On 06/30/2012 at 9:35pm - intimacy - by say my name -
Today, I let my daughter bake a cake for her brother's fifth birthday party. She showed up later with a cake in the shape of a cock and balls. Apparently it's okay, though, because "I frosted it to look like a rocket, hehehe!" I can't believe my balls spawned this moron. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15832) - you deserved it (4460)
On 06/29/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was having a funny conversation with a guy I had met on Xbox. I told him the state I lived in, and he said, "Don't tell me that, I might stalk you." He wasn't kidding. He has somehow found out my phone number, and my address. He says he's going to send me flowers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10441) - you deserved it (22952)
On 06/22/2012 at 9:08am - misc - by ExplosiveDildo (woman) - Afghanistan
Today, I was lecturing my high school students on the importance of a good education. I pointed out the janitor in the hall and told them if they didn't stay in school, they'd end up like him. Then one of my students raised her hand and reminded me that the janitor I pointed to was her dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4633) - you deserved it (48922)
On 06/21/2012 at 12:11am - work - by daddy'sgirl - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9149) - you deserved it (17081)
Today, I went to meet my girlfriend's parents at her sister's play. The moment I introduced myself, I realized that her father was my probation officer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24694) - you deserved it (13468)
On 06/10/2012 at 5:16am - love - by fernie vazquez - United States (California)
Today, I was in a business meeting. I was giving a Powerpoint presentation to my boss and a few other associates. Then a notification popped up in the middle of my presentation reminding me that I needed to renew my pornhub subscription. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9960) - you deserved it (31329)
On 06/08/2012 at 7:58am - work - by WaffleMan (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17556) - you deserved it (1467)
On 06/03/2012 at 12:13pm - love - by mothtal (woman) - Bulgaria
Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17556) - you deserved it (1467)
On 06/03/2012 at 12:13pm - love - by mothtal (woman) - Bulgaria
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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