This member hasn't filled in the description.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Profile completed
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I was late for class. I have extreme social anxiety, so I quietly slipped into the huge, packed auditiorium, trying to be as quiet as possible. When I was almost to my seat, I accidentally kicked a teacher's coffee down the steps. The entire class looked at me and clapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15944) - you deserved it (2223)
On 09/12/2012 at 4:11pm - misc - by conspicuous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my thirteen-year-old daughter tried to scratch the freckles off of her face. We ended up going to the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17032) - you deserved it (1816)
On 09/11/2012 at 12:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I took a girl out to dinner. Halfway through, she sighed and asked if it was all an episode of Disaster Date. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17040) - you deserved it (2150)
Today, I got into an argument with my mom over her sexist, emotionally-abusive boyfriend. I told her that either he goes or I go. She called me a disrespectful bastard for not respecting my "new father." I'm now sitting outside a McDonald's with my suitcase, leeching their WiFi. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26304) - you deserved it (1647)
On 09/08/2012 at 1:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I realized how much it sucks to have the same name as my dad when I overheard my mom moan his name in bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31136) - you deserved it (1396)
On 09/08/2012 at 7:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got back to work. Last week, my divorce was finalized and my last name is, once again, my maiden name. Since I'm a teacher, all my students will remember me by my ex-husband's last name. I get to be reminded every day that my marriage failed until everyone memorizes my maiden name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16644) - you deserved it (2363)
On 09/05/2012 at 11:27pm - work - by divorcee - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my teacher assigned us teams in a class debate. I landed on the team that had to argue the obviously wrong point of view. When I finished, my teacher told me and the entire class how much I disturbed her, and how I reminded her of Hitler and Napoleon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19039) - you deserved it (1411)
On 09/05/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I had to give a speech as part of my campaign for school captain. I was rather happy with it and so I told another candidate my speech. Apparently it was a good idea as minutes later that same candidate stole my entire speech, leaving me looking like a complete idiot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6554) - you deserved it (21712)
On 09/05/2012 at 9:51am - misc - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Right as she orgasmed, she screamed out Megatron's name. When I later confronted her about this, she said that she always had a crush on him and wanted to be queen of the Decepticons. I've been dating this lunatic for a year and half now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12479) - you deserved it (15244)
On 09/03/2012 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by Loserbot (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, after a visit with my mom, I started feeling sick. I meant to send her a text asking if she had gotten sick lately, but I accidentally sent a text asking if she had gotten dick lately. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19246) - you deserved it (2960)
On 09/02/2012 at 7:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, the girl I went on an awkward date with two weeks ago showed up at university and started smashing my car with a bat. She then broke down in tears and alternated between declaring her love, and cussing me out for "cheating" on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20222) - you deserved it (1707)
On 08/31/2012 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontanous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19733) - you deserved it (10826)
On 08/31/2012 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by jon (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was dumped by my boyfriend. He claimed that it's because he's an agent fighting the Mafia, and he doesn't want to put my life at risk through reprisal attacks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15756) - you deserved it (1713) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 08/27/2012 at 6:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Sent from mobile version
Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17430) - you deserved it (2120)
On 08/27/2012 at 8:57am - love - by kvdfan (woman) - United States
Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19489) - you deserved it (2465)
On 08/26/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
