This member hasn't filled in the description.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Profile completed
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I wore a dress that I bought last weekend to work, thinking how I liked it and it fitted me perfectly, until someone at work told me that I was actually wearing a nightie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8170) - you deserved it (13015)
On 10/06/2012 at 4:58am - misc - by Valentine_Beauty (woman) - United States
Today, I came home from a three day vacation to find my psycho ex-girlfriend in my house. Even though I broke up with her six months ago, she hasn't broken up with me. It's alright though, she says she's going to forgive me and she already moved her stuff in when I was out of town. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23947) - you deserved it (1335)
On 10/06/2012 at 3:49am - love - by BusinessTurtle - United States (Iowa)
Today, a classmate came up to me, quickly shoved a dollar bill down my shirt, threw her arms around me and told me to pretend I was her boyfriend to avoid some other guy. Sad thing is, this is the first girl I've hugged in ages. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16129) - you deserved it (1375)
On 10/04/2012 at 1:09am - love - by nonfreehugs (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my teacher's comments on my essay read, "I know it's college, but you use a lot of unnecessary words with a lot of syllables." He basically scolded me for having a complex vocabulary. I go to an accredited state university. Nothing says "America" like under-achieving professors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16727) - you deserved it (5583)
On 10/03/2012 at 7:00pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, while walking down the hall of my old school, I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. Behind the faculty parking lot where I parked my truck, two students were having sex on my tailgate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19076) - you deserved it (1639)
On 10/03/2012 at 1:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28348) - you deserved it (4128)
On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28348) - you deserved it (4128)
On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I went on a date to the movies with this guy I kinda like. When he was driving me home, he asked me to be his girlfriend; I said I couldn’t because it was really bad timing. He kicked me out of the car, called me an asshole, and made me walk home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11621) - you deserved it (23264)
On 10/03/2012 at 9:47am - misc - by lonerboner (woman) - United States
Today, I found out that the landscaper my wife hired on my behalf wasn't kidding when he said he was going to trim my wife's bush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21687) - you deserved it (1543)
On 10/02/2012 at 8:04pm - intimacy - by praise the prenup (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend sighed, said "I can't do this any more" and pulled out. After repeatedly asking him what was wrong, he basically told me that I suck in bed. Apparently, the way I "just lie there" makes him feel like a necrophile. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7993) - you deserved it (30541)
On 09/28/2012 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada
Today, I unintentionally moaned during my prostate exam. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24505) - you deserved it (4521)
On 09/28/2012 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)
Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17109) - you deserved it (16430)
On 09/22/2012 at 10:06am - intimacy - by holyshitbatman - United States (Illinois)
Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17109) - you deserved it (16430)
On 09/22/2012 at 10:06am - intimacy - by holyshitbatman - United States (Illinois)
Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21695) - you deserved it (4925) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 09/21/2012 at 7:31am - misc - by minibuch1505 - Sent from mobile version
Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a used condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12997) - you deserved it (17591)
On 09/20/2012 at 3:00am - intimacy - by myself - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
