jonnied23

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Offline (the 07/09/2016 at 7:53am)

jonnied23

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 23 June 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 14326
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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jonnied23's page activity

Visits<b>ItnHmn</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 10:59pm<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 9:52am<b>maxthebigseal</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 7:46pm<b>justin12211</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 2:59pm<b>AdamPractical</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 9:37am<b>doctor__who</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 11:47am<b>ScarletSarah</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 8:24pm<b>Val0</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 2:02pm<b>AChaoticFray</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 6:32pm<b>guss5441</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 1:47am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 4:34pm<b>tehman117</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 1:05am<b>jessal</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 7:32pm<b>cartoonboy</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 10:58pm<b>drego5</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 7:14pm<b>EnigMind</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 12:48pm<b>raven83</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 4:22am<b>Wondermage</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 6:21am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 10:34pm<b>cartoonboy</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 4:59am<b>drego5</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 1:14am<b>homes7d</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 11:20pm

jonnied23's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of jonnied23's badges

jonnied23's favorite FMLs

Today, my brother was arrested for starting a fistfight at a funeral. He didn't even know the deceased; he's just been crashing funerals recently, hoping to hook up with mourners. I'm not sure who's more pathetic: him for doing such a thing, or me for bailing his fucking dumb arse out of jail. FML

by an idiot / 02/16/2013 at 1:03pm / Australia / Money

Today, while I was babysitting, the little girl wanted to show me a picture that her mom had just sent to the family iPad via iMessage. Trying to be helpful, I clicked iMessage, only to see pictures of her father's erect penis. She won't stop asking about the "hotdog" in the picture. FML

by Scarlett / 02/16/2013 at 1:03am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. He put me up against the wall and I yelled, "Harder!" without thinking. I heard the entire house go silent, my dad and his friends included. FML

by uhoh / 02/16/2013 at 12:27am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, while at the store with my mom, we ran into the girl I recently confessed to being interested in. My mom decided to shout, "IS THAT HER?! IS THAT THE GIRL YOU LIKE?!" Embarrassed, I desperately told her to be quiet. She grounded me for being "rude" to her. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2013 at 7:39pm / Italy (Lombardia) / Love

Today, my girlfriend finally said that she finally felt ready to have sex with me. It ended up being so terrible that I only managed to get some pleasure out of it when my mind drifted to the thought of going to Olive Garden later and eating some of their breadsticks. FML

by Acolyte of the Bacon God / 02/15/2013 at 2:50pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain to my white girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call my mother the n-word. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2013 at 11:30pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to yet again explain to the guy I live with that just because you can't see dirt, it doesn't mean it's clean. And so letting his dog lick the plates is NOT the same thing as washing up. He won't listen to me, and he uses my plates. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2013 at 8:08pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Animals

Today, I went to the market to buy some groceries. Before I got even half-way home, a guy stormed toward me, pulled what looked like a knife, and chased me around the block while screaming that he'd kill me for sleeping with his wife. Nope, still a 15-year-old virgin here. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2013 at 4:50pm / Saudi Arabia (Ash Sharqiyah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to give some change to a homeless man. My girlfriend pulled me away and ranted about how homeless people are all basically bastards who deserve their misfortune, and that I shouldn't give "our" money away. FML

by dating a fucking psycho / 02/14/2013 at 3:06pm / United States (North Carolina) / Money

Today, I had to use a dictionary before I realized I was being flirted with. FML

by lex / 02/14/2013 at 6:01am / United States / Love

Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML

by assoutofuandme / 02/14/2013 at 2:39am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2013 at 7:00pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Money

Today, I finally confronted my bully. Too bad it was at my high school reunion and he beat the shit out of me. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2013 at 5:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I've been living in Kenya in a nasty apartment for so long that when I looked down into my drink and saw a dead fly, I just picked it out and continued drinking. FML

by kenyaliving / 02/13/2013 at 5:04pm / Kenya / Miscellaneous

Today, the guy I like and his friend came home with me to work on a project. I opened my front door and my mum was at the top of the stairs completely naked, bent over, drying her hair with the hairdryer. It took a few moments for her to realise we were there. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2013 at 6:47am / United Kingdom (North Ayrshire) / Miscellaneous