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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25658) - you deserved it (5292)
On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I sent in an assignment from my batshit insane teacher. The assignment was to read a poem, analyze it, and make a comic of its plot. This would've been fine if the teacher who assigned it to me didn't teach math. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17608) - you deserved it (1083)
On 12/09/2012 at 10:53pm - work - by bestnameright - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I was getting intimate with my current bootycall when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed" "moo-ed" and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16536) - you deserved it (5808)
On 12/09/2012 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by Bug5992 (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7361) - you deserved it (50162)
On 12/09/2012 at 11:57am - intimacy - by SamWGovan (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, a senile old lady came up to me and offered me chocolate. I noticed that it was ex-lax, so I politely told her no. My 4-year-old daughter pushed me aside and ate the ex-lax, because she thought it was candy. I now have a stinky child on a 3 hour bus ride, with no stops. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14752) - you deserved it (7346)
On 12/09/2012 at 11:29am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend of 4 years drunkenly introduced me to another very special lady. His wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26052) - you deserved it (2213)
On 12/09/2012 at 9:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, after two weeks of being grounded, I was finally let out of the house by my mom. I had to call her at 1am asking her to come get me, because I got so drunk, I told my ride to leave without me. I'm grounded again after less than a day of freedom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3792) - you deserved it (53538)
On 12/09/2012 at 5:14am - misc - by Tasha_1996 (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I was chatting to a friend on Facebook about girls, and why we're single. We somehow ended up admitting to one another that we'd never get girlfriends, finding out that we both like hentai porn, and trading info on Japanese sex toys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6306) - you deserved it (18286)
On 12/08/2012 at 5:52pm - love - by XxtentaculonxX - United Kingdom (Argyll and Bute)
Today, my friend and I told each other about our boyfriends. They're both nice, kind, beautiful, talented, funny, sweet and smart. They also both have the same name. And house. And job. And car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34088) - you deserved it (1971)
On 12/08/2012 at 5:44am - love - by ouch. - Canada (Yukon Territory)
Today, my best friend announced she was getting married. I've always wanted to be a bridesmaid but she then added, "You can't be in the bridal party because you don't have the same body type as the other bridesmaids. But you can still come to the bachelorette party!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23043) - you deserved it (1660)
On 12/07/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by SBCR (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I found out that my wife, who is supposed to be a recovering alcoholic, drank an entire bottle of wine and then tried to hide it at the bottom of a garbage bin. To make matters worse, when I confronted her about it, she tried to convince me that our 5-year-old daughter had drunk it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19221) - you deserved it (1115)
On 12/06/2012 at 8:07pm - misc - by Matt8 (man) - United States
Today, after having sex, my girlfriend left my apartment after furiously ranting at me, because I made her come "too many times" and that it's "unfair" to her. What? FML
I agree, your life sucks (40923) - you deserved it (2666)
On 12/04/2012 at 3:09pm - intimacy - by AllegroRubato (man) - Chile (Region Metropolitana)
Today, after having sex, my girlfriend left my apartment after furiously ranting at me, because I made her come "too many times" and that it's "unfair" to her. What? FML
I agree, your life sucks (40923) - you deserved it (2666)
On 12/04/2012 at 3:09pm - intimacy - by AllegroRubato (man) - Chile (Region Metropolitana)
Today, after having sex, my girlfriend left my apartment after furiously ranting at me, because I made her come "too many times" and that it's "unfair" to her. What? FML
I agree, your life sucks (40923) - you deserved it (2666)
On 12/04/2012 at 3:09pm - intimacy - by AllegroRubato (man) - Chile (Region Metropolitana)
Today, after having sex, my girlfriend left my apartment after furiously ranting at me, because I made her come "too many times" and that it's "unfair" to her. What? FML
I agree, your life sucks (40923) - you deserved it (2666)
On 12/04/2012 at 3:09pm - intimacy - by AllegroRubato (man) - Chile (Region Metropolitana)
Monday 20 May 2013
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