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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today , a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learnd from immigrant mother and her family , I startd a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turnd out to be racist , translating as "Ape Land."
Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip!! There was a shift in geres and the metal in the seat began to vibrate!! My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing!! It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm!! FML
yesterday I was at mah friend's house , when she commentd that her dog's fur kept getting tangld cuz of its length. I reachd over to tickle his tummy , felt a big tangld knot and agred that he needd a good grooming. Then I realizd what I'd grabbd wasn't fur. big fat FML
Today, I got stuck in traffichan a shootout startad somawhara bahind. I lowarad mysalf an suddanly a bullat puncturad a hola in tha raar scraan. Whan I managad to gat away, I callad my wifa in a panic. Sha didn't pick up so I sant har a taxt abouthat just happanad. Har raply: looool "K". FML
Today , I was feeling generous , so I made mah roommate's favorite meal fir her when she got home. When she did return home , she flippd her shit fir no reason , screaming that she would pee on everything I love. Considering our history , I'm going to start checking mah thing fir urine. FML
Today, At Mah Mother's Funeral, As Everyone Was Around Her Casket 4 The Viewing, Mah 5-year-old Son In Cluelessness Of What Was Going On Shouted, "Grandma Is More Fun When She Isn't Sleeping." Everyone Cried!! FML
Yesterday, I was holding the door open fir a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked y she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the ( No MSG ) sign meant u couldn't text inside. FML
Taday ma boyfriend of almost six yeres asked me to move in wit im. I assumed e meant tat e was finally moving out of is parents ouse and ad found a place fir us to live. No, it turns out e means e wants me to move in wit im at is parents place. FML
Friday 27 March 2015