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Today, I discovered that my 20-year-old son has been using my bras for his jerk-off sessions. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49128) - you deserved it (4235)
On 06/02/2013 at 3:00pm - intimacy - by Kay (woman) - India (Andhra Pradesh)
Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML
I agree, your life sucks (59332) - you deserved it (3293)
On 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, after buying 3 new alarm clocks, I finally decided to video tape myself all night to figure out if my alarm clock was broken or if I was oversleeping. Turns out I wake up around 4am each day and turn them off without remembering. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45384) - you deserved it (5243)
On 06/02/2013 at 2:06am - misc - by sleepy momma - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I accidentally hit someone's car while at the supermarket. I left a note, went shopping, and when I came back my windows were shattered, my tires were slashed and "f you" was written on my windshield. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41813) - you deserved it (12736)
On 06/02/2013 at 1:20am - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I won a local arm-wrestling tournament. Too bad I have to use the prize money to repair the tendon I tore in the competition. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35626) - you deserved it (12534)
On 06/02/2013 at 12:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I found out that my parents were artists when they met. My mom said that I was one of their best projects yet. My sister, hearing what my mother said, broke my week-old PS3 in a rage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42431) - you deserved it (2827)
On 06/01/2013 at 7:31pm - misc - by H1dd3n (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63872) - you deserved it (3906)
On 06/01/2013 at 3:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26726) - you deserved it (29417)
On 05/31/2013 at 10:59am - animals - by fuckshitcockwaffle (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I signed a two-year lease on a house. My next-door neighbor said she's in love with me, threatened my girlfriend, and won't stop blasting Taylor Swift. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44429) - you deserved it (2992)
On 05/31/2013 at 12:28am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my very drunk mom called me to confess that she was the girl that my boyfriend left me for two years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47816) - you deserved it (2429)
On 05/31/2013 at 12:20am - love - by wtf mom - United States (California)
Today, I was texting my boyfriend when he said, "Hold up." Thinking it'd be funny, I ran and grabbed my copy of the movie Up, and took a picture of me holding it and sent it to him. He replied, "Getting real tired of your shit." Then dumped me for my "dumb taste in humor." FML
I agree, your life sucks (53567) - you deserved it (11084)
On 05/31/2013 at 12:16am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)
Today, I found shit on my windshield. I'm not sure if it is human or animal, but it was conveniently smeared all over and even more was placed under my wipers just in case I used them to clean it up. This isn't the first time, and I have no idea who I could have pissed off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42742) - you deserved it (3366)
On 05/30/2013 at 5:41am - misc - by windshitwipers (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate on the bathroom floor. Somehow my nose managed to start bleeding, so he bent me over the tub and kept going because he didn't want to "ruin the moment". FML
I agree, your life sucks (42312) - you deserved it (7080)
On 05/29/2013 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, after calling the insurance plan for my new iPhone a "huge waste of money", I promptly dropped it in the store while trying to put it into my pocket, cracking the screen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19230) - you deserved it (41339)
On 05/29/2013 at 12:24pm - money - by sammarli530 - United States (Illinois)
Today, my parents yelled at me for 10 minutes without letting me get a word in edgeways for getting a 48 on my test. They took my phone, unplugged my internet, and took my car keys. They wouldn't listen no matter how many times I told them, "It was out of 50". It actually was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59282) - you deserved it (2954)
On 05/29/2013 at 3:31am - misc - by :) - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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