jonnied23

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Offline (the 04/20/2016 at 4:17pm)

jonnied23

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 23 June 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11635
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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jonnied23's page activity

Visits<b>maxthebigseal</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 7:46pm<b>justin12211</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 2:59pm<b>AdamPractical</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 9:37am<b>doctor__who</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 11:47am<b>ScarletSarah</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 8:24pm<b>Val0</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 2:02pm<b>AChaoticFray</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 6:32pm<b>guss5441</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 1:47am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 4:34pm<b>tehman117</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 1:05am<b>jessal</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 7:32pm<b>cartoonboy</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 10:58pm<b>drego5</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 7:14pm<b>EnigMind</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 12:48pm<b>raven83</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 4:22am<b>Wondermage</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 6:21am<b>btob143</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 2:24am<b>LondonderryAir</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 7:58pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 10:34pm<b>cartoonboy</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 4:59am<b>drego5</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 1:14am<b>homes7d</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 11:20pm

jonnied23's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of jonnied23's badges

jonnied23's favorite FMLs

Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML

by traveling / 07/09/2013 at 7:18am / Holidays

Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML

by -_- / 07/05/2013 at 5:59pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my step-dad tried to talk me into getting plastic surgery. His reasoning: "Let's face it, 28 and single? Look, I know your mum gave you shitty genes, but that's no excuse to avoid fixing your face, honey." FML

by buttuglyforeveralone :( / 07/05/2013 at 5:37pm / United Kingdom (Merthyr Tydfil) / Miscellaneous

Today, a girl I met recently asked if I wanted to go jogging with her, and I excitedly agreed. A while into our run, I ran out of breath and doubled over panting, all while she kept jogging and slowly disappeared down the street. What a way to spend time together. FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2013 at 12:13pm / Netherlands / Love

Today, I found out that my parents spent all of the money in my college fund to pay for my cat to be flown to LA and audition for a movie. FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2013 at 2:11am / United States (Iowa) / Money

Today, during a firework show, my dog gave me her opinion about them by practically eating half my bedroom door then defecating on my bed. FML

by damn dog / 07/05/2013 at 1:43am / United States / Animals

Today, my daughter asked me to get her razors. When my 19-year-old son saw them he asked what they were for, to which my daughter replied, "For my armpits." My son then said, "Girls don't grow armpit hair." FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2013 at 12:59am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, as I was enjoying a nice fish salad, my father looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Ahh, salmon. The 'other' pink meat", then winked suggestively at my mother. I don't think I can ever eat fish again. FML

by ugh / 07/04/2013 at 2:28pm / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Intimacy

Today, I was on a movie date with my boyfriend, when he asked for a handjob. I thought I was doing well until he sighed, took my hand off, and said he could finish on his own. FML

by Anonymous / 07/03/2013 at 12:25pm / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy

Today, while waitressing, I had a huge party. When everything was said and done I saw the tip they left me. It said on a napkin, "You're pretty. You can't put a value on a compliment." And that was it. I wish compliments paid the rent. FML

by Chellybelly92 / 07/01/2013 at 11:34am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my fiancé paid a visit to my parents so he could ask my dad's permission to marry me. My dad responded with, "Why buy the cow when you can milk it for free?" FML

by Gracie-Ann / 07/01/2013 at 2:38am / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 1:50am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to get new shoes. I'm a pretty tall girl and I have proportional feet. I asked the cute guy who worked there for a size 9.5. He burst into laughter before putting on a shocked face and saying, "Oh wait... You're serious." Goodbye, self esteem. FML

by theyre not THAT big. / 07/01/2013 at 12:35am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I hid my parents' booze since I'd always thought their shitty behavior was due to drinking too much. Turns out they're just assholes. FML

by Acidic Donut / 06/30/2013 at 7:48pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, my shoe fell apart a few minutes after I got to work. I called my boyfriend and asked him to bring me the "pretty black pair" in my closet. What did he bring? Black stilettos. I'm a waitress with an eight hour shift. FML

by readytoamputatemyfeet / 06/30/2013 at 7:00pm / United States (Florida) / Work