Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jonnied23

Offline (yesterday at 5:00pm) | Search for a member

jonnied23

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 23 June 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4114
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

jonnied23's page activity

Visits<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 6:07pm<b>AnOriginalName</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 7:57pm<b>fueledbyhate</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 11:02pm<b>WafflebotO_O</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 7:12am<b>jasonmar</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 6:41am<b>onlyme25</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 12:56am<b>NineInchSacks</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 7:26pm<b>kanuka</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 6:59pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 6:43pm<b>ArcheryCole99</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 6:29pm<b>auzieforever705</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 6:04pm<b>October3461</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 5:36pm<b>Spinofanatic</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 5:17pm<b>PunkySpunky78</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 4:58pm<b>RainbowShine</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 4:53pm<b>Elric97</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 4:46pm<b>xxrush2112xx</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 4:43pm<b>SmuggletheBudgie</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 4:42pm

jonnied23's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of jonnied23's badges

jonnied23's favorite FMLs

Today, it's the fourth day of my new diet. I told my friends and family to watch me every time I eat to make sure it's healthy. I got so desperate that I hid some chocolates in my pocket then scarfed them down while pooping. FML

#20941432
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17075) - you deserved it (44095)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:52pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, while working customer service, I instructed a customer to press the pound key on her cellphone. She hesitated a moment before asking, "Um, the pound key? You mean the hashtag, right?" FML

#20941322
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41320) - you deserved it (3839)

On 11/01/2013 at 12:49pm - work - by #isthisthepoundkey? - United States (Florida)

Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML

#20882660
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26706) - you deserved it (39109)

On 09/15/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54872) - you deserved it (27574)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment for the first time, only to see another girl walking out. I accused her of cheating with him and we got into a fight. Turns out I was at the wrong apartment. He lives next door. FML

#20881196
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20026) - you deserved it (48367)

On 09/14/2013 at 4:47pm - love - by 181999 - United States (Vermont)

Today, after my grandma did some early Halloween costume shopping, I witnessed her modeling a "sexy nurse" outfit. After seeing her bare thighs and most of her ass, I don't think I can eat cottage cheese ever again. FML

#20868804
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45892) - you deserved it (4389)

On 09/05/2013 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by fuck my liBLARGHSLJNAdlajdSzxz (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

#20865687
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49458) - you deserved it (10667)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by fml (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML

#20864109
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52614) - you deserved it (6721)

On 09/02/2013 at 2:49am - intimacy - by Kiddo (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while writing a self-evaluation for my internship, I had to type up answers to certain questions and then submit them. After submission, I re-read one of the answers I had written that said, "After 3 months on the jon I finally feel like I have accomplished a lot." I had meant to write job. FML

#20863679
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30655) - you deserved it (8295)

On 09/01/2013 at 9:21pm - work - by OnCompanyTimeToo (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I found out that the very good-looking woman who sings for one of my favorite bands is actually a guy. FML

#20858850
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33458) - you deserved it (8104)

On 08/29/2013 at 3:07am - misc - by Pontiacman92 (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mom visited my new apartment for the first time. I was showing her the bedroom, when she looked into my opened sock drawer and said, "Using Durex, eh? Yeah, you were born 'cause a Trojan split." FML

#20852599
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40513) - you deserved it (4194)

On 08/24/2013 at 6:05pm - kids - by thanks mom ¬_¬ (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing Charades with my boyfriend's family. When it was his turn, he pointed at me. His mother said "Bitch?" The answer was "relationship". FML

#20848780
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52607) - you deserved it (3829)

On 08/22/2013 at 12:40am - love - by Embarrassed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML

#20841635
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54747) - you deserved it (4574)

On 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm - misc - by fsfs (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, my 14-year-old daughter convinced my son that when he was born, he was actually born as a girl, but we wanted a boy so bad we had his gender changed. Now he wants to change back to a girl because now he doesn't feel right as a boy. Last year, she got her other brother to cross dress. FML

#20832766
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49187) - you deserved it (5202)

On 08/11/2013 at 8:58pm - kids - by mydaughterisdisturbed - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had a dream in which I was being mugged. I started fighting the muggers off, while in reality, my fist smacked my wife in the face. Now she has a black eye, nobody believes my story, and they think I'm a wife beater. FML

#20832277
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49820) - you deserved it (5433)

On 08/11/2013 at 2:11pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: