Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jonnied23

Online | Search for a member

jonnied23

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 23 June 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4140
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

jonnied23's page activity

Visits<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 6:07pm<b>AnOriginalName</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 7:57pm<b>fueledbyhate</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 11:02pm<b>WafflebotO_O</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 7:12am<b>jasonmar</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 6:41am<b>onlyme25</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 12:56am<b>NineInchSacks</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 7:26pm<b>kanuka</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 6:59pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 6:43pm<b>ArcheryCole99</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 6:29pm<b>auzieforever705</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 6:04pm<b>October3461</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 5:36pm<b>Spinofanatic</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 5:17pm<b>PunkySpunky78</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 4:58pm<b>RainbowShine</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 4:53pm<b>Elric97</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 4:46pm<b>xxrush2112xx</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 4:43pm<b>SmuggletheBudgie</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 4:42pm

jonnied23's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of jonnied23's badges

jonnied23's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents sat me down and told me that I'm adopted. I took it in stride, and reassured them that as far as I'm concerned, they're my true parents. That annoyed them. Apparently the whole thing was a prank for a YouTube video, which I ruined by not crying or freaking out. FML

#21247893
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40089) - you deserved it (2630)

On 08/29/2014 at 2:09pm - kids - by hannahka (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML

#21246585
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32171) - you deserved it (30372)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I asked my dad to give me a haircut. After 20 minutes of "fuck"s and "shit"s, he gave up and just shaved my head bald. I pull off the look so badly that two people I don't even know have already told me I look like a psychopath. FML

#21245833
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32311) - you deserved it (5383)

On 08/26/2014 at 3:12pm - misc - by alanh69 (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48145) - you deserved it (9478)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad and I got into an argument, and he ended up calling me a son of a bitch. My mom heard and started arguing with him over him calling her a bitch. Three hours later, I'm now staying at my gran's house with my mom and hoping her threats of a divorce weren't for real. FML

#21241796
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39047) - you deserved it (2949)

On 08/20/2014 at 4:08pm - misc - by sonofaneuroticwench (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML

#21232670
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36194) - you deserved it (11578)

On 08/08/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by FUCK YOU (man) - United States

Today, I was working at a coffee shop. I was serving a customer when a cockroach appeared out of nowhere, and I screamed. Customers aren't supposed to know about the bugs so I had to lie and say I spilled coffee on myself, and served the customer while I felt the bug climbing up my leg. FML

Today, I was walking and saw a quarter. I bent down to pick it up. Barely a foot ahead there was another, so I crawled over to get it. This continued for about six feet when I realize a kid was laying them out in a trail. I had collected 7 fake quarters and the kid had it on video. FML

#21087786
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40497) - you deserved it (19458)

On 03/15/2014 at 11:46pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, before a blind date with a girl set up by my flatmate, I put some aftershave on. Then I realised I had forgotten my contact lenses. When I put them in it caused so much pain that in my attempt to reach the bathroom I walked into a wall. When I got there, she saw my swollen face and left. FML

Today, I found out that whenever my ex-wife is late getting the kids to school, she tells them to tell their teachers they were with me, and forges my name on the sign-in sheet. Missing homework? Dad's house. Forgot to bring something important? Ditto. The school thinks I'm a horrible parent. FML

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

#21026318
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21774) - you deserved it (48494)

On 01/13/2014 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56003) - you deserved it (5628)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when I got a sudden agonising cramp in my foot. I cried out in pain, but he didn't stop. If anything, my cries of pain seemed to spur him on. FML

#20981691
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44076) - you deserved it (7899)

On 12/05/2013 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Sunderland)

Today, I found on Facebook that my best friend of 10 years is getting married next week. I'm guessing my invite got lost in the mail. FML

#20976772
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44143) - you deserved it (3148)

On 12/01/2013 at 7:43am - misc - by JD - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

#20946325
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26452) - you deserved it (52850)

On 11/05/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Something I said? (man) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: