Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jonjonguapito

Offline (15 hours ago) | Search for a member

jonjonguapito

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 216
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

jonjonguapito's page activity

Visits<b>froggyjtg</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 12:59pm<b>turdoblast</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 5:38pm<b>RockstarJAy</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 12:08am<b>Deathwinner95</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 10:05pm<b>gis0392</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 7:57pm<b>SandyBella</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 5:26pm<b>drshn</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 6:21pm<b>notabeachbabe</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 11:56am<b>okcnation</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 5:55am<b>bellebe1998</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 1:53pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 7:45am<b>airca101</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 11:49pm<b>pinklala15</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 4:21pm<b>Mr10crossing</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 3:27pm<b>2ophiia</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 11:58am<b>Sassie8810</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 1:28am<b>judus18</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 1:00am<b>Timmy1228</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 8:22pm

jonjonguapito's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of jonjonguapito's badges

jonjonguapito's favorite FMLs

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 2 years after eating in a 5-star restaurant. She said that she wasn't ready and that she would walk home by herself, which she did. A homeless gentleman walked up from behind me, patted me on the back and said, "Bitches man." I cried. FML

#21315476
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35727) - you deserved it (2620)

On 12/11/2014 at 7:01am - love - by Brasilian29 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 2 years after eating in a 5-star restaurant. She said that she wasn't ready and that she would walk home by herself, which she did. A homeless gentleman walked up from behind me, patted me on the back and said, "Bitches man." I cried. FML

#21315476
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35727) - you deserved it (2620)

On 12/11/2014 at 7:01am - love - by Brasilian29 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML

#21283066
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41205) - you deserved it (5019)

On 10/22/2014 at 12:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, we spent an entire day without being able to do work because our internet connection was down. Turns out, only the router had crashed and nobody bothered to reset it "to avoid doing further damage". FML

#21263926
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27251) - you deserved it (2852)

On 09/23/2014 at 4:19pm - work - by disconnected (woman) - Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul)

Today, my girlfriend told me that the necklace I gave her wasn't a "unique enough gift." I spent two weeks making that necklace, link by link. FML

#21257946
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42923) - you deserved it (2755)

On 09/14/2014 at 8:53am - love - by NoConfusion (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was waiting on a Canadian tourist at work, and he bought some of the most expensive stuff on the menu. I was excited about maybe getting a big tip, so I casually said that in the USA, waiters make most of our money off tips. The guy just snorted, "Sucks to be American, eh?!" and left. FML

#21127302
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37745) - you deserved it (27843)

On 04/30/2014 at 5:11pm - work - by yes, yes it does :( (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking and saw a quarter. I bent down to pick it up. Barely a foot ahead there was another, so I crawled over to get it. This continued for about six feet when I realize a kid was laying them out in a trail. I had collected 7 fake quarters and the kid had it on video. FML

#21087786
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40612) - you deserved it (19490)

On 03/15/2014 at 11:46pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML

#21083446
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46229) - you deserved it (6782)

On 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was waiting in line at a clothes store when someone cut in in front of me, and the gentlemen in front of me. I shouted, "Hey! Queue starts back here!". He responded by pointing out the "gentlemen" in front was actually a very realistic mannequin. FML

#21056589
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34409) - you deserved it (15363)

On 02/10/2014 at 7:45pm - misc - by QueueJumper (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I got into a slight spot of shit with my new boss over his speech. Apparently he was not actually impersonating Sylvester the Cat, and he just has a speech impediment. When I jokingly said "sufferin' succotash" to him, he wasn't pleased at all. FML

#21056453
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20568) - you deserved it (38624)

On 02/10/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, after 3 months of no orgasms, I was in the shower, working to rectify that. As I was seconds away from coming, my dad loudly knocked on the door and demanded to know how much longer I was going to take. Probably another 3 months now, dad. FML

#21039460
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49478) - you deserved it (8411)

On 01/25/2014 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by sally - United States (Georgia)

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, rather than buying one pork chop big enough for myself, I bought two smaller chops just so the cashier wouldn't think I was eating by myself. FML

#20996744
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35623) - you deserved it (7808)

On 12/18/2013 at 4:30am - love - by LonelyPorkChop - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while trying to break up with my girlfriend, I somehow ended up begging her not to break up with me. I'm still not sure how that happened. FML

#20988052
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38522) - you deserved it (19548)

On 12/10/2013 at 6:38pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Bangladesh



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: