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joniekittycat

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joniekittycat

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 October 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 457
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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joniekittycat's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:35pm

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joniekittycat's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML

#9135717
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31793) - you deserved it (4589)

On 03/16/2010 at 4:51pm - animals - by Adam (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized explosive diarrhea can happen, and at the most inopportune times, such as on the day of MY wedding. At the alter while my husband said his vows. FML

#8658648
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53568) - you deserved it (2776)

On 02/26/2010 at 5:23am - love - by pain (woman) - Japan

Today, I was trying to take the cap off a can of spray cooking oil. It was really stuck so I pulled extra hard. It flew off and I punched myself in the head. I also sprayed myself in the eye with it. The lump on my forehead and my swollen shut eye make me look like Popeye, but I'm a girl. FML

#8636971
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19530) - you deserved it (4794)

On 02/25/2010 at 10:18am - misc - by popeye (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I tried to see if you can kick yourself in the nuts. You can. FML

#8581671
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5358) - you deserved it (60971)

On 02/23/2010 at 4:28am - misc - by nutcracker (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, while I was at my girlfriend's house, I picked up her cat and held him like he was baby Simba. Apparently he didn't enjoy that, because he managed to somehow leap out of my hands and attach himself to my chest, claws extended. I now have four one-inch-long gashes on my chest. FML

#8532673
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7198) - you deserved it (26323)

On 02/21/2010 at 10:14pm - animals - by Rafiki (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, a man I don't know came up to me and started screaming about how "all you damn Mexicans were stealing American's jobs" and he stormed off. I'm Native American, and I'm pretty sure we've been here longer. FML

#7482237
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49447) - you deserved it (3934)

On 01/21/2010 at 7:45pm - misc - by hardtotell (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I opened the cabinet to take a pill for my headache. After taking the pill, I turned around and smashed my head on the open cabinet door. FML

#7475893
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23968) - you deserved it (6839)

On 01/21/2010 at 3:20pm - health - by imalwaystired - Sent from mobile version

Today, after 8 years, I confessed one of my best friends I've been in love with him since we were kiddies. His answer was "Don't worry, I won't stop talking to you." FML

#7333121
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28293) - you deserved it (3422)

On 01/14/2010 at 1:45am - love - by handlin (woman) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)

Today, I was watching Free Willy with my boyfriend. It was at the part where the boy leaned into the water to give Willy a hug. I asked, "How do you even hug a whale?" My boyfriend rolled over and gave me a hug, and said, "Like this." FML

#7165792
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36412) - you deserved it (12967)

On 01/05/2010 at 5:03pm - love - by leigh2812 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

#7139059
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26207) - you deserved it (6645)

On 01/04/2010 at 1:43am - health - by sadface (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, the 6 year old girl I was babysitting asked me, "Why are you so ugly? Are you an alien? Because aliens are about as ugly as you are." FML

#7079923
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33648) - you deserved it (3509)

On 01/01/2010 at 10:41am - kids - by silverstar189 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 7 year old looks at me and states, "When I grow up Mommy I want to be fat just like you." FML

#7050421
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25136) - you deserved it (10106)

On 12/31/2009 at 2:39am - kids - by Missyangel (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw my four-year-old son running around outside, and copying everything our dog was doing. I thought it was cute, so I went to grab the camera. When I went back outside, I saw my dog eating a dead rabbit, and my son doing the same. FML

#6741094
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37528) - you deserved it (5623)

On 12/13/2009 at 7:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML

#6712676
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11560) - you deserved it (36767)

On 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

#6712384
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13897) - you deserved it (34969)

On 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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