jonathanmoore

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jonathanmoore

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 20 July 1997 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 781
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About jonathanmoore : I'm 16 and if you are wondering I'm the one on the right. I play football and basketball and will be a junior this year.

jonathanmoore's page activity

Visits<b>lolo2688</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 3:01pm<b>M_F06_25</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 6:28pm<b>Pogo_Hynes</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 10:22pm<b>koztm</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 1:40am<b>rutalking2me</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 8:16pm<b>loriprieto</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 10:46am<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 9:03pm<b>copy_tht_jojo</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 9:22pm<b>bootytoo</b> - the 09/27/2013 at 4:40pm<b>KarmaIsBeautiful</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 10:59pm<b>miss_chriss</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 11:19pm<b>mcm_3</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 4:06pm<b>hannahsnyder69</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 10:44pm<b>HeartForMusic</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 10:38pm<b>cutycat136</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 10:54am<b>lostangel5</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 7:00pm<b>lydiaterry</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 4:56am<b>tilted_sunlight</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 10:26am

jonathanmoore's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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jonathanmoore's favorite FMLs

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

by SplishSplash / 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, after an argument with my wife, I stormed out of our bedroom through the sliding doors to the balcony. Only there was no balcony, because it still hasn't been replaced yet. I'm now laid-up in hospital. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2013 at 4:13pm / Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz) / Health

Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's last will and testament. My parents, as well as my brothers and sister, all inherited a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because "young Jack always was an immature little shit." FML

by JacksWag4 / 08/16/2013 at 6:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Money

Today, my 12-year-old son was shot in the foot. After hours of not talking, including to the police, he finally told us that his friend accidentally shot him with his dad's gun, and that he didn't want to say anything because he didn't want to "lose any street cred by snitching." FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 12:26am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I received a phone call that started with, "Now stay calm... Your house is on fire." FML

by Anonymous / 08/12/2013 at 10:54pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. I was screaming and writhing in pain, and my eyes were shut for most of the ride to the hospital. We stopped, and I was thrilled because I thought we were at the ER. I was wrong. My dad had stopped to order a cheeseburger. FML

by mcdonalds / 08/06/2013 at 12:11am / United States / Health

Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML

by zackeryburch / 08/03/2013 at 9:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 10-year-old son told my 5-year-old daughter that we're a ghost family, and told her to run through our glass door to see for herself. She believed it, ran straight into the door, and ended up having to be taken to hospital. FML

by Anonymous / 07/31/2013 at 7:19pm / United Kingdom (Falkirk) / Kids

Today, my doctor told me that I suffer from orgasm migraines. Basically, I get an intense migraine that lasts for hours after I have an orgasm. FML

by amanda / 07/23/2013 at 1:17am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

by Anonymous / 07/20/2013 at 11:45am / United States (Delaware) / Work

Today, I called a tree removal company to have my diseased elm removed. When I got home from work, I was surprised to find it still there. Not as surprised as my neighbor was to discover that his tree was missing, nor as surprised as his children when they saw there was no more tree-house. FML

by Anonymous / 07/18/2013 at 10:38am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, while visiting my grandparents, I used one of their blankets to keep warm. Later, I saw their dog getting busy with said blanket. When my grandparents saw my look of horror, they explained that he has "sexual relations" with the blanket every night. Thanks for telling me, guys. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 7:56am / United States / Animals

Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML

by my honest father / 07/10/2013 at 12:33pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, after a haircut, I walked to the cash register, handed the hairdresser a $20 bill and said, "Keep the change." He looked at me with a blank expression and replied, "The haircut costs 25 dollars." FML

by RickTheBoy / 07/10/2013 at 8:38am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got home from work early and discovered why my 17-year-old daughter's sprained elbow isn't getting any better after weeks of treatment. She can't stop giving handjobs. FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2013 at 10:26am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy