jonan1212

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jonan1212

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2783
  • Number of comments : 148
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About jonan1212 : Well, I know your reading this, so I'm psychic

jonan1212's page activity

Visits<b>Snip_Snap</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 4:05pm<b>10220706</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 10:38am<b>keilei</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 3:30am<b>shabadabba</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 12:48pm<b>FigureSkater7713</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 12:42am<b>Dale_shackleford</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 10:44am<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 8:35pm<b>jsb1426</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 12:20pm<b>heroqucas</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 4:59am<b>Roythetickler</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 5:51pm<b>lovelygirl88</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 3:30am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 5:46pm<b>TaylorG147</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 4:08am<b>miss_kay07</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 9:53pm<b>mnm3113</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 4:41am<b>kunjac0945</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 7:40pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 4:25am<b>LilsBills300</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 11:09am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 11:46pm<b>mnm3113</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 10:41am

jonan1212's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of jonan1212's badges

jonan1212's favorite FMLs

Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML

by bride / 02/14/2011 at 1:24am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was waiting for my girlfriend, I wanted to have a serious talk about her hypochondria. She called to cancel because she was (self) diagnosed with some sort of 'neurological disorder'. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2011 at 2:19am / Korea Republic of (Ulsan-gwangyoksi) / Love

Today, whilst driving to the store, an idiot driver found it to be okay to drive ridiculously fast in below freezing temperatures on the ice and snow. As he passed my car, I angrily gave him the finger. And then I realized I was wearing mittens. FML

by Anonymous / 11/25/2010 at 12:24am / United States (Washington) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I tripped on a step that said "Watch your step." Two hours later, I hit my head on a sign that said "Mind your head." FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 1:24am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends took me to a strip club for my 25th birthday. I went onstage with 5 dollars in my mouth to tip the dancer. She then took off my belt and pants and spanked me 25 times with the buckle end of the belt. I paid a stripper 5 dollars to whoop my ass. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2010 at 7:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I found out I have a job interview coming up. For the job I'm currently doing and have been for the last nine months. My manager told me not to expect too much. FML

by innuendom / 09/22/2010 at 2:56am / United Kingdom (London) / Work

Today, I was at the airport baggage collection when I saw an old man struggling to get his very old and heavy suitcase off the belt before giving up. I had already collected my bag, but wanting to be helpful, the old man watched me as I grabbed his handle, yanked and snapped it clean off. FML

by cheekymac / 06/09/2010 at 11:13am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Miscellaneous

Today, the speakers on my laptop weren't working. I worried I'd broken something, and started freaking out. I restarted my computer numerous times and played with the settings for an hour before calling my sister in to help. She looked at it for two seconds, then unplugged my headphones. FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2010 at 1:09pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML

by errrmkl46 / 12/02/2009 at 1:25am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was laughing at a story of a girl who had dropped her cellphone in a hottub and ruined it. As I was feeling pretty good about myself, I then realized that my cellphone was in the pocket of a sweater that I had just thrown in the washer 20 minutes prior. FML

by Cellphonetroubles / 11/19/2009 at 2:36am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing football for my school. I had the ball and was running down the sideline. The guy behind pulled my flag off along with my shorts and boxers. I dove to try to escape and I happened to land on the hottest girl in the class who was on the sideline. I had no pants on. FML

by DangerZone / 11/11/2009 at 10:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to buy lunch at a grocery store. The total was 3 pounds, and my card got rejected for insufficient funds. I fished about for change, and found I only had 2 pounds. A homeless man behind me in the queue then offered to give me the remaining pound. A homeless man paid my lunch. FML

by faentalivetmitt / 07/29/2009 at 10:24am / Norway (Oslo) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was watching this TV show where a man was describing how much he loved this woman, how he made every opportunity to see her, and how he loved her in a way nobody else could. I smiled, because that's exactly the way I feel about my crush. Then I realized the program was about stalkers. FML

by bluten / 03/18/2009 at 12:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I drove into my school. Literally drove into my school. FML

by shilpajayseanfan / 02/24/2009 at 8:43am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation