jonan1212

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jonan1212

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2837
  • Number of comments : 148
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About jonan1212 : Well, I know your reading this, so I'm psychic

jonan1212's page activity

Visits<b>heatintolerant</b> - the 08/31/2016 at 11:08pm<b>Snip_Snap</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 4:05pm<b>10220706</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 10:38am<b>keilei</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 3:30am<b>shabadabba</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 12:48pm<b>FigureSkater7713</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 12:42am<b>Dale_shackleford</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 10:44am<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 8:35pm<b>jsb1426</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 12:20pm<b>heroqucas</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 4:59am<b>Roythetickler</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 5:51pm<b>lovelygirl88</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 3:30am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 5:46pm<b>TaylorG147</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 4:08am<b>miss_kay07</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 9:53pm<b>mnm3113</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 4:41am<b>kunjac0945</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 7:40pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 4:25am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 11:46pm<b>mnm3113</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 10:41am

jonan1212's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of jonan1212's badges

jonan1212's favorite FMLs

Today, desperate after a very painful breakup, I poured my heart and soul out to my old teddy bear. When I finished, I asked what he would do in my situation. Right on cue, a gust of wind came through the window and sent him falling off the windowsill and crashing head-first onto the floor. FML

by Angie / 09/09/2011 at 7:18pm / France / Love

Today, I received an email from my boyfriend. It contained a link to a site that was titled "How to Give Head". It also said "Have a nice day!" FML

by thismakesmesad / 09/07/2011 at 12:16pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, my parents canceled the Internet at our house because they view it as a "passing fad." FML

by doughgirl101 / 09/07/2011 at 1:59am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, a five year old that I am babysitting picked up a knife and said he would chop my nuts off if I didn't give him his ice cream before dinner. Only 5 more hours to go. FML

by thatoneguy / 09/05/2011 at 4:23pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, a five year old that I am babysitting picked up a knife and said he would chop my nuts off if I didn't give him his ice cream before dinner. Only 5 more hours to go. FML

by thatoneguy / 09/05/2011 at 4:23pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I noticed a young child wandering out onto a busy street. I managed to grab his arm just as he stepped off the sidewalk and yank him away from almost certain death. My reward was his mother, who was on her cell phone the whole time, screaming at me for touching her child. FML

by Anonymous / 08/31/2011 at 1:06pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I got suspended for bringing a "hazardous weapon" to school. They were earrings. FML

by christine brown / 08/26/2011 at 8:03am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my mother-in-law is house hunting in my town. There is a house for sale 2 doors down from me. In her price range. FML

by momma6126 / 08/25/2011 at 12:47am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I fell asleep at the beach. My friends took the opportunity to bury me in the sand, place food all around me, and wait for a flock of hungry seagulls to attack me. To top it off, they taped it all. FML

by Anonymous / 08/13/2011 at 3:12pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the beach. While I was swimming, I noticed a few really hot guys passing. Trying to be sexy, I slowly got out of the water, showing off my body. I showed a bit more than I expected when I realized my bikini bottom had fallen off. FML

by iannie / 07/31/2011 at 5:45pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I went to a concert with a friend of mine. When his dad came to pick him up, I walked towards the car, expecting a ride. His dad told me he didn't have time to drive me home. I'm his neighbour. FML

by Evan Chong / 07/13/2011 at 10:48am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'd just finished cleaning the bathrooms at work when I saw a young boy go in. Of course, I thought nothing of it until I had to use the bathroom myself ten minutes later. The kid had taken a shit and missed the toilet completely. FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2011 at 3:43pm / United States (South Carolina) / Work

Today, I sent my romantic interest a sexy text about a dream I had about a "sex gameshow." I sent it by replying to the last text sent. I'm now responsible for traumatizing my 12 year old niece who could only reply, "Like Jeopardy?" FML

by PandaMantis / 06/25/2011 at 12:32am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I painted my daughter's bedroom. When I wasn't paying attention, the cat walked through the paint tray. There are now Barney purple paw prints all over the house. FML

by Barney / 06/18/2011 at 12:10pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals

Today, my family went on vacation. I had to stay home to take care of everyone's animals. I called my mom, she said she was too busy to talk to me. My sister asked who was on the phone, she replied "the dog sitter." FML

by crapped on / 06/16/2011 at 2:25am / United States / Animals