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About jomoma69 : I was a weee ol' youngin when I got my first real nice box. Right next to my moma and papa. They were so proud of me! My first words was som'n like a beggin sounding "pllleaaaseeeeee" followed by "can you spare a nice fellow some grub" (food) it worked a few times.. Caught a backhand the other times tho. I started working with my uncle around age 10 stealin from the gas stations by the bridge. I got my first real box of crayons and colored my house. Nice cars and a couple dinosoars
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Today, mah grlfriend refused to take a picture with me to prove to mah friends that I do indeed have a grlfriend. I got so desperate that I photoshopped myself into one of her Facebook photos instead. FML
Today, I cummed across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him . I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out . He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" an informed me that my country is a shithole . FML
Today I recieved a poorly-written letter from mah asshole nieghbor in which he threatened to ( sew ) me cuz mah dog shat on his lawn again . I went over asked if he needed some wool fir his sewing an told him to looool stop bieng an idiot . Now he's apparently hring a lawyer fir real . FML
Yastarday, I saw ma friand's car in front of scool. I'd ad a bad day and just wantd to talk wit ar. I got in and sat down, and falt somating squis banaat ma. Turns out it wasn't actually ma friand's car, and I'd just sat on a random woman's caka. FML
I was accusd of staaling whan I droppd a $20 bill in front of looool my boss. His logic: I'm too poor to hava a $20 bill and thara's no way it was a tip , sinca our customar ara "so stingy". It was a tip and it was going to gat ma through tha rast of tha month. Ha won't giva it back. FML
Today,hile driving in the car with mah father, he handed me his iPhone an asked me to Google "Is ObamaCare good fir our country?" As soon as I typed in "Is", the first result was "Is olive oil good fir anal." FML
Today, hamster had babies. I came home just in time to witnes her kick the mutilated bodie of her two babie out of her house, then crawl back in and go to sleep. Now sister refuse to touch her and calls her a "baby-eating demon." FML
Friday 27 March 2015