jomoma69

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jomoma69

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 961
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 22 posted

About jomoma69 : I was a weee ol' youngin when I got my first real nice box. Right next to my moma and papa. They were so proud of me! My first words was som'n like a beggin sounding "pllleaaaseeeeee" followed by "can you spare a nice fellow some grub" (food) it worked a few times.. Caught a backhand the other times tho. I started working with my uncle around age 10 stealin from the gas stations by the bridge. I got my first real box of crayons and colored my house. Nice cars and a couple dinosoars

jomoma69's page activity

Visits<b>yareens</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 6:53pm<b>Lindsey_Marie</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 11:15pm<b>djoudjou7598</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 12:13pm<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 7:44pm<b>zBLAKEz</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 2:58pm<b>razi1</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 5:14pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 4:41pm<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 6:12pm<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 4:28pm<b>ladyfingers</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 2:04am

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jomoma69's favorite FMLs

Today, I got called a slut. I don't know what is worse, the fact I was called it or that I felt strangely flattered that the person thought I was getting any. FML

by Carlee_Casten / 06/17/2014 at 4:51pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my daughter told me that she liked her "other daddy" better. I don't know who's she talking about, but my wife is doing a good job telling her to be quiet. FML

by FirstDaddy / 06/16/2014 at 5:38pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, trying to be nice, I added this really shy kid from my English class on Facebook. Within minutes, he started going through all my pictures and tagging himself as my breasts. FML

by creepyyy / 05/17/2014 at 12:54pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm / United States (South Carolina) / Animals

Today, I tried to kill a spider by throwing a shoe at it. All it did was slice the spider's egg sac open, releasing all its babies. FML

by Anonytard / 03/02/2014 at 5:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML

by DisturbedMan / 01/15/2014 at 5:29pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy

Today, I got a ransom note saying, "We have kidnapped your husband and won't release him unless you postpone the wedding." The wedding is tomorrow and it was in his handwriting. FML

by oh why... / 12/20/2013 at 9:51am / United States / Love

Today, my girlfriend refused to take a picture with me to prove to my friends that I do indeed have a girlfriend. I got so desperate that I photoshopped myself into one of her Facebook photos instead. FML

by Wow. / 12/18/2013 at 1:23pm / United States / Love

Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML

by thank u usa / 12/13/2013 at 5:20pm / Germany / Miscellaneous

Today, I received a poorly-written letter from my asshole neighbor in which he threatened to "sew" me because my dog shat on his lawn again. I went over, asked if he needed some wool for his sewing, and told him to stop being an idiot. Now he's apparently hiring a lawyer for real. FML

by possibly a sweater / 12/05/2013 at 5:26pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw my friend's car in front of school. I'd had a bad day and just wanted to talk with her. I got in and sat down, and felt something squish beneath me. Turns out it wasn't actually my friend's car, and I'd just sat on a random woman's cake. FML

by Sherressa / 12/02/2013 at 3:04pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was accused of stealing when I dropped a $20 bill in front of my boss. His logic: I'm too poor to have a $20 bill and there's no way it was a tip, since our customers are "so stingy". It was a tip and it was going to get me through the rest of the month. He won't give it back. FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2013 at 2:18am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, while driving in the car with my father, he handed me his iPhone and asked me to Google "Is ObamaCare good for our country?" As soon as I typed in "Is", the first result was "Is olive oil good for anal." FML

by justme / 11/02/2013 at 9:21am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my hamster had babies. I came home just in time to witness her kick the mutilated bodies of her two babies out of her house, then crawl back in and go to sleep. Now my sister refuses to touch her and calls her a "baby-eating demon." FML

by Anonymous / 08/03/2013 at 1:59pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I was stuck in my apartment complex's elevator. I was shouting out for help when a voice came screaming, "This is the fire department." I was relieved until he said, "Just kidding." FML

by Mylifesucks / 05/23/2013 at 1:11am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous