joker_smile_1313

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joker_smile_1313

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 February 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1338
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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joker_smile_1313's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:10pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:04am<b>MorbidMalice</b> - the 12/05/2009 at 5:20am<b>johnjon</b> - the 07/13/2009 at 5:11am<b>ha</b> - the 06/17/2009 at 6:10am<b>mandyreid_</b> - the 06/15/2009 at 7:32pm<b>muffy_da_bear</b> - the 05/16/2009 at 10:03pm<b>Shanny</b> - the 04/19/2009 at 4:18pm<b>pickles86</b> - the 04/14/2009 at 4:18pm<b>Nottooeffed</b> - the 04/11/2009 at 2:58am<b>rosee143</b> - the 04/10/2009 at 2:48pm<b>amirn86</b> - the 04/08/2009 at 1:09am<b>KAiTC021</b> - the 04/07/2009 at 10:57pm<b>sweetheart5292</b> - the 04/07/2009 at 5:18pm<b>Creat1ve</b> - the 04/07/2009 at 3:54pm<b>kkkristennnn</b> - the 04/07/2009 at 9:29am<b>Ineffableturtle</b> - the 04/07/2009 at 12:16am<b>volcomhunn64</b> - the 04/06/2009 at 9:40pm

joker_smile_1313's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

joker_smile_1313's favorite FMLs

Today, I made a patient really happy. I work in a long term care facility and was changing a woman's diaper. While cleaning her, I somehow managed to give her an orgasm with a warm wash cloth. FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2009 at 2:40am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 12:46am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML

by Melaknee / 03/18/2009 at 8:10pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I yelled at my spouse in front of 20 guests for not coming to blow out his birthday cake candles. Turns out he was in the other room, quietly changing his disabled friend's diaper. FML

by Noname / 03/14/2009 at 11:16am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I decided it would be pretty amusing to press the "Like" button on everyone's status on Facebook without reading them just to get on peoples' nerves. After re-reading them later, I found out one of them said "I MISS YOU SOO MUCH GRANDMOM. RIP". I liked that her grandmother died. FML

by like / 03/14/2009 at 1:50am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Geek

Today, I called a priest "lame". He responded jokingly with "God will smite you!" I laughed and walked out the door. I tripped and broke my ankle. FML

by lolzor / 03/12/2009 at 8:07am / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML

by ihavepinkbackpac / 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my teacher confiscated my cell phone for text messaging. He said he would give it back if the next text that I would receive was important. I prayed the guy I've been texting didn't send the dick pic he said he was going to. He did. FML

by textfail / 02/28/2009 at 12:03pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I went in for my 2nd day working at my internship. My bosses greeted me and told me we were going to have a meeting. The meeting was to listen to the drunk voicemails I left them on Saturday. FML

by Noname / 02/16/2009 at 1:23pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my husband found the box my morning after pill came in. He had a vasectomy 10 years ago. FML

by apricot / 02/09/2009 at 7:46pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Intimacy

Today, whilst reading all 15 pages of this site, my French girlfriend asked me over my shoulder for translations, such as "What is buttsex?", "What is wanking?", and "What means farted?" FML

by james / 12/14/2008 at 8:14am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, I surprise my girlfriend by turning up at her flat on her twenty-fourth birthday. She gets up from the couch as I enter and I shout: "Tonight, my cock is going to stab you twenty-four times!" (Okay, that's not smart). That's when her father glances over from the couch and greets me. FML

by Mateo / 12/13/2008 at 10:58pm / Intimacy

Today, whilst chatting with my mum on MSN, she unintentionally sent me an animated emoticon of a penis jerking off repeatedly. I don't even want to know the type of conversation she was having. FML

by Dina / 11/23/2008 at 4:24am / Intimacy