joker_smile_1313

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joker_smile_1313

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 February 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1306
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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joker_smile_1313's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:10pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:04am<b>MorbidMalice</b> - the 12/05/2009 at 5:20am<b>johnjon</b> - the 07/13/2009 at 5:11am<b>ha</b> - the 06/17/2009 at 6:10am<b>mandyreid_</b> - the 06/15/2009 at 7:32pm<b>muffy_da_bear</b> - the 05/16/2009 at 10:03pm<b>Shanny</b> - the 04/19/2009 at 4:18pm<b>pickles86</b> - the 04/14/2009 at 4:18pm<b>Nottooeffed</b> - the 04/11/2009 at 2:58am<b>rosee143</b> - the 04/10/2009 at 2:48pm<b>amirn86</b> - the 04/08/2009 at 1:09am<b>KAiTC021</b> - the 04/07/2009 at 10:57pm<b>sweetheart5292</b> - the 04/07/2009 at 5:18pm<b>Creat1ve</b> - the 04/07/2009 at 3:54pm<b>kkkristennnn</b> - the 04/07/2009 at 9:29am<b>Ineffableturtle</b> - the 04/07/2009 at 12:16am<b>volcomhunn64</b> - the 04/06/2009 at 9:40pm

joker_smile_1313's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

joker_smile_1313's favorite FMLs

Today, during a review session for a botany class, I began to space out. Then, I started to go, "beep, beep, beep, beep." I stopped when I noticed the entire class staring at me as if I were insane. This was not the first time this had happened. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2009 at 4:29am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my greatgrandpa came over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, he pooped himself. My family went through the rest of the meal acting like we hadn't noticed to avoid embarassment. As it was coming to an end, my sister came home and immediately yelled, "Ew! Did someone poop?" He cried. FML

by PoorGramps / 12/09/2009 at 2:39am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my dorm room. He was naked and was peeing into my water bottle. He kept asking for Chris. I have no idea who Chris is. FML

by thewallrules / 12/05/2009 at 9:10am / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I stopped by the gun store to pick up a new concealed weapon for protection. As I was leaving the store, a man came up behind me, hit me with a crowbar, and stole my gun. FML

by lamed / 12/04/2009 at 5:01pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I fainted for the first time in my life. I was in the shower. With my girlfriend. Apparently, my brain and my erection had a battle for who got the most blood, and my erection won. FML

by Silent / 12/03/2009 at 12:50pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Intimacy

Today, me and my girlfriend were riding on my motorcycle. While at a stop light, she started to make these weird noises. Turns out she was having an orgasm. I still can't give her one. FML

by Anonymous / 11/30/2009 at 3:35pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was opening up to my close friend about my low self esteem. To make me feel better, he told me that he gets a boner whenever he walks behind me. FML

by anonymous / 11/27/2009 at 4:20am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML

by sickkid / 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, a cat came up to me on the pavement so I petted it a little. An elderly man rode past on his bicycle and shouted "I'd like to stroke your pussy too!" FML

by pussystroker / 11/19/2009 at 12:20pm / United Kingdom (Peterborough) / Intimacy

Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly get really big, it means she's going to maul your face. FML

by nycplywood / 11/18/2009 at 4:01pm / United States (Minnesota) / Animals

Today, after months of trying to potty train my son, he finally told me he used the potty. I went to the bathroom to check. There was nothing there. So I asked him "Where did you go to the potty?". He then grabbed my hand and took me to the cat's litter box. My son has successfully litter trained himself. FML

by anonymous / 11/16/2009 at 1:00am / Japan (Okinawa) / Kids

Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML

by TheMichaelNixon / 11/14/2009 at 4:37pm / United States (Tennessee) / Animals

Today, I was at a party where I ate a bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML

by swedishdude / 11/14/2009 at 8:37am / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the movies. Not only did the movie end up being awful, but I came to my car to find out someone drew Squidward from "SpongeBob" with large letters spelling "I LIKE POTATOES!" on my windshield. In permanent marker. FML

by squidwardpotatoes / 11/14/2009 at 6:08am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I was volunteering at a zoo event for special needs kids. My job was to dress up in a kangaroo costume and greet the kids. One kid came up and said "You're not real!" and kicked me in the nuts. FML

by Hackmanjones / 06/13/2009 at 10:42am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids