jojo1031

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jojo1031

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8198
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jojo1031 : I really HATE fake FMLs.

jojo1031's page activity

Visits<b>junjunbun</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 6:26am<b>Stxsyh</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 11:55am<b>pear_flavored</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 6:46pm<b>MalcolmRodrigues</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 7:10am<b>Trollx</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 8:50am<b>planetliam12</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 1:25pm<b>lastunusedname</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 8:22pm<b>Corvo_Attano</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 9:41pm<b>Timf1998</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 2:57pm<b>Eire17</b> - the 05/29/2013 at 5:03pm<b>xnty</b> - the 02/23/2010 at 9:13pm<b>O0HLOV</b> - the 12/25/2009 at 2:42am<b>jenandme123</b> - the 05/19/2009 at 1:51am<b>sluttywhore69</b> - the 05/12/2009 at 10:38pm<b>bamfanr94</b> - the 05/03/2009 at 2:35am<b>krazzygood</b> - the 05/02/2009 at 7:09pm<b>wnv_11</b> - the 04/09/2009 at 4:14am<b>huzy_8</b> - the 03/23/2009 at 6:43pm

jojo1031's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jojo1031's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother finally had her beloved Siamese cat cremated. The cat has been dead for over a week and she has been keeping it on her bed, stroking its fur and saying, "She looks like she's sleeping" and "She's so cold." To top it all off, she's been calling me by the cat's name for three years. FML

by LJ / 03/12/2009 at 10:20pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

by Noname / 03/12/2009 at 5:30am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy

Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML

by TuralSucks / 03/10/2009 at 9:10pm / United States (Nebraska) / Love

Today, I bought a parakeet for my kids. When I got home and presented it to them, they wanted to let him fly around inside. We went around the house making sure all the windows and doors were shut. Unfortunately I forgot to turn off the ceiling fan. FML

by Noname / 03/10/2009 at 8:10pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend bought me a Nickelback CD. FML

by deez_nutz / 03/10/2009 at 8:46am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in to the doctors to test for any allergies. I did what she had asked and went to my room. I came down stairs later and found her in the bathroom putting my pee on a pregnancy test stick. FML

by missy / 03/09/2009 at 6:54pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking from my office to the place i had parked my car, a distance of approximately three blocks. As I was about to round the last corner I was forced to dive out of the way of a speeding car. As I looked up, I noticed that it was my car. FML

by Chops / 03/09/2009 at 2:35am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask this really cute girl out I've had a crush on for over eight months. Turns out she isn't a girl. FML

by goodbye / 03/08/2009 at 8:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, at the restaurant where I work, I served a table of 4 middle-age women. Before greeting the table, I was deciding between saying "Can I get you anything to drink?" and "Can I start you off with something?" My actual greeting? "Can I get you ladies off?" FML

by serverdessert / 03/08/2009 at 5:02pm / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, someone stole my phone at a concert. They decided it would be funny to text my mom saying I was pregnant. FML

by kelsey / 03/08/2009 at 2:10pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working at Target when an old woman asked me if I could help her find her favorite bra. I asked what brand it was when she replied "I'll check the tag". She lifted up the front of her shirt, and flipped one cup of her bra inside out. I saw everything. FML

by laurenmay / 03/06/2009 at 6:11pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity filled. As she's drilling into my tooth, I feel the drill slip, and then she quickly stuffs gauze into my mouth. She nervously laughs and says to me "Wow! You must really be numb!" FML

by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 5:20pm / United States (Connecticut) / Health

Today, there was a story called "Looking Good" about fashion in school that ran in the local newspaper. On the front page of that section it featured a picture of my class. I was photoshopped out. FML

by failout / 03/05/2009 at 4:36pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, an elderly gentleman walked into the UPS Store where I work asking to use the laminating machine. I explained to him that we keep it behind the counter and I would do it for him, when he produced several graphic photos of him having it off with nasty looking women to be laminated. FML

by UhhhUhhhRRRick / 03/05/2009 at 12:14am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I went to the jewelry store to sell my wedding ring after a long and painful divorce. The shop owner took one look at it and called the cops because I tried to sell him a diamond ring that had been stolen from him 3 years ago. My ex-husband left the country a week ago. FML

by ringmaster101 / 03/04/2009 at 6:42pm / United States (California) / Love