johnnyrogers97

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johnnyrogers97

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 24 November 1997 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 898
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About johnnyrogers97 : Just someone who loves hearing stories

johnnyrogers97's page activity

Visits<b>dominguez89</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 3:13am<b>DenBriZel</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 5:45am<b>becccers</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 5:08am<b>DaDezza244</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 3:54am<b>pandamanpants</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 10:00pm<b>delhh</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 5:00am<b>Gemma_Mansonite</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 3:44am<b>reneetlovesyou</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 6:22am<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 10:45am<b>efettes</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 1:22am<b>hotdaddy</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 10:45pm<b>chezburgerfairy</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 10:46pm<b>meowwrongnotacat</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 3:35pm<b>LiiaaBee</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 3:00pm<b>windfuelsfire</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 2:00am<b>Championing</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 9:32pm<b>mordecaiandrigby</b> - the 06/20/2013 at 10:27pm<b>AnnekaLH</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 1:51am

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johnnyrogers97's favorite FMLs

Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML

by Anonymous / 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML

by DogLover / 02/06/2013 at 8:59am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML

by Creeped out / 01/28/2013 at 3:14am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought maybe I should go to my doctor because my hips crack every time I take a step. But she's also my recently ex-boyfriend's mom, so I have to choose between being in constant pain or having my doctor poke at my hips while asking me why I'm no longer dating her son. FML

by ouch / 01/21/2013 at 9:41pm / Canada (Prince Edward Island) / Health

Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML

by Nightmare / 01/15/2013 at 9:41am / Kids

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML

by I think its dead / 01/15/2013 at 2:33am / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals

Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML

by Bouh / 12/26/2012 at 11:04pm / Love

Today, I went on a date. He stole my credit card. FML

by elphi / 12/15/2012 at 1:11am / United States (Illinois) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I played a game of Monopoly with my friends. Since I'm of Greek origin, they thought it would be funny to make me start with a €100,000 debt. FML

by Money-money-money / 12/13/2012 at 9:25pm / France / Money

Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML

by Bratty son / 10/23/2012 at 12:25am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, while mowing the lawn, I was attacked by an underground hornet nest. I now have many stings, two scared dogs, and a mower still running outside. The hornets are swarming it and some are sitting on the lever, as if to turn it off. It's like they know. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2012 at 4:08pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss captured a huge spider and put it in a jar on the desk in our shop. He's named it Fluffy and is threatening to fire me if I harm it. I'm horribly arachnophobic and we share that desk. FML

by Anonymous / 10/04/2012 at 10:02pm / United States / Work

Today, I asked a girl out. She replied, "Sorry, I'm suddenly a lesbian." FML

by imafunguy / 10/04/2012 at 8:28pm / United States / Love

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML

by steve / 09/05/2012 at 4:14am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, I learned I'm not allergic to gluten. My mom has kept me on a gluten free diet since I was 5. She was convinced I was allergic to it. I'm 25 and I am writing this over my first slice of pizza in 20 years. FML

by Emma / 09/04/2012 at 5:38pm / United States (Missouri) / Health