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johnnynumnuts

Offline (the 08/10/2014 at 8:26am) | Search for a member

johnnynumnuts

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 378
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About johnnynumnuts : Living like Larry. 15 years old and loving it.

johnnynumnuts's page activity

Visits<b>Smiley_70</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 3:02am<b>cleo_ann</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 9:54am<b>mets300</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 10:48am<b>Kar0</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 6:37pm<b>broderickc</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 12:12am<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 11:24am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 12:30am<b>euphoricness</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 11:33pm<b>abbbeyS</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 11:37pm<b>alexa_fike</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 9:29pm<b>SadGirl18</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 10:35pm<b>JazmineSkyy</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 4:24pm<b>tatersalad123</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 9:00am<b>beatlesgirl2u2</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 11:55am<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 8:07pm<b>loriprieto</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 6:56pm<b>badsmith</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 6:55pm<b>n_bagg05</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 11:44pm

johnnynumnuts's FML badges

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of johnnynumnuts's badges

johnnynumnuts's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at my family reunion. I've always hated my family. I walked up behind my husband and said, "I can't wait to go home and make love." My husband turned around. It was my uncle wearing the same hat as my husband. FML

#17601670
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17930) - you deserved it (35567)

On 08/28/2011 at 2:18am - intimacy - by dev - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while out shopping, I noticed a seedy bum kept following a girl around the store. Trying to be a good samaritan, I trailed them into the street. The bum jogged up behind her and looked like he was about to grab her, so I ran up and tackled him to the ground. Turns out he was her father. FML

#17471186
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22769) - you deserved it (13573)

On 08/14/2011 at 3:31pm - misc - by fuck (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I walked through a spider's web with hundreds of baby spiders on it. My afro is now infested. FML

#16129508
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45728) - you deserved it (15786)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:34pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I was having some intense sex with my boyfriend. I was wailing so loud that my neighbors decided to call the police on us. According to them, it sounded like I was "being tortured to death". FML

#15698653
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18128) - you deserved it (33607)

On 04/08/2011 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was making love to my wife from behind. As we both reached climax at the same time, she threw her head back in ecstasy just as I buckled forward with pleasure. We slammed our heads together, effectively ending our orgasms. FML

#15636235
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39671) - you deserved it (10956)

On 04/04/2011 at 2:29pm - intimacy - by Abyssal (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML

#15336474
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46206) - you deserved it (8132)

On 03/16/2011 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by thisblows - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

#14753781
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48624) - you deserved it (3973) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Anonymous - France

Today, I realised it takes me longer to take a dump than it does to have sex with my boyfriend. I also realised taking a dump is more satisfying. FML

#14442840
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34956) - you deserved it (5829)

On 01/02/2011 at 8:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says "Wow, this is just too funny". FML

#14386335
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27490) - you deserved it (5660)

On 12/29/2010 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that whenever my best friend used to say she wanted to do my dad, she wasn't kidding. She accomplished her mission in my bed after school. FML

#12851592
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52114) - you deserved it (4072)

On 09/01/2010 at 7:10am - intimacy - by fmlskank93 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while at work I tripped and fell in the pool while moving a waste basket. I nearly drowned and had to be saved. I don't know which is worse the fact that I nearly drowned or the fact that I'm a lifeguard. FML

#12236841
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25740) - you deserved it (11829)

On 08/01/2010 at 12:23am - work - by lifeguard down - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML

#12051058
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34975) - you deserved it (15108)

On 07/22/2010 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

#11389778
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17936) - you deserved it (56709)

On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)

Today, I was in my room, in my briefs and texting my girlfriend. Suddenly, I got a massive erection and I decided to take a picture to send her. As soon as my camera phone clicked, my mom walked in. You can see my mom in the picture screaming at me. FML

#8861010
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9022) - you deserved it (26403)

On 03/06/2010 at 1:10am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I got a 95 on my term project. To congratulate me, my boyfriend said we're having sex tonight. I only get laid if I get good grades. FML

#8821519
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23964) - you deserved it (5820)

On 03/04/2010 at 10:48am - intimacy - by lalararara - United States



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