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johnnynumnuts

Offline (the 08/10/2014 at 8:26am) | Search for a member

johnnynumnuts

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 316
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About johnnynumnuts : Living like Larry. 15 years old and loving it.

johnnynumnuts's page activity

Visits<b>Smiley_70</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 11:45am<b>cleo_ann</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 9:54am<b>mets300</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 10:48am<b>Kar0</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 6:37pm<b>broderickc</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 12:12am<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 11:24am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 12:30am<b>euphoricness</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 11:33pm<b>abbbeyS</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 11:37pm<b>alexa_fike</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 9:29pm<b>SadGirl18</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 10:35pm<b>JazmineSkyy</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 4:24pm<b>tatersalad123</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 9:00am<b>beatlesgirl2u2</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 11:55am<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 8:07pm<b>loriprieto</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 6:56pm<b>badsmith</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 6:55pm<b>n_bagg05</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 11:44pm

johnnynumnuts's FML badges

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of johnnynumnuts's badges

johnnynumnuts's favorite FMLs

Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML

#20155904
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39883) - you deserved it (1818)

On 11/09/2012 at 2:18am - love - by SebastianMiko (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend actually held onto my love handles while we were having sex. He said they "made it easier." FML

#20039086
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22964) - you deserved it (9218)

On 08/24/2012 at 9:53am - intimacy - by chunkymonkey (woman) - United States

Today, I was in the shower, when I heard my daughter scream and shout, "Mommy, mommy! Help! Come quick!" I panicked and rushed downstairs without even looking for a towel to cover myself, all so I could find out she'd just gotten a piece of dirt on her shoe. FML

#19881978
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21483) - you deserved it (2414)

On 07/02/2012 at 5:17pm - kids - by Sh*t (woman) - Venezuela (Distrito Federal)

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

#19791702
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12077) - you deserved it (25716)

On 06/15/2012 at 10:21am - kids - by habbsrule - Canada

Today, while hiking and wearing sandals, I stubbed my toe. This wouldn't have been so bad had it not been into a cactus with 3 inch thorns. FML

#19335625
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9771) - you deserved it (27177)

On 03/23/2012 at 10:42pm - health - by Anon - United States

Today, I sneezed while at the office. I felt snot shoot out, but I couldn't see anything on the tissue. I ignored it and went on with my day. When I went to the bathroom hours later, I noticed a huge wad of snot had dried onto the front of my shirt. No one told me about it. FML

#19214388
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20988) - you deserved it (3677)

On 03/04/2012 at 2:36pm - health - by breebree-0 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took off my sweatshirt in the middle of class. The tanktop I was wearing underneath went with it. FML

#18980998
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28898) - you deserved it (7319)

On 02/02/2012 at 11:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I passed out in the shower with my boyfriend. He just left me there. FML

#18916162
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27399) - you deserved it (4598)

On 01/26/2012 at 2:09pm - love - by soawkward - Canada (Quebec)

Today, in the spirit of Christmas, I let a spider live in my room. I normally kill them, because I'm scared of waking up with one on my face. I woke up with it on my face. FML

#18633962
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29580) - you deserved it (21211)

On 12/28/2011 at 12:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I popped a boner while my braces were being tightened. FML

#18309491
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33106) - you deserved it (6814)

On 11/21/2011 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, my mother panicked and was about to report me missing when I didn't answer her calls while I was at a movie. I'm 31, and have lived on my own for over 10 years. FML

#18182410
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32414) - you deserved it (2374)

On 11/07/2011 at 7:13am - misc - by maf811 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

#18083202
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40459) - you deserved it (5223)

On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML

#18048411
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14553) - you deserved it (45695)

On 10/22/2011 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to my gyn to see what a painful lump is under my armpit. Turns out it's breast tissue, and yes, it will fill up with milk when I'm pregnant. I essentially have three boobs. FML

#17743862
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34305) - you deserved it (2357)

On 09/14/2011 at 12:34pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I learned what it felt like to get shot in the nuts by an airsoft gun. Thank you, Mom. FML

#17634185
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28998) - you deserved it (4246)

On 09/01/2011 at 6:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States



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