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johnnynumnuts

Offline (the 03/17/2015 at 7:22pm) | Search for a member

johnnynumnuts

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johnnynumnutsjohnnynumnuts
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 18 June 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 823
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About johnnynumnuts : Add me on Sc: Nickkessler98, or message me!

johnnynumnuts's page activity

Visits<b>holymacabre</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 10:19am<b>annarcheer</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 9:20pm<b>Schoolsystem</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 10:26pm<b>deidradanielle</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 7:13am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 11:47pm<b>Sassy_Kitten96</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 9:51pm<b>Ashd09</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 9:26pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 7:56pm<b>casey_bishhh</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 6:48pm<b>Araj_Hs</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 5:54pm<b>aishah77</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 2:41pm<b>arasx0</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 8:38pm<b>Peachtranquility</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 1:09pm<b>cappellaaa</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 10:21pm<b>taylor21398</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 2:34am<b>hkhan24</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 1:59am<b>Sethan01</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 12:02am<b>Truckbarbie123</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 11:59pm

Fucked!<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 4:48am

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johnnynumnuts's favorite FMLs

Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML

#20470929
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48934) - you deserved it (5879)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by airbiscuit (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML

#20465889
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60501) - you deserved it (6957)

On 01/18/2013 at 5:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went on a date. He stole my credit card. FML

Today, I dutifully attended my husband's local gig at a coffee shop. I thus found out, through song, about my husband's affair, in front of about 100 people. All of whom we both know. FML

Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML

#20155904
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42289) - you deserved it (1941)

On 11/09/2012 at 2:18am - love - by SebastianMiko (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend actually held onto my love handles while we were having sex. He said they "made it easier." FML

#20039086
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23221) - you deserved it (9257)

On 08/24/2012 at 9:53am - intimacy - by chunkymonkey (woman) - United States

Today, I was in the shower, when I heard my daughter scream and shout, "Mommy, mommy! Help! Come quick!" I panicked and rushed downstairs without even looking for a towel to cover myself, all so I could find out she'd just gotten a piece of dirt on her shoe. FML

#19881978
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23415) - you deserved it (2598)

On 07/02/2012 at 5:17pm - kids - by Sh*t (woman) - Venezuela (Distrito Federal)

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

#19791702
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12892) - you deserved it (26694)

On 06/15/2012 at 10:21am - kids - by habbsrule - Canada

Today, while hiking and wearing sandals, I stubbed my toe. This wouldn't have been so bad had it not been into a cactus with 3 inch thorns. FML

#19335625
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9871) - you deserved it (27451)

On 03/23/2012 at 10:42pm - health - by Anon - United States

Today, I sneezed while at the office. I felt snot shoot out, but I couldn't see anything on the tissue. I ignored it and went on with my day. When I went to the bathroom hours later, I noticed a huge wad of snot had dried onto the front of my shirt. No one told me about it. FML

#19214388
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21223) - you deserved it (3709)

On 03/04/2012 at 2:36pm - health - by breebree-0 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took off my sweatshirt in the middle of class. The tanktop I was wearing underneath went with it. FML

#18980998
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30867) - you deserved it (7616)

On 02/02/2012 at 11:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I passed out in the shower with my boyfriend. He just left me there. FML

#18916162
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28221) - you deserved it (4682)

On 01/26/2012 at 2:09pm - love - by soawkward - Canada (Quebec)

Today, in the spirit of Christmas, I let a spider live in my room. I normally kill them, because I'm scared of waking up with one on my face. I woke up with it on my face. FML

#18633962
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31592) - you deserved it (22152)

On 12/28/2011 at 12:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I popped a boner while my braces were being tightened. FML

#18309491
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34665) - you deserved it (7013)

On 11/21/2011 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, my mother panicked and was about to report me missing when I didn't answer her calls while I was at a movie. I'm 31, and have lived on my own for over 10 years. FML

#18182410
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33162) - you deserved it (2422)

On 11/07/2011 at 7:13am - misc - by maf811 - United States (Texas)



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