johnnynumnuts

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johnnynumnuts

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johnnynumnutsjohnnynumnuts
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 18 June 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1492
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About johnnynumnuts : Louisville, Kentucky.

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johnnynumnuts's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 6:52am<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 12:10am<b>Kitteh8601</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 1:43pm<b>_itsbridgett</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 9:15pm<b>samanthaelena</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 6:03pm<b>neneluvsyooh</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 11:45pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 1:12am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 2:11am<b>princesskammm</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 9:42am<b>tpagacz</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 1:33am<b>reaaaagan6</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 12:41am<b>Mons</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 12:24am<b>shufflyn</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 10:09am<b>violentsneezes</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 11:13pm<b>lchollett</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 9:27pm<b>ginnyboo</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 12:09am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 11:15pm<b>mallaryheintz</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 9:33pm

Fucked!<b>Kitteh8601</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 12:10am<b>_itsbridgett</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 3:16am<b>neneluvsyooh</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 4:38am<b>violentsneezes</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 8:16pm<b>ginnyboo</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 6:09am<b>lchollett</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 2:35am<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 7:11am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 4:48am

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johnnynumnuts's favorite FMLs

Today, my company is doing so bad that I had to take down my symbolic first dollar so that I could buy a roll of crackers for dinner. FML

by smurftastic / 09/02/2013 at 11:03pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML

by Kiddo / 09/02/2013 at 2:49am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that Cheetos are flammable, as is my hair. FML

by ClaireWinchester / 09/01/2013 at 8:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, half-way through my trip to Florida, I received a call from my friend of six years. "I sort of had sex with your girlfriend while you were gone." He said it "just sort of happened." FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2013 at 4:17pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

by whyeventry? / 08/02/2013 at 12:39am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 3:54am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

by anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 12:48am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML

by Mayyouneverfindpleasureinavagina / 06/01/2013 at 12:31am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I walked in on my sister masturbating with my curling iron. FML

by need € for new iron / 05/16/2013 at 3:49pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Intimacy

Today, I was again turned down by a potential host family on a student exchange site. Their reasoning was basically that since I'm American, I might do something to endanger my health, get hurt, and then sue them over my own stupidity. FML

by thanks, my fellow americans / 04/18/2013 at 5:41pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was screamed at and told that I was denying someone's "second amendment" by not letting him through with a gun. I work at the border; he was trying to enter Canada. This is not the first time, and it probably won't be the last. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2013 at 6:23am / Canada / Work

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is". Orgasm gone. FML

by iwassoclose / 04/10/2013 at 12:32pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend informed me that from now on during sex, I have to be on top at all times, saying I need the exercise more than him. As offensive as this was, I was actually happy because he's crap on top. FML

by Ann / 03/18/2013 at 10:36am / United States / Intimacy

Today, as always, I'm dating one of the few girls who, without fail, always finishes first when we get intimate. She's also one of those girlfriends who doesn't want to continue once she's done. FML

by WhyDoINeedAName / 03/13/2013 at 3:51pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, while having sex with my husband, he went soft. When I asked him what happened he said, "I'm about to fall asleep." He then plopped down on my chest and began to snore. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2013 at 3:56am / United States / Intimacy