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johnnynumnuts

Offline (the 03/17/2015 at 7:22pm) | Search for a member

johnnynumnuts

2Fucked!

johnnynumnutsjohnnynumnuts
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 18 June 1998 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 877
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About johnnynumnuts : Add me on Sc: Nickkessler98, or message me!

johnnynumnuts's page activity

Visits<b>Emi1y</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 10:32pm<b>KatVa</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 6:25am<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 1:11am<b>holymacabre</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 10:19am<b>annarcheer</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 9:20pm<b>Schoolsystem</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 10:26pm<b>deidradanielle</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 7:13am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 11:47pm<b>Sassy_Kitten96</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 9:51pm<b>Ashd09</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 9:26pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 7:56pm<b>casey_bishhh</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 6:48pm<b>Araj_Hs</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 5:54pm<b>aishah77</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 2:41pm<b>Peachtranquility</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 1:09pm<b>cappellaaa</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 10:21pm<b>taylor21398</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 2:34am<b>hkhan24</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 1:59am

Fucked!<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 7:11am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 4:48am

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johnnynumnuts's favorite FMLs

Today, my company is doing so bad that I had to take down my symbolic first dollar so that I could buy a roll of crackers for dinner. FML

#20865414
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46224) - you deserved it (3518)

On 09/02/2013 at 11:03pm - work - by smurftastic (man) - United States (California)

Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML

#20864109
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55074) - you deserved it (7006)

On 09/02/2013 at 2:49am - intimacy - by Kiddo (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that Cheetos are flammable, as is my hair. FML

Today, half-way through my trip to Florida, I received a call from my friend of six years. "I sort of had sex with your girlfriend while you were gone." He said it "just sort of happened." FML

#20855295
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56584) - you deserved it (4088)

On 08/26/2013 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

#20816318
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51996) - you deserved it (11235)

On 08/02/2013 at 12:39am - intimacy - by whyeventry? (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML

#20809292
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64435) - you deserved it (9520)

On 07/29/2013 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

#20787584
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57477) - you deserved it (6807)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML

#20698551
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59252) - you deserved it (4967)

On 06/01/2013 at 12:31am - health - by Mayyouneverfindpleasureinavagina (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my sister masturbating with my curling iron. FML

#20667250
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76904) - you deserved it (6486)

On 05/16/2013 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by need € for new iron (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I was again turned down by a potential host family on a student exchange site. Their reasoning was basically that since I'm American, I might do something to endanger my health, get hurt, and then sue them over my own stupidity. FML

#20602754
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42995) - you deserved it (12544)

On 04/18/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by thanks, my fellow americans - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was screamed at and told that I was denying someone's "second amendment" by not letting him through with a gun. I work at the border; he was trying to enter Canada. This is not the first time, and it probably won't be the last. FML

#20586134
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42574) - you deserved it (5020)

On 04/12/2013 at 6:23am - work - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is". Orgasm gone. FML

#20583515
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52233) - you deserved it (8355)

On 04/10/2013 at 12:32pm - intimacy - by iwassoclose - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that from now on during sex, I have to be on top at all times, saying I need the exercise more than him. As offensive as this was, I was actually happy because he's crap on top. FML

#20549126
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45624) - you deserved it (8449)

On 03/18/2013 at 10:36am - intimacy - by Ann (woman) - United States

Today, as always, I'm dating one of the few girls who, without fail, always finishes first when we get intimate. She's also one of those girlfriends who doesn't want to continue once she's done. FML

#20542189
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47440) - you deserved it (7705)

On 03/13/2013 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by WhyDoINeedAName - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while having sex with my husband, he went soft. When I asked him what happened he said, "I'm about to fall asleep." He then plopped down on my chest and began to snore. FML

#20536683
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42738) - you deserved it (5611)

On 03/09/2013 at 3:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States



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