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johnnynumnuts

Offline (the 10/19/2014 at 1:59am) | Search for a member

johnnynumnuts

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 413
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About johnnynumnuts : Living like Larry. 15 years old and loving it.

johnnynumnuts's page activity

Visits<b>Smiley_70</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 3:02am<b>cleo_ann</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 9:54am<b>mets300</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 10:48am<b>Kar0</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 6:37pm<b>broderickc</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 12:12am<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 11:24am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 12:30am<b>euphoricness</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 11:33pm<b>abbbeyS</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 11:37pm<b>alexa_fike</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 9:29pm<b>SadGirl18</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 10:35pm<b>JazmineSkyy</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 4:24pm<b>tatersalad123</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 9:00am<b>beatlesgirl2u2</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 11:55am<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 8:07pm<b>loriprieto</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 6:56pm<b>badsmith</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 6:55pm<b>n_bagg05</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 11:44pm

johnnynumnuts's FML badges

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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johnnynumnuts's favorite FMLs

Today, while in bed, my boyfriend pointed to my stomach and said, "Bad fat", then pointed to my boobs and said, "Good fat." FML

#20906869
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51369) - you deserved it (7135)

On 10/04/2013 at 4:20am - misc - by f.a.t. (woman) - Australia

Today, I was training at work on proper techniques of physical restraint. As my coworker was practicing on me, I realized this was the first time I've had physical contact with a man in years. I'm ashamed to admit how good it felt to feel his weight pressed into my back as I pretended to resist. FML

#20906772
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38897) - you deserved it (4385)

On 10/04/2013 at 1:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML

#20906275
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33964) - you deserved it (28960)

On 10/03/2013 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Kyra.45 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after 6 months of sex, my boyfriend showered himself with praise for managing, for the first time ever, to stretch the act out to a full minute. FML

#20905202
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46844) - you deserved it (5242)

On 10/02/2013 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by Sooz (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was on a dinner date with a guy I really like. I guess I was on my phone too much because halfway through the date he sent me a text saying how much my half of the bill would be. FML

#20904456
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16520) - you deserved it (109244)

On 10/02/2013 at 8:43am - love - by Lilly (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my bully made me cry once again. It's been going on for weeks. I don't know who to turn to; I can't say anything because I'd get into even more trouble. He even stole my Nintendo 3DS and won't give it back. My bully is my girlfriend's son. He's 10. FML

#20904358
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29930) - you deserved it (49703)

On 10/02/2013 at 4:12am - kids - by PickedOnByDamien (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML

#20904281
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36066) - you deserved it (6051)

On 10/02/2013 at 1:47am - intimacy - by fed up/turned off - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend called me a selfish bitch and dumped me after I told him I'm planning on getting much-needed breast reduction surgery. FML

#20903440
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57348) - you deserved it (13960)

On 10/01/2013 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by Ggirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my daughter trying to cut her wrist with a plastic spoon. When I asked her why, she said her friend Lucy did that so her parents would buy her pretty things. My daughter and Lucy are both four years old. FML

#20902425
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44335) - you deserved it (3268)

On 09/30/2013 at 7:54pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, I helped my brother propose to his girlfriend of 5 years in the spot where they had first met. As he delivered his heartfelt speech, a sizable crowd appeared. When he got down on one knee, she punched him in the gut, yelled, "I never loved you", and ran away. Now he won't talk to me. FML

#20887080
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48137) - you deserved it (3038)

On 09/18/2013 at 9:45pm - love - by ElizaZee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my sister came out of her room sobbing uncontrollably. When I asked what was wrong, she put her fingers in my face and asked if they smelled like pickles, and if "that's normal for girls". They did. It's not. FML

#20880468
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42472) - you deserved it (3164)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:42am - health - by Carebeareatu (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my company is doing so bad that I had to take down my symbolic first dollar so that I could buy a roll of crackers for dinner. FML

#20865414
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44677) - you deserved it (3389)

On 09/02/2013 at 11:03pm - work - by smurftastic (man) - United States (California)

Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML

#20864109
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52719) - you deserved it (6727)

On 09/02/2013 at 2:49am - intimacy - by Kiddo (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that Cheetos are flammable, as is my hair. FML

Today, half-way through my trip to Florida, I received a call from my friend of six years. "I sort of had sex with your girlfriend while you were gone." He said it "just sort of happened." FML

#20855295
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56196) - you deserved it (4067)

On 08/26/2013 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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Friday 17 October 2014

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