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Offline (the 06/30/2016 at 1:58am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 18 June 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1982
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About johnnynumnuts : Louisville, Kentucky.

Kik: nicholaskessler
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johnnynumnuts's page activity

Visits<b>2simz</b> - the 09/03/2016 at 10:27pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 6:52am<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 12:10am<b>_itsbridgett</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 9:15pm<b>samanthaelena</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 6:03pm<b>neneluvsyooh</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 11:45pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 1:12am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 2:11am<b>princesskammm</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 9:42am<b>tpagacz</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 1:33am<b>reaaaagan6</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 12:41am<b>Mons</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 12:24am<b>shufflyn</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 10:09am<b>violentsneezes</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 11:13pm<b>lchollett</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 9:27pm<b>ginnyboo</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 12:09am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 11:15pm<b>mallaryheintz</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 9:33pm

Fucked!<b>_itsbridgett</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 3:16am<b>neneluvsyooh</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 4:38am<b>violentsneezes</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 8:16pm<b>ginnyboo</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 6:09am<b>lchollett</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 2:35am<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 7:11am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 4:48am

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johnnynumnuts's favorite FMLs

Today, my 6-year-old daughter threw a tantrum in the middle of a store, all because I wouldn't buy her a pushup bra. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2013 at 12:44am / United States / Kids

Today, my son's lemonade stand was robbed by a senior citizen. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2013 at 6:25pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, I was reminded that while I have a nice waist, bum and boobs, I'm unspeakably ugly. I was walking down the street when a guy wolf-whistled from behind me, and when I turned around, he visibly recoiled in disgust. FML

by british_babe / 10/05/2013 at 1:51pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I pretended to be deaf to a door to door salesman. He knew sign language. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2013 at 2:56am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, while in bed, my boyfriend pointed to my stomach and said, "Bad fat", then pointed to my boobs and said, "Good fat." FML

by f.a.t. / 10/04/2013 at 4:20am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I was training at work on proper techniques of physical restraint. As my coworker was practicing on me, I realized this was the first time I've had physical contact with a man in years. I'm ashamed to admit how good it felt to feel his weight pressed into my back as I pretended to resist. FML

by Anonymous / 10/04/2013 at 1:04am / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML

by Kyra.45 / 10/03/2013 at 6:46pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, after 6 months of sex, my boyfriend showered himself with praise for managing, for the first time ever, to stretch the act out to a full minute. FML

by Sooz / 10/02/2013 at 9:18pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I was on a dinner date with a guy I really like. I guess I was on my phone too much because halfway through the date he sent me a text saying how much my half of the bill would be. FML

by Lilly / 10/02/2013 at 8:43am / United States (Arkansas) / Love

Today, my bully made me cry once again. It's been going on for weeks. I don't know who to turn to; I can't say anything because I'd get into even more trouble. He even stole my Nintendo 3DS and won't give it back. My bully is my girlfriend's son. He's 10. FML

by PickedOnByDamien / 10/02/2013 at 4:12am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML

by fed up/turned off / 10/02/2013 at 1:47am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend called me a selfish bitch and dumped me after I told him I'm planning on getting much-needed breast reduction surgery. FML

by Ggirl / 10/01/2013 at 3:41pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my daughter trying to cut her wrist with a plastic spoon. When I asked her why, she said her friend Lucy did that so her parents would buy her pretty things. My daughter and Lucy are both four years old. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2013 at 7:54pm / United Kingdom (West Lothian) / Kids

Today, I helped my brother propose to his girlfriend of 5 years in the spot where they had first met. As he delivered his heartfelt speech, a sizable crowd appeared. When he got down on one knee, she punched him in the gut, yelled, "I never loved you", and ran away. Now he won't talk to me. FML

by ElizaZee / 09/18/2013 at 9:45pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, my sister came out of her room sobbing uncontrollably. When I asked what was wrong, she put her fingers in my face and asked if they smelled like pickles, and if "that's normal for girls". They did. It's not. FML

by Carebeareatu / 09/14/2013 at 1:42am / United States (Texas) / Health