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johnnynumnuts

Offline (the 07/15/2015 at 6:46am) | Search for a member

johnnynumnuts

3Fucked!

johnnynumnutsjohnnynumnuts
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 18 June 1998 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 931
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About johnnynumnuts : Add me on Sc: Nickkessler98, or message me!

johnnynumnuts's page activity

Visits<b>mog907</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 3:29am<b>RandEm2497</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 8:58pm<b>jadenn111</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 3:18am<b>shutupallison</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 1:01pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 9:32am<b>airassault</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 7:19pm<b>Emi1y</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 10:32pm<b>KatVa</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 6:25am<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 1:11am<b>holymacabre</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 10:19am<b>annarcheer</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 9:20pm<b>Schoolsystem</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 10:26pm<b>deidradanielle</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 7:13am<b>Sassy_Kitten96</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 9:51pm<b>Ashd09</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 9:26pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 7:56pm<b>casey_bishhh</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 6:48pm<b>Araj_Hs</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 5:54pm

Fucked!<b>mog907</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 9:30am<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 7:11am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 4:48am

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johnnynumnuts's favorite FMLs

Today, my ex boyfriend got into a physical fight with the guy I've been casually seeing for 9 months. Afterwards, they had a beer, a long chat, and decided this was my fault and I wasn't worth the drama. FML

#20933266
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44976) - you deserved it (20159)

On 10/25/2013 at 7:54am - love - by what did I do? - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was assigned to fill in for a French teacher who was out sick. I had asked the class to name some French-speaking countries. I called on one girl and she replied, "Uh, Europe. That's, like, the only other one, right?" Nobody disagreed. I'm filling in for the rest of the month. FML

#20929522
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42614) - you deserved it (2740)

On 10/21/2013 at 9:40pm - work - by :| - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a few of my friends arranged for us to go skinny-dipping with the guy I really like. It went really well, until a turd surfaced before our eyes. After we scrambled out of the pool in panic, my crush called us all freaks and left. FML

#20927673
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41021) - you deserved it (5507)

On 10/20/2013 at 3:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom let me stay home from school, because I was sick. We both agreed not to tell my dad, since he's adamant that I never miss even one day of school. A few hours after my mom left for work, he came back home, with another woman. FML

#20925128
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68937) - you deserved it (3217)

On 10/18/2013 at 12:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I had to take my boyfriend to the emergency room to get stitches from cutting his arm during sex. I sat there while he explained to the doctor how it was the best orgasm ever. FML

#20924645
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46153) - you deserved it (6324)

On 10/17/2013 at 11:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML

#20918730
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21739) - you deserved it (81970)

On 10/13/2013 at 10:38am - love - by not getting laid - United States (Texas)

Today, trying to be romantic, I started coming on to my wife while in bed, only for her to yet again say she wasn't in the mood. When I asked why she never is lately, she sarcastically blamed it on the government shutdown, then rolled over to go to sleep. FML

#20916670
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52098) - you deserved it (5651)

On 10/11/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by (-__- ) ( ^.^) (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was talking dirty to my long-distance lover while touching myself, when a cockroach fell from my ceiling and landed on the hand I was molesting myself with. FML

#20915065
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48560) - you deserved it (16299)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:40am - intimacy - by DisgustinglyFrustrated - Argentina (Santa Fe)

Today, my boyfriend blew me off yet again because he claims he has a responsibility as a "crew leader" to train and recruit members at all times, to accommodate all time zones. GTA V is ruining our relationship. FML

Today, I got my daughter's school pictures. Instead of smiling, she did the duck face. She's 6. FML

#20912722
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47954) - you deserved it (7843)

On 10/08/2013 at 5:16pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend accused me of cheating because according to him, our child does not have his hair color, eye color, or other facial features. Our son is five days old, bald and hasn't opened his eyes much. The closest thing I can probably compare him to is an old, wrinkly potato. FML

#20912171
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56249) - you deserved it (4457)

On 10/08/2013 at 5:55am - kids - by thisguy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time after we made up from a huge fight. He loves my cat, but she's sick right now so she wouldn't play with him. He yelled at me for "making" her not like him by "telling her lies". FML

#20910894
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46950) - you deserved it (4797)

On 10/07/2013 at 12:20pm - animals - by littlekellilee (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML

#20909928
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50769) - you deserved it (3588)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:54pm - love - by UHM (man) - United States

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

#20909921
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59225) - you deserved it (3547)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was my first time having a make out session with my boyfriend. I got so nervous that a few minutes into it, I had to stop to take my inhaler. This happened twice more afterwards. FML

#20909145
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49054) - you deserved it (5346)

On 10/06/2013 at 1:20am - intimacy - by inhaler -.- - United States (Alabama)



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