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johnnynumnuts

Offline (the 08/10/2014 at 8:26am) | Search for a member

johnnynumnuts

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 369
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About johnnynumnuts : Living like Larry. 15 years old and loving it.

johnnynumnuts's page activity

Visits<b>Smiley_70</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 3:02am<b>cleo_ann</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 9:54am<b>mets300</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 10:48am<b>Kar0</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 6:37pm<b>broderickc</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 12:12am<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 11:24am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 12:30am<b>euphoricness</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 11:33pm<b>abbbeyS</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 11:37pm<b>alexa_fike</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 9:29pm<b>SadGirl18</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 10:35pm<b>JazmineSkyy</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 4:24pm<b>tatersalad123</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 9:00am<b>beatlesgirl2u2</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 11:55am<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 8:07pm<b>loriprieto</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 6:56pm<b>badsmith</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 6:55pm<b>n_bagg05</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 11:44pm

johnnynumnuts's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of johnnynumnuts's badges

johnnynumnuts's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to take my boyfriend to the emergency room to get stitches from cutting his arm during sex. I sat there while he explained to the doctor how it was the best orgasm ever. FML

#20924645
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45722) - you deserved it (6291)

On 10/17/2013 at 11:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML

#20918730
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21586) - you deserved it (81356)

On 10/13/2013 at 10:38am - love - by not getting laid - United States (Texas)

Today, trying to be romantic, I started coming on to my wife while in bed, only for her to yet again say she wasn't in the mood. When I asked why she never is lately, she sarcastically blamed it on the government shutdown, then rolled over to go to sleep. FML

#20916670
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51662) - you deserved it (5622)

On 10/11/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by (-__- ) ( ^.^) (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was talking dirty to my long-distance lover while touching myself, when a cockroach fell from my ceiling and landed on the hand I was molesting myself with. FML

#20915065
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48128) - you deserved it (16222)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:40am - intimacy - by DisgustinglyFrustrated - Argentina (Santa Fe)

Today, my boyfriend blew me off yet again because he claims he has a responsibility as a "crew leader" to train and recruit members at all times, to accommodate all time zones. GTA V is ruining our relationship. FML

Today, I got my daughter's school pictures. Instead of smiling, she did the duck face. She's 6. FML

#20912722
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45913) - you deserved it (7518)

On 10/08/2013 at 5:16pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend accused me of cheating because according to him, our child does not have his hair color, eye color, or other facial features. Our son is five days old, bald and hasn't opened his eyes much. The closest thing I can probably compare him to is an old, wrinkly potato. FML

#20912171
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53555) - you deserved it (4222)

On 10/08/2013 at 5:55am - kids - by thisguy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time after we made up from a huge fight. He loves my cat, but she's sick right now so she wouldn't play with him. He yelled at me for "making" her not like him by "telling her lies". FML

#20910894
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44905) - you deserved it (4599)

On 10/07/2013 at 12:20pm - animals - by littlekellilee (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML

#20909928
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50433) - you deserved it (3572)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:54pm - love - by UHM (man) - United States

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

#20909921
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57069) - you deserved it (3374)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was my first time having a make out session with my boyfriend. I got so nervous that a few minutes into it, I had to stop to take my inhaler. This happened twice more afterwards. FML

#20909145
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46381) - you deserved it (5032)

On 10/06/2013 at 1:20am - intimacy - by inhaler -.- - United States (Alabama)

Today, my 6-year-old daughter threw a tantrum in the middle of a store, all because I wouldn't buy her a pushup bra. FML

#20909114
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46030) - you deserved it (6552)

On 10/06/2013 at 12:44am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my son's lemonade stand was robbed by a senior citizen. FML

#20908703
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46765) - you deserved it (2947)

On 10/05/2013 at 6:25pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was reminded that while I have a nice waist, bum and boobs, I'm unspeakably ugly. I was walking down the street when a guy wolf-whistled from behind me, and when I turned around, he visibly recoiled in disgust. FML

#20908389
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46405) - you deserved it (3797)

On 10/05/2013 at 1:51pm - misc - by british_babe (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I pretended to be deaf to a door to door salesman. He knew sign language. FML

#20907982
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21227) - you deserved it (47741)

On 10/05/2013 at 2:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)



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