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johnnie254

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johnnie254
  • Town/Country : Harker Heights, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 21 June 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 665
  • Number of comments : 150
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About johnnie254 : uhhh, im weird but youll definitely like me :)

johnnie254's last visitors

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johnnie254's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

johnnie254's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

#20731946
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57307) - you deserved it (35815)

On 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm - kids - by young grandpa - United States (Georgia)

Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML

#17557500
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16990) - you deserved it (47878)

On 08/23/2011 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by MissCan'tKeepAJob - United States (Texas)

Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML

#17496000
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26625) - you deserved it (3228)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was caught and fined for picking a lock. I have OCD. I was picking the padlock on a toilet paper holder in a public toilet because the roll was the wrong way round. FML

#17487298
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28114) - you deserved it (11236)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by Anon - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML

#17487267
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30958) - you deserved it (2679)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:22am - kids - by Gross... (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I killed a centipede. Now every little itch I feel, I think it's the centipede's spirit coming back to haunt me. FML

#17188633
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13756) - you deserved it (39821)

On 07/20/2011 at 8:36am - misc - by ElixirRose - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out my boyfriend has checked every girl he has ever slept with for 'vagina teeth'. I'm apparently no exception. FML

#17184971
380 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33937) - you deserved it (5071)

On 07/20/2011 at 12:40am - intimacy - by knolan - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend to stop tickling me, since I absolutely hate being tickled. He got extremely pissed at me and left the room. It took me a full five minutes to realize that I'd called him by my ex's name. FML

#17184494
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11500) - you deserved it (65658)

On 07/20/2011 at 12:07am - love - by sarahbeth93 - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I found myself crying for an hour when my recreated crush on The Sims 3 game rejected my character and ran off with someone else. FML

#15978808
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15386) - you deserved it (48651)

On 04/29/2011 at 3:34pm - love - by Nxydolli (man) - United Kingdom (Durham)

Today, a tornado watch has been instituted in my town. At this moment, I have violent diarrhea, and my toilet sits right in front of a window. FML

#15962941
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28134) - you deserved it (3645)

On 04/28/2011 at 12:51pm - health - by cnamobi - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML

#15962479
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43036) - you deserved it (4651)

On 04/28/2011 at 11:53am - animals - by Cecilly2010 -

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend and told him how smitten I was with him. He responded by giving me a wedgie. FML

#15945280
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25407) - you deserved it (6267)

On 04/27/2011 at 2:54am - love - by :( -

Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML

#15922476
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42897) - you deserved it (4503)

On 04/25/2011 at 5:39pm - misc - by Mike -

Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML

#15922476
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42897) - you deserved it (4503)

On 04/25/2011 at 5:39pm - misc - by Mike -



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