About johnnie254 : uhhh, im weird but youll definitely like me :)
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14711) - you deserved it (36637)
On 08/23/2011 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by MissCan'tKeepAJob - United States (Texas)
Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21972) - you deserved it (2345)
On 08/17/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was caught and fined for picking a lock. I have OCD. I was picking the padlock on a toilet paper holder in a public toilet because the roll was the wrong way round. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26177) - you deserved it (10443)
On 08/16/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by Anon - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27201) - you deserved it (2045)
On 08/16/2011 at 2:22am - kids - by Gross... (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I killed a centipede. Now every little itch I feel, I think it's the centipede's spirit coming back to haunt me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12159) - you deserved it (31199)
On 07/20/2011 at 8:36am - misc - by ElixirRose - United States (Georgia)
Today, I found out my boyfriend has checked every girl he has ever slept with for 'vagina teeth'. I'm apparently no exception. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29462) - you deserved it (3986)
On 07/20/2011 at 12:40am - intimacy - by knolan - United States
Today, I told my boyfriend to stop tickling me, since I absolutely hate being tickled. He got extremely pissed at me and left the room. It took me a full five minutes to realize that I'd called him by my ex's name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10343) - you deserved it (61817)
On 07/20/2011 at 12:07am - love - by sarahbeth93 - United States (Mississippi)
Today, I found myself crying for an hour when my recreated crush on The Sims 3 game rejected my character and ran off with someone else. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13861) - you deserved it (39625)
On 04/29/2011 at 3:34pm - love - by Nxydolli (man) - United Kingdom (Durham)
Today, a tornado watch has been instituted in my town. At this moment, I have violent diarrhea, and my toilet sits right in front of a window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24200) - you deserved it (2863)
On 04/28/2011 at 12:51pm - health - by cnamobi - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39209) - you deserved it (4361)
On 04/28/2011 at 11:53am - animals - by Cecilly2010 -
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend and told him how smitten I was with him. He responded by giving me a wedgie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21763) - you deserved it (5085)
On 04/27/2011 at 2:54am - love - by :( -
Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42187) - you deserved it (4476)
On 04/25/2011 at 5:39pm - misc - by Mike -
Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42187) - you deserved it (4476)
On 04/25/2011 at 5:39pm - misc - by Mike -
Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30257) - you deserved it (49773)
On 12/11/2010 at 9:44am - kids - by parentfail (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, while parking my car, I accidentally bumped into the car in front of me, making a small, barely noticeable dent. I felt bad, wrote an apology note, and stuck it on his windshield. An hour later, he replied by keying the entire right side of my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19756) - you deserved it (7012)
On 12/11/2010 at 2:40am - misc - by immunizations - Canada (British Columbia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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